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JJ Hutton Jul 2011
A bad mix of Shorty's Irish Whisky
and a whimper riding the wind,
has got me lying about my past.
A roomful of men in nooseties surround,
crowbar stares prying at my mindsafe of secrets--
I drink until the grimace gives way to birthday cake grin
and my watering eyes burst in confetti.

Martha emerges from the black suits
in her spiderweb burgundy dress.
Jack and Nathan drool in the corner.
Martha whispers, "Hey Harvey," and then a terribly long
something-or-other in my ear,
but I'm too far gone to comprehend
or to care about comprehending.
The crafted playlist for this party
hiccups and dies, creating a suffocating silence.
The beady eyes turn shifty, erratic strayfire gazes
fill the room.

I begin to laugh.

I notice Jack talking to a grey-haired man and pointing at me.
Martha looks at me and nods with a sense of urgency.
New music coughs across the room,
I slide into a small, desperate clan of dreamy-talkers,
hungry for a new pair of ears to beesting with *******.
I listen, while my aging wolf scours the room.
I make a swift break for the door,
the night lies naked in front of me--
light pollution pours fake beams on the contours of the evening.
A middle-aged woman snags my arm before I can reach my car.
I pull until my arm frees, but she delays me enough
for the grey-haired man to catch up.

He introduces himself with a lightning one-two punch.
One being a sharp left hook.
Two being a dusting right uppercut.

"You stay the hell away from my daughter!"

I begin to ***** a river of orange, red, dotted with black chunks.
More than a few drops land on his shiny black leather shoes,
so he proceeds to break my nose with a vicious kick.

Amidst my moans, I am able to ask, "Who is your daughter?"

"Karen, Karen Newman."

"I have no idea who that is!" I cry.

"Don't lie to me, Jack! She told us all about you."

"My name is Harvey."

I look out into the road.
A blue sedan stops momentarily.

"I owe you one, buddy!" Jack shouts.

The Newman parents disappear without
so much as an apology.
I lay listening to the low hum of the city's traffic.
A few minutes pass, sending me into a haze.
Delicate fingers lift my head from the concrete,
I look up.
Martha begins to clean the blood and ***** from
my face with a wash cloth.
I feel soft and pure in her hands.
Juliana Mar 2021
i have never understood when
someone tells me that snow is beautiful
the shimmer of white dust
settling like a veil on the now dying grass
the grey clouds they’ve descended upon
the yellow of dog **** giving it its only color.

how is that gorgeous?
don’t you want to make a snow angel?
let’s go sledding!

i want the summer
i want the springtime
i want to open my sunroof
feel the cool breeze on my skin
take of this ******* hoodie
go outside
go on a walk
look at the trees
remember that people exist.

i’ve never liked flowers
i don’t have a good sense of smell
but I would take the pain of a beesting
over the tears of a snowman any day.
f May 2022
04/28/22

i love living.

God has finally became a part of my routine, and him & i are in a better place. i just have to do one more thing. i hope i can do it.

i feel like i've matured a lot since last year, since that July. my flowers have ripened, and it's spring. today was our last day, and it made me realize, that life is about gratitude. it's about appreciating the little things, the ladybird that landed on your hand while gardening, or the beesting that really hurts. whether good or bad, it's better than nothing, which someone has. and even when receiving unspeakable news, Allah (SWT) has done it for a reason. i won't cry over what happens, because it's done for. nothing i could ever do.

life is about realizing everything has an end. once it's gone, nothing will be the same. i want to live with no regrets, living like tomorrow is not a guarantee. life can go by in a second. i was leaning on the kitchen counter, reminiscing about my childhood. i was pouring brown sugar into a cup of tea, which reminded me of a time when i used to dig our garden searching for worms. i smelled the aroma of freshly wet grass from rainfall and started watching the snails i put in line race to the end. if i don't catch my moments, ill never live. i need to step out of my comfort zone and become the person i know i can be. ill try everything i want. ill read all the classical books and be me.
the key is gratitude!!!

a letter to myself. i hope you can read it, if you read anything of mine.

— The End —