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This buggar stuck to my finger
No matter how much I rub and flick
The **** thing won't come loose
It's surely making me sick
I tried to give it time to dry
But it's wet as wet can be
No matter how hard I try
This thing is so **** gooey
I can't put it back in my head
And surely not in my mouth
I guess I have no choice
But wipe it under the couch
Don't act like you've never done it
dan hinton Nov 2011
The emails have not been kind of
Late –
It’s not sadistic publishers
Or die-hard groupies
(well, mostly not)
No it’s people getting in touch
Wanting a taste of the good stuff
Their mouthful of meat
What they believe is theirs,
A weight I should carry.
Sometimes it’s about poetry,
I only wish more of it was –
But mainly it’s people
With nowhere to turn
And no thought for my situation.
I try and assuage their grief
But it’s no good
I cannot do it.
One day I can take no more,
I am staring at the ceiling
And I hear the telling ping.
I hit delete
It could be Jesus gone viral
But I doubt it,
Even He knows
I’m past saving.
Then I know it’s a diehard,
My phone begins to make
Continual pinging noises;
An ****** of woe.
The buggar then begins to
Ring.
I could fling him across
Main Street
But I only bought him
Two days ago.
He’s not worth it,
And goes away,
Before I can blow.
But sure enough,
There is no peace for the wicked:
Beep, beep
Ring, ring
Ping, ping
I picked it up, primed
“What do you want?!” I bellow.
“Oh... I’m sorry Mr. Hinton, just
To let you know this is Nurse
Georgia, reminding you about your
Appointment this Friday?”
I told her I’d be
There for her.
That boy
He drives me nuts
He's the cloud of gnats who get stuck in my ear
He's the patch of ice that sent me down on my rear
He's the kid in third grade
Who pulled my pigtail
He's the buggar the postman left
On my mail
He's stuck to me, now
All slimy and goo
I wonder if he's thinking of me too
Dude
You're rude
And ignorant too
You're Archie Bunker
Sneezing all over
Infected with flu
Your the pile of dogshit
In the front yard
The completely limp ****
That just can't get hard
You're the too wet buggar
That just won't flick off
You are saggy *******
All wrinkly and soft
You are the Grinch
Without the grown heart
You are the publicly
Loud, stinky ****
You are the gum
Stuck on the shoe
I can't think of one good thing
To say about you
Indicator light signaling door(s) ajar
least significant issue concerning
2009 Hyundai Sonata car
applauded craftsmanship **** exemplar,
thus said vehicle deserves favorable avatar,

nonetheless vehicular maintenance
exceeds king's ransom by far
takes lion's share comprising regular
costs of living bar
none versus stream lined budget

regarding: accommodations,
food, medical coverage... far,
and away much more amenable
regarding no frills bizarre
lifestyle of yours truly plus costar

ring the missus, (who lacks
income unearned or otherwise)
our saving grace courtesy avuncular
Uncle Sam, he electronically deposits
social security disability embar

hissing mendicant wannabe
mental illness exacerbated
meting scant monies weakens flimsy pillar
buttressing minimalist existence par
for the course financial angst

ratchets psychological radar
impending crisis looming me... war
reed upkeep with automobile
which additionally includes... Omar
dog: lapsed emission/ inspection

passenger right side tire slow leak,
like gray matter of former scholar,
whose accomplishment
less substantial than agar
on petri dish loathes

his tractless doomed station,
nor his he advocate being a beggar,
yet series of unfortunate events
(thank ye Lemony Snicket)
bedrock steadfast credo secular

humanist never doth waver
amidst adversity though
perpetually unmoored buoy
weighed and zee gull live insular
lives bitterly weathering
psychic pestilential buggar.

— The End —