This Ain't a ******* Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

This song it ain't bout country things

Like pickup trucks and cars

You'll never find me writing

About getting drunk in bars

There's no mention here of Taylor Swift

or The Charlie Daniels Band

I wouldn't write of how the banks

are taking our farmland

This Ain't a ******* Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

I don't know **** 'bout Redneck stuff

like hunting dogs and guns

I wouldn't write of Daisy Dukes

showing off some hot babes buns

I won't write 'bout the Opry

I don't know all that stuff

Of Minnie Pearl and Grandpa Jones

And Mr. Roy Acuff

This Ain't a ******* Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

There's nothing here 'bout Bourbon

or of Racing through the fields

I don't know much about farming

or crop futures or of yields

I listen to The Rolling Stones

Trace Adkins I don't like

Lady A can go away

Kid Rock can ride his bike

You won't hear much about Zac Browns Band

or of food thats Chicken Fried

I might go to a hoedown

If I'd  just  up and died

My music, it fulfills me

It makes me who I am

But I'll stay away from country

songs, Cause I don't give a ****

No Oak Ridge Boys or Hee Haw Here

Hank Williams I won't buy

I'll never buy a Dixie Beer

It's a drink I'll never try

I won't sing about Kentucky

or of a Texas Yellow Rose

you know this aint no country song

Good god I hope it shows

There's no mohter, dogs or applie pie

no  fishin' in the dark

No Everything is Beautiful

No songs by Terry Clark

I'm really open minded

My friends they are the same

We won't buy country music

To us it's just so lame

This Ain't a ******* Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

I won't mention stuff you'll find

in songs by Nashville bands

There's nothing here about

watching football in the stands

I'll never write a country song

Cause country just ain't fun

Oh crap I just read this thing

And I think I just wrote one

This Ain't a ******* Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

Falling.
Lost.
Falling fast into a dream dark as night.
A nightmare that steal my soul.
If I  have one left worth being stole...
So take it. Just take it.
Take all of me.
Enclose me. Encase me.
Place me on display. Destroy me.
Let everyone see me. Lie to me
Just make a victim of me very lastly...
or was I a victim of me already?
Inhale me.
Breathe into me.
You tease me.
Is this your secret on death?
Of bone? Of flesh?
Of the emptiness that now lie within me?
The life I had, you took it from me.
You killed me.
Your killing me!
Take it! Take it all!
I will want for nothing.
I'll never again need a thing..
So Enclose me. Encase me.
**** me slowly.
Your wants, your needs were subdued swiftly,
the moment you entered me.
And I hate you. I spit on you.
I hope you burn in hell.
Your a thief!
I hope you burn eternal in return for my soul you stole!
My stomach now swoll,
And any day now will be empty once more.
A shell of what it used to be.
So Enclose me! Encase me!
Erase that part of me!
Erase the empty hole ,
the part of me that now will never feel whole.
Erase me...
What do I have left to me?
No  pride, no dignity....
Mourning  the loss of this  innocent child .
Soon to be born unto me, just furthers my misery.
Yes please, turn the knife even further.
Please deepen these wounds that scar me eternally ,
Internally.
Abandon me.
Just leave me be..
To stand alone on the jagged rocks,
Amidst the murkey black waters of my own mind.
What little of you, you made mine.
And what was mine, you then took for you.
We are now one in the same? No.
Are we not?.... No!
NO!! *******! I spit on you!
Because I can no longer see the difference
Between me and you,
All I see is you!
And I hate you!
You, the no-face
Who maimed me with a violence that simply can't be erased.
You who left me crumpled there,
Gasping, fighting  for air.
Left me with a hole that now I can never fill.
Not even with a prescription pill.
Just take it! ******* take it all,
Just let me fall.
Because I can not keep pace
With this direction you've chosen my life take.
This is all because of you!
You no name, no face, no heart bearing *******...
I spit in your face!
And though any physical pain will one day cease,
And these wounds, they to will close.
Inevitably in the end,
I 'll  be forgotten by everyone .
but me....I will forever remember.

Like shiny new yesterdays, my pain will be renewed..
A pain I know now,rather intimately.
The very same pain that follow me now...endlessly.
Constantly taunting, reminding, and haunting me.  
The girl I was before you tore my innocence from me.
Washed it clean of me...
leaving me on the shores of morbid curiousity.
This all I've left of me.
nothing but questions left to circle around me
Making me  dizzy.
Hopelessness run throughout my entirety.
I am simply treading water.
Taking up space.
Another victim without a case.
Insomnia settles into the vacant space you placed.
Leaves me feeling even more insane.
You may be the death of me.
Nothing but my ashes to settle
Along the bottom of a vase,
As you Enclose me.
Encase me in a vase.
Erase me.
Place my body 6 feet beneath thee
And one day I pray,  peace be  restored to me.
So that you can no longer hurt me.
Free me...
Of constantly  counting the hours of the days,
That may be left to me.
Days marked by the number of breaths I take.
I count every tear that streak.
Take it. Take it all from me!
And then be gone from me!
Have you not taken enough of me already?
Have you not taken everything possible you could from me ?Take it!
You can have anything... if only I can go back.
Back to the old me.
Back before you ***** me....
                                                     M. Adkins
© Melissa Adkins. All rights reserved

I don't want a "friend"
I don't want to get ****** in the end
I don't want your shoulder
I want something colder
I want someone to pretend to "be there"
But in all actuality not even begin to care
No, I don't need a ******* hero
I just want a neutral , unawkward place to go
I really don't want your opinions or your advice
Tho, I'm sure I've numerous flaws for you to chastise
I don't care to see things from your point of view
I want fun, fake, I want flippant for now
I don't want you to  really listen to a **** thing I say
Because I don't want your theories to get in the way
I don't want your hopes and dreams explained to me
I just want someone to humor me for Gawds sake
Please do not try and understand or analyze me
I'd  be much more comfortable, if you just use and abuse me
You know, someone to really kick me while I'm down
Drag my tired *** around, you know, something physical
I'm so numb, many believe Me to be unemotional
I no longer stand to correct them
Hell, at least  they've something to believe in
Inflict harm upon me
Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
I don't want your Gawed ****** empathy or you to
"Feel my pain"
Can't you hear me? I want you to be the very source of my pain
I want someone I can blame
Someone who doesn't give a **** all the same
I want you to look away, walk away, stay the **** away
You to, can pretend my inner psyche is not at all in disarray
No, I don't want a caring or understanding touch
Jesus! I am not asking for all that much
I don't want you to give me your heart
I really don't want any part
All I want is a sympathetic acquaintance
Doesn't that make sense?


© Melissa Adkins. All rights reserved

Until wolfs light, I will be counting sheep

Hell, I'll even pray,to Gods I dont keep

What keeps me awake at night?

Nothing

Nothing more then your stinky lingering elastic vowels

That stretch themselves through my head & warn me again, "Scream, I ******* dare you."

Because a spectacle of suffering, corrupts us all.....

Right?

over and over again, I hear your approaching boot heels

I know that scratchy voice of yours and how it feels

poking at my back, when it says "The dark has no teeth."

And they ask me why I cant sleep?

I dont know how to  feel.

Safe or spared?

Knowing this little one and I,

have been so violently paired.

No. What keeps me awake?

The fear of what else you may take.

While men like you run those streets,

I imagine I'll always be counting sheep.....

                                                        



© Melissa Adkins. All rights reserved

It's 3-19-15
3 years ago today, you took your own life
You told everyone that you'd give up your kids, over your dead body
Nobody thought you meant it literally
But you did
The day we buried you was the day you had to sign custody of your kids
Over to the State...
With no chance of getting them back
I miss you
I cry for you
I mourn your death
You meant the world to me
You were my uncle
My best friend

Today, 3-19-15, I can't have you
Oh, how much I wish you were here
I write letters to you
And always end them in
I will see you soon

R.I.P Dicky Adkins 3/19/12

I am left shaken
I'm simply wrecked inside
For you there who nestles
Just beneath my rib cage
We haven't  quite met yet
Tho any day I hope  to
And I already miss you
And apart from the constant aching
Apart from this empty longing,
I hurt beyond all expression
I'll forever miss you
And your hiccups
And all your "stretching"
Yes, I know I torture myself
But I can not cap this heartache
I will hate the distance between us
But I would walk a gazillion miles
To close the gap between us
A million more
To return me to before
Should ever I be made again to choose
Baby I would choose you

© 3 years ago, Melissa Adkins

And this song fell out from my father's lips:
Of boys learning to drop the corpse of their
parents' bodies on the high mountain of Jos,
Of  girls who came home learning to place fingers on the holes that evil men dug;
Of children learning to empty themselves
With lies & truths about what happened now, about what happened in Benue and pleateu,
Of those stories that escaped through our mother's nostrils as she became past tense.

And this wants to make you leave your body
to a place where lost is freedom to enjoy.
yesterday When teeth fell from our mouth,
We threw them to the zinc for tomorrow.
We never knew they became dancers in
a battle field, making glittering white war.
We wired our way into abstract destructions
We bottled our knowledge to the river bank.
I am not alone in this nightmare of want
When my country men became object of
ridicule, I was never among them to core.
treasure this thawn into dirge of goodness.


Help me knit this morning with a song,
trace Adkins into Wooten of silence
We archived our routes to another smothering
Snow in red places before dawn.
Help me gather the laughters of those girls
Help me tell mother that sin is not a reproach
Tell father that Satan was an angel of light
Not a mystical mysteries as told by all.
If Allah allows the vehicles of my thought
To decamp from the camp of Moses.

When you get to Lagos, don't allow a bus to
carry you pass those graveyard called bridge.
a trailer fell from one of them at Ojuelegba
and another one fell in Ibadan without the express.  There we saw a boy' tale told in
Fe-Buhari in pains & gory and eel mystery.
He carried a song on his shoulder to crying
Forgetting there on the express way has his father's last prayer points & footprints...
There he died also hoping to pick his
father's dust groaning without a comforter.

I whispered these words in secret
Tell nobody that somebody told you the body
of the storyline before the ****** erupted.
Till everything becomes breeze, I am not
still a poet but a messenger of the gods.


©John Chizoba Vincent
TheBoyHero

Baja California along the coast,
a little fishing village Loretto

White Seashell, Sand
I walked along the beach

Everybody was out fishing
to get the catch of the day

I Decided to cool off in the sea
Water Waste high slow Delicate stokes

The taste of salt in the air
Schools of fish everywhere

Bumping, kissing all over my body
Passing by calmly without fear

First, I was afraid I couldn’t move
Until I realized they weren’t piranhas

I enjoyed the majestic
Ambience of the moment

I swim with the fishes
Staying among them

As soon as they came
They were gone


I want to thank Ben Noah Suresh
Who wrote a poem
“I swimming with the Fishes”
His poem made me think of this vacation
Memory. Some people will never know the sensation of having hundreds of fishes bump into you all over your body. and will allow you to swim along without scattering everywhere.



Inspired songs
1) put your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee by Ocean 1971 lyric video

2) Mind on fishin’' by Trace Adkins
( this one will make you laugh)