Consume my heart.
Eat it raw with tender bites,
Chew it up and hack it up
Create the ****** mess you always do:
It is all yours,
My tantalizing tyrant.

To me you are the exquisite bubbles of foam atop the sea
A Venus amongst the many Pandoras in this universe-
'tis your lovely face that showed your bloodline to me
Who, caught in its rays, had to abandon any converse.

Surely you have a clue on what you do to poor ol’ me
And know that your smile, alike a pearl-white moon,
Was made to long for when not out for all to see
A guiding light to look for during our trip in life's lagoon.

Honestly, there must be a dazzling sun somewhere on your inside
Because its lovely heat mirrors in your warmth and bright green eyes.

You appear in my thoughts like sand is accompanied by the tide
Sometimes absent but always bound to me by scientific ties.

Excuse me, my Darling, but that all just had to be said,
You inspire me to dance there where Shakespeare has tread.

The right way to assess it
is to say that it isn't broken.
It is not broken but sanded
sanded by the sands of time.

Sanded in a rough manner
By a bad technician with no clue.
Cutting in it here and there
Leaving traces in time.

Some parts have been redone
Rehashed, remade and mapped again.
Some parts were just left
Left as the gaping wounds of time.

I guess the right way to explain
is to say all the normal things happened.
But then there was a bit extra
that nobody asked for.

It is as I lay between these sheets,
that my heart realizes your absence.
It feels like calm water under a full moon,
whereas our life is on so many different wavelengths.

It is as I feel the cold next to me,
that I miss the warmth you brought in discussion.
I miss the electricity your glance encased,
because it seems like an endless night.

It is as I touch the silky fabric around me,
that my dull nerve endings are noted.
I realize you always kept me alert for everything,
You kept me on tiptoes.

It is as I lay between these sheets,
that my heart finally realizes
it wants you tangled in these sheets.

Because in all honesty, if you would consider, even for a minute, my being, I would stop in my tracks. Stop in my tracks and go back every step of the way. I would run back through storms and hurricanes, through all the hurt and problems. I would make my way back.

If you would turn around and tell me, message me, I would find a way to get back home to you. If you would shout it to the universe, I’m confident I would find out and run back into your arms. I would somehow realize and come back.
I would find out, and I wouldn’t doubt for a minute.

I wouldn’t doubt for a second.

I wouldn’t doubt at all.

I would take that aeroplane back. I would take a boat, bus, horse or whatever to get back home to you. Because for me you are home, when you are who you are, it feels right. And I might be a sap , because I would fly to the ends of the earth for a glimmer or even a millisecond of us, but so be it. I would do anything for the experience of this feeling being reciprocated. For the knowledge that what I thought we had was not my imagination or my desperate need for a man. No, if you would turn around and face me to tell me it was me, I would not doubt.
Because for me it is you. I would fly back for that. For your small talk, our fights, our shared looks, our shared smiles. For the feeling of your hand on my back, for the feeling of your lips on mine. Because as far as I can see, that was what was meant to happen. You were supposed to hug me goodbye. I was supposed to hang on, you would deepen the hug. I would bury my head in the crook of your neck and you were supposed to push me against a wall and kiss me. But then I would have to leave but at least I would have my answer because you did something.

Except you didn’t.

Except you didn’t, and I got a weird one-armed hug and an awkward conversation that I still can’t really understand. Now I still don’t know, and I hate myself for not telling, not asking. I hate myself for all the time that has passed.

But during all the time I was waiting, am waiting, I understood one thing. One simple thing.

I love you, and will love you for a long time. And if you would ever tell me you missed me and loved me too, I would honestly take the next flight over. I would land and kiss you senseless, regardless of the fact that you were supposed to make the first move. Regardless of the fact that I like my men dominant.
This is the truth. If you would honestly tell me you loved me all that time, I would.

Because I would jump at the chance to

be with you

And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

There's always a point

Where you feel that something is wrong. A point where you (think you) realize that the other party views you through different eyes. A moment where you wonder what it is that makes you the lonely swan, or if you even are a swan and not the duckling. A moment where you wonder what it is that makes you so different. Where you wonder if it is the books, the love for make up or maybe the love for sowing.

That moment where you wonder if your colour will ever be noticed among all the other kites in the sky.

Always that moment.

When you ask yourself if maybe it's you, not your personality, but you,
how you flirt or how you talk or how you laugh or if you're not pretty enough
If it's because of you that the one you like does not seem to recognise you
for who you are or who you could be
but does seem to like all the other lillies in the pond.

When you reach that point,
just remember:

If they go for easy,
they're not worth it anyway.