Contemplating the versatility of Mayo
And all that can be done with it
From the slathering on whilst sun bathing
To globbing it on my bologna sandwich

I find it tantalizing to the tastebuds
And it sure does sizzle in the sun
I once applied to much and set my toes on fire
Lucky for me I lost only one

Thank goodness I was near the water
When my foot went up in flames
I guess that's why God gives us ten toes
In case we lose any along the way

As with anything you can even get bored with Mayonnaise
That's why I strive for different ideas
So I put my brain juices into overdrive
And came up with this amazing list

Instead of milk in a shake you can use Mayo
Please wait till the end for all the applause
I'm still having trouble dealing with thickness
And have yet to get it through the straw

Perhaps if I leave out the ice cream
And just add Mayo, milk chocolate, and ice
I guess I'll just keep on experimenting
When it's ready you can be the first in line

And who doesn't like mayonnaise on anchovie pizza
The perfect combination at best
Even better than peanut butter and jelly
If only I can figure out how to package it

Mayonnaise is also the perfect conditioner
You could leave it in your hair for days I suppose
But try to avoid to much time in the sun
After all...remember the toes

I'm going back to my room for more ideas now
Or as I like to call it..."The Mayo Think Tank"
I know my family thinks I'm a genius
Cause they always leave me in there for days

No flat filet of anchovie
Is half so snug as you and me
Packed oh so cozy, close and tight
Tube-travellers on a Southwest flight

Tucked in a soft reclining chair
We breathe the keroscentic air
Peanuts and cheese-nips for a feast
Cuisine de Southwest, flying east

With nearly nothing on our plate
Let's use our near-starvation state
Creatively, for we can fly it
As an impromptu enroute diet

Charon the captain of our flight
We jet across the Styxian night
Yet hopeful that beyond the gates
Some bona fi-de' food awaits

Airline Infernal ! Flight Eternal !
Scribble, scribble in your journal
Never, ever go again, with this mechanicien
No more the lines, no more the crunch
But if you just must; pack a lunch.