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Wolfey Mar 2013
Fresh red scars lay upon the right side of my stomach.
They weren't too large.
Weren't too deep.
12 lines that  weren't perfectly horizontal.
They let me feel.
Feel the feeling of something else than nothing.

Sore.

I cring as I place my purple tank top on.
Covering the crime that I commit more than once.
During the day I don't even remember them.
Until I place a binder against them.
They scream in pain, I wince just slightly.
Then soon welcoming the pain, yet its comfortable.

Relief.

Even though its not the right way to handle things.
Can you blame me for still wanting to feel?
My life has been a struggle for my entire life.
At first, I thought there was no other way to handle the pain.
Thought I just had to deal and let myself suffer.
But then an idea clicked in my messed up mind.

Razor.

The first time it met my skin, I was nervous.
Scared to see the blood rush down my arm and drip .
It hurt at first, my teeth clenched.
But soon the numb came.
And that's when I knew.
I had made a

Friend.
Wolfey Mar 2013
Live in my world,
Watch through my eyes.
Hear the thoughts
and listen to the lies ..
To feel the pain and agony which consumes my soul.
The dead,
cold heart in my chest.
That will soon lay me to rest
Wolfey Mar 2013
Have you ever felt yourself breaking?
Knowing it was coming
And there was nothing you could do about it.
You feel yourself sinking closer,
deeper into the darkness..
You just feel depressed.
For no apparent reason!
Why?
Why do we feel like this?
Why do you feel like we want to die.
That we are ready to give up.
There's no hope for happiness anymore.
For heavens sake we barely remember what laughing feels like!!
Let alone happiness..
Wolfey Mar 2013
The warm water rushes through your hair.
You look up,
seeing the sun glimmer across the surface of the water.
Your body propels upward,
breaking through the water and into the cold air.
You feel free.
You want to take the chance,
go near shore.
You have nothing to lose,
so you swim.
Your mouth and under covered by the aqua water.
You see men,
working.
Walking.
You look at my your pearly white tail.
You lean on your palm,
sighing.
You could watch them all day.
Until a guy caught your eye.
Dark hair,
and a pair of dark eyes to match.
His hair lays infront of his face.
You watch him closely,
the way his muscles flex when he picks up some type of square.
A bax ?
No No .
Box! That's it.
You were zoning out when his eyes moved towards you.
You gasped,
wide mouth.
His eyes widen.
You slowly back away,
and when you see him walk closer to the edge,
you swim away.
Your tail flapping water at his face.
You went lower in the water,
you could see the faint figure of his face.
When  you said you had nothing to lose..
I guess that didn't mean that was your heart !
Wolfey Mar 2013
I want you close.
Want your warm body next to mine.
I want to taste your lips.
Want your skin against mine.
I want our bodies to collide,
be one.
Wolfey Mar 2013
Your brownish-green eyes are my favorite.
They hold me in a trance,
make my heart flutter.
I want to hate you ..
Your browinsh-green eyes are ones that players behold.
I hate that whenever I'm in a crowd,
your always the one I first look for.
Whenever your next to me,
I have to fight myself to not take a glance.
I hate the way you cause me so much agony and pain yet,
you always occupy my mind.
When I try to date someone else,
they remind me of you.
But now I remember.
You never cared.
I was only a game.
And sadly,
you won.
I'm dying slowly,
using my energy to keep you near.
You hurt be dearly darling.
Your the reason for my tears.
The reason for the scars on my body.
It pains me to even look into your brownish-green eyes.
Because I know that if I do,
I will fall once again...
Wolfey Mar 2013
I can't explain any of the pain I go through.
Either its too much,
or you wouldn't understand.
Probably the second one.
I'm a complicated person.
I get confused easily,
about MANY things.
Sometimes,
I can be the happiest person on earth,
and the next second,
I'm all depressed.
It's just the way I am.
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