"anbp" poems
I feel so outside of myself
this isn't me
I don't care if you don't call
I don't care if you don't come by
nothing you do phases me
I'm a Scorpio
you cant know me
but you do, somewhat
this drives me crazy
The vulernability
The uneasiness I feel with it
Why must you do this do to me?
Why did I let you?
I need control but I don't have it
Because of you
and what I feel
feeling so good
I know what I feel is real
But my mind doesn't see it.
(c) ANBP 3/24/2011
Oct 15, 2011
Oct 15, 2011 at 9:10 PM UTC
I been bestowed this burden
Hiding inside
Controlling my actions
Dictating what I do
And don’t do
Limiting my flexibility
Adding to my irritability
Causing physical pain
Adding to my mental distress
Complicating my relationships
What makes her and them better than me?
Why don’t they all suffer like me?
What makes me deserve this burden
I thought I was doing good
Doing what you wanted
Shedding the excess
Adding to the overall condition
But it’s a cheap trick
I been bamboozled back to square one
Its so hard to keep a smile on my face
Knowing what I know inside
Lashing out even though they don’t know
The ones who know don’t provide support
Or assistance just pressure and blame
They just say its heriditery
In your genetic line
I just want it gone
But then you tell me
What I would miss
As if I could miss this
Painful embarrassing controlling condition
And look with disgust because
I rather be barren
(c) ANBP 3/25/11
Oct 15, 2011
Oct 15, 2011 at 9:08 PM UTC