Entangled in action that I knew was wrong
Yet plead ignorance to what’s going on,
As the song I’m singing hurts my ears,
Fills me with fears that I promised would not distress me again.

Again

Again

Until another us reaches another end.
Speeding up now.
I know not the whys, just the hows.
Ive seen inside and there’s no pride, just a ****** reality to hide the lies
Or so-called half-truths: whole lies disguised in demise,
Hidden behind my dark, sultry, convincing eyes.

So now, for truth.
Truth I must share as proof that I loved you,
Love me:

There was nothing above you
But light and learning which stunted this yearning for greedy pleasures,
At least for a while,
Hid behind a smile.
Buried at the back of a shared cupboard,
Nestled at the top of a tree in a secret wood
That I’ve struggled to find again
So, no wonder you couldn’t.
I knew that i shouldn’t.
Not just for us, but for me, for my own sanity
I had lost a-aaall clarity,
Needed a man,
His touch,
You see?

Touching.

Fleeting.

Empty strokes from a boy I knew no more,
Scurried down stairs to call you curled up on the floor.
Cried into your tee shirt as he closed the door.
I’m not going to tell you any more.
I know you’ve played it in your mind a hundred times already.
Before, please believe our love was pure.

Ringing

Pick up... pick up...
Hello?
Go to the hospital.
I'm good. Don't worry about me. I'm good.
Allen, go to the hospital.
I'll get better. Stop nagging me.
You won't get better if you don't go to the hospital and get looked at.
I'm not going. I can't afford that.
You have insurance. They want to help you. I promise.
I don't have money for that. Hospitals are only for rich, white people.
Allen, go to the hospital. You are worrying me! Please just go.
No. I will get better on my own.
You need help, Allen.
No I don't. I'm good.
Allen, you don't even want help, do you? You don't even want to get better at all..
Emma, I'm fine. It will all be okay in time.
That was your point wasn't it? To make it all okay? But for who, Allen? Just okay for you? Because if you leave, I won't be okay. Please get help..
I don't want help and I don't need it anyways. I will be gone soon and everything will be better. You'll move on. Everyone will. No one cares about me anyways.
... You think no one cares about you? Allen, I love you. And you want to leave? Because you think no one cares? I care. I care about you so much. I always see those cuts on your wrists even when you always wear longsleeves because I think you are a little more comfortable around me than everyone else. I see those cuts and think *Why does he do that to himself? Is it my fault? Is there anything I can do to make him realize that he doesn't have to do that? I really try to be there for him, but maybe I am not enough for him to be happy But I still try. Even though I think that, I try to help. And I don't do that because I pity you. I do that because I love you. I love you, Allen.
... Emma, please stop.
No, Allen. I won't stop. You need to get help. I can't lose you. What about your mom? She needs you. And your little sister? She needs you. Do you want to leave your family?
EMMA STOP! I HAVE TO GO!
NO YOU DON'T ALLEN! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO!
Emma.. you are the best person I know.
Allen what's happening are you okay?
Yea... Emmmmma It'ss aaall okayyy
Allen, please get help, your words are slurring.
...
Allen can you hear me?
I loooove youu Emmmmaa. My prettyyyy Emmmma.
ALLEN STAY WITH ME! PLEASE DON'T GO!
...
ALLEN
...

*Dial-tone