My little girl,
You are innocent and sweet.
You are the most precious thing
Anyone could meet.

You are my social butterfly,
You are clueless to how horrible the world can be,
Of how sad it can make people feel.
But all of YOUR sadness - I will make sure it goes to me.

You don't deserve to feel pain,
I don't want you to grow up the way I did.
You are my dandelion in the spring,
Even though your'e my stepmother's kid.

I love you more than life itself,
I would give mine away for you.
And some days I can only hope,
That you love yourself as much as I do.

With your golden hair
And crystal blue eyes,
People may underestimate you,
But from me they will be despised.

So my darling Alyra,
So perfect and young,
When I am thinking of you,
The words "I love you" will easily come.

My little girl,
You are innocent and sweet.
You are the most precious thing
Anyone could meet.

You are my social butterfly,
You are clueless to how horrible the world can be,
Of how sad it can make people feel.
But all of YOUR sadness - I will make sure it goes to me.

You don't deserve to feel pain,
I don't want you to grow up the way I did.
You are my dandelion in the spring,
Even though your'e my stepmother's kid.

I love you more than life itself,
I would give mine away for you.
And some days I can only hope,
That you love yourself as much as I do.

With your golden hair
And crystal blue eyes,
People may underestimate you,
But from me they will be despised.

So my darling Alyra,
So perfect and young,
When I am thinking of you,
The words "I love you" will easily come.

Alyra, remember that day?
That day at the park?
You were three, and I was eleven.
We went to the park with Daddy, Mummy, Molly, Arielle, Ella, Erin, and Pete.

Remember? You played on the playground with Ella and Arielle.
While Erin was teaching me to play basketball.
It was around August, so not too hot.
After we ate lunch, the big kids played touch footy while you went to the sandpit.

At the end is the day, when everyone was talking, you presented me with a big bunch of dandelions.
I told you and the girls to collect some more and I'll make jewelry with them?
You would take off that silly neckless for hours until it broke.
Then, I plaited  flowers through your hair. You looked even more beautiful then you already are.

Just before sunset we danced and danced and danced.
That was the day you taught me 'Doggy Doggy'.
We watched the sunset - all of us.
You were sitting on my lap telling me about your day at kindy the day before.

Alyra, baby girl, try and remember.
Because one day, you won't be a baby girl anymore.
You'll just have memories.
That is why I hang on to them so hard. Because I never want to forget. And I never will. Not when it comes to you.

Waiting in the dark. Just waiting.
I can't sleep. I will wait until morning.
I just can't risk having that dream again.
That one dream. The dream that changed my life forever.

I dreamt that I was running so fast that I felt like I was flying.
I felt amazing. Smiling, laughing, feeling the wind blow through my hair.
As I approached a house, I saw it was on fire.
When I moved close, I saw that it was specifically my father's house.

"No," I said. Then I started screaming.
"No no no no NO!" I was starting to hear screams.
It was her. Alyra. She came running out of the house as if she was on fire. And she was.
Her pink-white shirt got caught on the door and she was stuck.

I tried to run for her. I did. I really tried.
But these hands grabbed my waist.
I looked back, and could see a boy. Blonde hair, but the face was blurred.
I was so mad that he wouldn't let me get her. I punched him and kicked him, but he just wouldn't let me go.

All he said was "I'm sorry."
Throughout my dream there were so many people whom I loved that died.
Alyra, Molly, my mother, my father, all my close family members like young Isabel, Rose, and T-J. Lilly, Maegan, Mahali, and SO MANY people died.
Each time I couldn't save them.

Then, at the very end of my dream, I fell into a pit.
Everyone who I couldn't save came and buried me alive. Each person giving me one shovel of dirt.
The list went on and on.
I woke up sweating and thrashing about.

And this, is how I learned that I really should not make any more friends.
It hurts to care about people, it hurts to love people.
But there are some whom I just can't help myself with.
I hate caring about them, but it pleasures me to know that they are safe... Safe. Ha. Safety doesn't exist. And the sooner we figure that out, the better off we'll be.