jennifer-staples - Hello Poetry

It's the way I look at you The way you smile and your dimples form The way your eyes look so genuine when you look at me The energy you bring around It's the way you make me feel When I hug you I never want to let go I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I hug you You're everything to me I couldn't cope without you You're my best friend You know what I've been through You know how bad I get And how low I think of myself But you stick around You hold me down when I want so badly to fly high in the sky You listen when nodody else does You care when nobody gives a crap I wish so badly that I could just reach over and move that random strand of hair from your face I wish I could just watch you listen to music and zone out all day I wish I could just kiss you and tell you everything will be okay I wish I could lay in bed and hold you until you stop crying I wish I could be the one to make you happy But then it would be awkward I wish I could tell you everything I wish I had the nerves to tell you... I have a secret crush.... On you

0

Dec 15, 2015

Dec 15, 2015 at 7:42 PM UTC

jennifer-staples

Secret Crush

It's the way I look at you The way you smile and your dimples form The way your eyes look so genuine when you look at me The energy you bring around It's the way you make me feel When I hug you I never want to let go I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I hug you You're everything to me I couldn't cope without you You're my best friend You know what I've been through You know how bad I get And how low I think of myself But you stick around You hold me down when I want so badly to fly high in the sky You listen when nodody else does You care when nobody gives a crap I wish so badly that I could just reach over and move that random strand of hair from your face I wish I could just watch you listen to music and zone out all day I wish I could just kiss you and tell you everything will be okay I wish I could lay in bed and hold you until you stop crying I wish I could be the one to make you happy But then it would be awkward I wish I could tell you everything I wish I had the nerves to tell you... I have a secret crush.... On you

26

Everything was great once I felt complete with you I could rely on you for anything I could talk to you about it all You were the one… I thought you would be different I thought you’d never leave You were no different You left just like everybody else did I had a future with you, While you have a future with her You were my everything MY LIFE I should get rid of your pictures Get rid of all our messages Get rid of your number I should get over you But I can’t… You are everywhere I go You’re in my dreams You’re in my thoughts You’re still singing that song to me You’re still talking to me I shouldn’t want you to be in my life I shouldn’t want to talk to you I shouldn’t miss you I shouldn’t love you BUT I DO!!

0

Dec 3, 2015

Dec 3, 2015 at 7:48 PM UTC

jennifer-staples

Our Sad Song

Everything was great once I felt complete with you I could rely on you for anything I could talk to you about it all You were the one… I thought you would be different I thought you’d never leave You were no different You left just like everybody else did I had a future with you, While you have a future with her You were my everything MY LIFE I should get rid of your pictures Get rid of all our messages Get rid of your number I should get over you But I can’t… You are everywhere I go You’re in my dreams You’re in my thoughts You’re still singing that song to me You’re still talking to me I shouldn’t want you to be in my life I shouldn’t want to talk to you I shouldn’t miss you I shouldn’t love you BUT I DO!!

28

I remember fighting with my sister throughout my life. More times then not, did it end with the words she always said, "I wish I was an only child." or "Life would be so much easier without you." I remember always saying.... If you want to be any only child, you can make it happen I grab the biggest knife we own, and press it to the skin above my heart "If you want it to happen, push it in a little harder." I can do better and be better I'm not worth any of their time I'm a burden to someone They're all better off if I were dead My mother should have gotten rid of me before the problem started Thoughts like these ran through my head so often Congratulations, you're the first to know that I don't want sympathy, I just want someone to know Just in case these memories consume me Just in case something happens to me Just in case the demons in my skin come itching back If nothing happens, at least they're no longer being shot through my veins like a drug Someone else knows Now what you do with it is ultimately up to you I can only ask you don't judge me My thoughts, My fears, My anxiety They all still consume me I'll never be anybody I'll never do what I need to do I'll disappoint you I'll mess up everything I'll make you sick to think I'm yours I'll annoy you I'll make you mad I'll make things awkward just by being around I'll make everything better I promise I'll mark my not so empty canvas with crimson red I'll push it in a little bit deeper this time I'll solve everything..... I PROMISE!

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Nov 30, 2015

Nov 30, 2015 at 8:24 PM UTC

jennifer-staples

I promise

I remember fighting with my sister throughout my life. More times then not, did it end with the words she always said, "I wish I was an only child." or "Life would be so much easier without you." I remember always saying.... If you want to be any only child, you can make it happen I grab the biggest knife we own, and press it to the skin above my heart "If you want it to happen, push it in a little harder." I can do better and be better I'm not worth any of their time I'm a burden to someone They're all better off if I were dead My mother should have gotten rid of me before the problem started Thoughts like these ran through my head so often Congratulations, you're the first to know that I don't want sympathy, I just want someone to know Just in case these memories consume me Just in case something happens to me Just in case the demons in my skin come itching back If nothing happens, at least they're no longer being shot through my veins like a drug Someone else knows Now what you do with it is ultimately up to you I can only ask you don't judge me My thoughts, My fears, My anxiety They all still consume me I'll never be anybody I'll never do what I need to do I'll disappoint you I'll mess up everything I'll make you sick to think I'm yours I'll annoy you I'll make you mad I'll make things awkward just by being around I'll make everything better I promise I'll mark my not so empty canvas with crimson red I'll push it in a little bit deeper this time I'll solve everything..... I PROMISE!

43

Life is not easy like almost everyone thinks it is. My mom always told me that life isn’t easy, kids just have it easy. I didn’t believe her, I fought with her all the time, and sometimes it got physical. I hated living with my mom, and I wanted to have my own rules, like almost every teenager. So I started leaving and going with my friends, and running the streets all day and all night, not going to school, not even caring what I was missing, I just knew I was free. I had no rules, no consequences, and nothing going for myself. I was a goody-goody, I did the right things, I went to school, I didn’t do anything to harm myself. I remember those days, and I thrived for a do-over. I've heard things, that I wouldn't dream of repeating to my mother. I've seen things that no other person should have to see. I've seen people doing things that I prayed every night, that I wouldn't get caught up in. I worried that I would make all the wrong choices, and mess my entire life up, beyond return. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I guess my mom was right. School had no value to me anymore. I didn't want to be in this town I'm supposed to call "home”. I didn't want to be anywhere. I bluntly admitted to my mother that I was contemplating suicide. My mother made me move with my dad in Buckfield, and I went. I went back to my moms for the balloon festival. But, two days before the festival, my dad made me come back to his house. I told my dad that I was going back to my moms, him and his girlfriend freaked out. They started restraining me from leaving, by grabbing the collar of my shirt, and therefore choking me. My dad pushed me to the floor, sat on top of me, shoving my face into the floor, and was screaming “What kind of drugs are you on?” I’m going to be 100% honest, I have been verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. I’ve been slapped across the face by my mom’s ex-husband, on multiple occasions. He’s almost given me a concussion, from shoving me against the wall. Like I have said, life is not easy… Life is not fair. But, had I not been through everything that I have been through, I wouldn’t be the way I am. I may have gone through hard times, a lot of them at that, but it’s made me strong and independent. I’ve had some really good friends who support and love me, I have had really good family friends that have helped me be who I am today. I am now really close to my mom, I am home all the time, I go to school all day everyday. In the past couple months, I turned my life around. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Life is not easy that way, you need school, you need friends and family. As much as you may think you don’t need family, you do. It’s is what helps you get through your everyday struggle.

0

Jun 9, 2015

Jun 9, 2015 at 8:17 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

Life's Not Easy

Life is not easy like almost everyone thinks it is. My mom always told me that life isn’t easy, kids just have it easy. I didn’t believe her, I fought with her all the time, and sometimes it got physical. I hated living with my mom, and I wanted to have my own rules, like almost every teenager. So I started leaving and going with my friends, and running the streets all day and all night, not going to school, not even caring what I was missing, I just knew I was free. I had no rules, no consequences, and nothing going for myself. I was a goody-goody, I did the right things, I went to school, I didn’t do anything to harm myself. I remember those days, and I thrived for a do-over. I've heard things, that I wouldn't dream of repeating to my mother. I've seen things that no other person should have to see. I've seen people doing things that I prayed every night, that I wouldn't get caught up in. I worried that I would make all the wrong choices, and mess my entire life up, beyond return. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I guess my mom was right. School had no value to me anymore. I didn't want to be in this town I'm supposed to call "home”. I didn't want to be anywhere. I bluntly admitted to my mother that I was contemplating suicide. My mother made me move with my dad in Buckfield, and I went. I went back to my moms for the balloon festival. But, two days before the festival, my dad made me come back to his house. I told my dad that I was going back to my moms, him and his girlfriend freaked out. They started restraining me from leaving, by grabbing the collar of my shirt, and therefore choking me. My dad pushed me to the floor, sat on top of me, shoving my face into the floor, and was screaming “What kind of drugs are you on?” I’m going to be 100% honest, I have been verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. I’ve been slapped across the face by my mom’s ex-husband, on multiple occasions. He’s almost given me a concussion, from shoving me against the wall. Like I have said, life is not easy… Life is not fair. But, had I not been through everything that I have been through, I wouldn’t be the way I am. I may have gone through hard times, a lot of them at that, but it’s made me strong and independent. I’ve had some really good friends who support and love me, I have had really good family friends that have helped me be who I am today. I am now really close to my mom, I am home all the time, I go to school all day everyday. In the past couple months, I turned my life around. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Life is not easy that way, you need school, you need friends and family. As much as you may think you don’t need family, you do. It’s is what helps you get through your everyday struggle.

3

I'm done, I can't stand life anymore... I can't sit around watching my life fly away, and there being nothing I can do to fix it, because I've already thrown the rope too far way for me to grab it again. School has no value to me anymore. I don't want to be in this town I'm supposed to call "home"... I don't want to be anywhere. If you things I've written before were bad, here's the worst thing, I have and I am contemplating suicide... There I've finally admitted it to the world... Now you can go and tell everyone how sick and ****** in the head I am...

0

May 7, 2015

May 7, 2015 at 8:55 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

Dear Whomever Reads This

I'm done, I can't stand life anymore... I can't sit around watching my life fly away, and there being nothing I can do to fix it, because I've already thrown the rope too far way for me to grab it again. School has no value to me anymore. I don't want to be in this town I'm supposed to call "home"... I don't want to be anywhere. If you things I've written before were bad, here's the worst thing, I have and I am contemplating suicide... There I've finally admitted it to the world... Now you can go and tell everyone how sick and ****** in the head I am...

1

My love for him confuses me I love him like a brother, a best friend, and more I love him in ways I can't even begin to explain Because I don't even know how to He's my everything, I'd be lost without him I need him in my life I'm just scared he'll leave again I want him, yes But I don't at the same time I love him so much I'm love confused

0

Apr 17, 2015

Apr 17, 2015 at 8:56 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

Love Confused

My love for him confuses me I love him like a brother, a best friend, and more I love him in ways I can't even begin to explain Because I don't even know how to He's my everything, I'd be lost without him I need him in my life I'm just scared he'll leave again I want him, yes But I don't at the same time I love him so much I'm love confused

11

I forgive you because I can't forget you and your love has become essential so when I say you aren't on my mind I can swear it's all lie because even with all you've done you're still the ******* one the one in my dreams, the only one I look forward to see the face I still am trying to find amongst the crowd laying on the floor here I am, letting it all out where the hell are you now? I mean I know you were never actually here but loosing you is still my biggest fear and with every ******* tear I pray to a god, I don't even know is there that one day, you'll just be completely gone, out, disappear because I know you're the single worst thing for me out in this crazy world but in twirl, you've got me rapped up in this crazy dream it's what you make me to believe where all I think I need is your touch, your attention all the things you'll never give to me because I know what I am, to you, who you see when you look at me. I'm not enough. and the sooner I realize that the better off I'll be because even though it hurts I'm glad you know how to leave more like slam a door in my face shoot me down with all your pain. lock me in this nightmare where all it does is rain but, no, I gotta lock that all away put a smile on my face because people expect more of me than to see what you took away but can't you see? the real damage that you've done doesn't lay within your words but the within your actions and you run. run away from every problem every day honey, I'm sorry to say it but not everything goes your way it's all good now until you put the drink down until you let it all come in then your pretty little self will realize that you didn't win I know you, and I know you want love and all these girls you pick up they aren't enough. and you know that. but don't expect any more love from me because what you see now is not what i will forever be someday, I will move on and forget what you've made me out to be because you don't matter never have, never will and I'll never understand how you dropped me so easily but I guess the past is in the past and I should let you go wipe the tears off my face because you shouldn't be worth **** to me but you are, and until I see that, believe what I can say so easily seeing your face, hearing your voice, is still gonna **** me. but with every day, every minute I see a little more a little clearer what can I say though? I can't regret you, I was warned. but I didn't care all I saw was the good in you because that's what I like to see I block everything else out because the good is all I want to believe but I gotta stop that, see things, for how they really are bottle it all away some more mend my open scars keep you in my poems now, in my dream world, lost so I just guess, finally, after all that you've done I'm doing what's right and cutting you off.

0

jennifer-staples

Apr 10, 2015

Apr 10, 2015 at 8:26 AM UTC

KissedByDepression

My Rhyme to You

I forgive you because I can't forget you and your love has become essential so when I say you aren't on my mind I can swear it's all lie because even with all you've done you're still the ******* one the one in my dreams, the only one I look forward to see the face I still am trying to find amongst the crowd laying on the floor here I am, letting it all out where the hell are you now? I mean I know you were never actually here but loosing you is still my biggest fear and with every ******* tear I pray to a god, I don't even know is there that one day, you'll just be completely gone, out, disappear because I know you're the single worst thing for me out in this crazy world but in twirl, you've got me rapped up in this crazy dream it's what you make me to believe where all I think I need is your touch, your attention all the things you'll never give to me because I know what I am, to you, who you see when you look at me. I'm not enough. and the sooner I realize that the better off I'll be because even though it hurts I'm glad you know how to leave more like slam a door in my face shoot me down with all your pain. lock me in this nightmare where all it does is rain but, no, I gotta lock that all away put a smile on my face because people expect more of me than to see what you took away but can't you see? the real damage that you've done doesn't lay within your words but the within your actions and you run. run away from every problem every day honey, I'm sorry to say it but not everything goes your way it's all good now until you put the drink down until you let it all come in then your pretty little self will realize that you didn't win I know you, and I know you want love and all these girls you pick up they aren't enough. and you know that. but don't expect any more love from me because what you see now is not what i will forever be someday, I will move on and forget what you've made me out to be because you don't matter never have, never will and I'll never understand how you dropped me so easily but I guess the past is in the past and I should let you go wipe the tears off my face because you shouldn't be worth **** to me but you are, and until I see that, believe what I can say so easily seeing your face, hearing your voice, is still gonna **** me. but with every day, every minute I see a little more a little clearer what can I say though? I can't regret you, I was warned. but I didn't care all I saw was the good in you because that's what I like to see I block everything else out because the good is all I want to believe but I gotta stop that, see things, for how they really are bottle it all away some more mend my open scars keep you in my poems now, in my dream world, lost so I just guess, finally, after all that you've done I'm doing what's right and cutting you off.

111

Here I go again, pushing people away... Somehow, in someway I always do it I push I shove I scream Out of fear and anger I always get rid of the good people And replace them with the bad The kind of people, that make me this way The kind that make me scared to love And make me scared to be loved The fear that their love is fake I guess maybe this fear is from my father All the times he said he loved me Then he vanished for months, years even Maybe he's the reason I am scared to love and be loved...

0

Apr 2, 2015

Apr 2, 2015 at 8:18 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

Pushing, Shoving, Screaming

Here I go again, pushing people away... Somehow, in someway I always do it I push I shove I scream Out of fear and anger I always get rid of the good people And replace them with the bad The kind of people, that make me this way The kind that make me scared to love And make me scared to be loved The fear that their love is fake I guess maybe this fear is from my father All the times he said he loved me Then he vanished for months, years even Maybe he's the reason I am scared to love and be loved...

16

Everything's getting all fuzzy, It's like I'm in fast forward. I have no music playing, Yet I hear music playing in my head. It's insane, Wait or is me who's going insane?

0

Mar 25, 2015

Mar 25, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

It's In My Head

Everything's getting all fuzzy, It's like I'm in fast forward. I have no music playing, Yet I hear music playing in my head. It's insane, Wait or is me who's going insane?

6

"I love you with all my heart and soul" I hope you know that when I say that, I'm not lying And I'm not saying it out of loneliness like most people do But I truly mean it Everybody can see my love for you Just by looking into my eyes Just by the way I look at you Just by the way I talk about you Can you see it like they do?

0

Mar 19, 2015

Mar 19, 2015 at 8:42 AM UTC

jennifer-staples

Can You See It Like They Do?

"I love you with all my heart and soul" I hope you know that when I say that, I'm not lying And I'm not saying it out of loneliness like most people do But I truly mean it Everybody can see my love for you Just by looking into my eyes Just by the way I look at you Just by the way I talk about you Can you see it like they do?

9