I like to think of what it would be like to be loved.
Like REAL love.
No stupid,
one day,
crazy,
love.
I want the real thing.
Or maybe just a relationship with someone,
that will write me silly love poems,
play fight with me,
call me beautiful instead of hot.
Everyone says that you need love.
But what if it doesn't want you?
What then?
I've given up on the thought of love.
The thought that someone could love me,
make me feel like I'm worth something.
I've been hurt too much.
Wayyy to much.
So how can I trust myself when I let myself go through the pain ..
It's simple.
I don't.

I want to be left alone.
To cry,
to sleep.
To be left alone with my feelings.
I wouldn't have people asking me what's wrong,
wouldn't have to explain myself.
Some people say being alone isn't good,
Well I disagree.
Being alone,
helps you understand your feelings,
clear your mind.
It's peaceful and quiet.
That's why I prefer being alone.

I want to fight.
For my friends,
my family.
But I'm not strong enough.
Never will be.

The best thing to do instead of complaining is be silent.
Well, that's what I've been taught.
When people ask you what's wrong,
they really don't care.
They just want you to think that.
Make you tell them everything.
Then use it against you.
I keep what I want to say inside,
sometimes,
I only say the little things.
That really don't matter.
I've thought of being mute,  
to never speak again.
I wouldn't have to say what I feel,
wouldn't have to put my feelings out there.
That would make things so much easier.
For me.
For everyone.

I'd wish you'd see me at home.
When I look my best.
My shirt tight,
that pushes up my *****.
When my eyes look naughty
And mishevious.
When my curves pop out the way you like it.
When I walk around in my boy shorts,
giving my **** a cute and **** look.
I could play rough or play it gentle.
I just want to be looked at in that way.
That's all.

If only you could see what your doing to me.
You bring me to my knees,
begging for you.
If you could only see the way I love you.
The way I stand by your side,
making sure your okay.
Wipe away the dirt when you fall ..
So tell me darling,
Why can't you see that I'm the one whose been here all along?