Cashiers at In-N-Out,

Friends on the phone,

Sisters on the front porch,

Vendors on the sidewalk,

Strangers at a party,

These are a few of the ones I enjoy.
Baristas at dawn,

Cousins in the kitchen,

Neighbors waving at the mailbox,

Kids chasing the ice cream truck,

These are the echoes of everyday joy.
Librarians who pause to smile,

Artists with paint-streaked hands,

Old timers on park benches,
Musicians singing off-key.

These are faces I savor in my day-to-day.

My intentions are pure, as you must know, for sure,
I dreamt I waited outside your door.
No knocking, no doorbell, no words, no more,
I listened and waited for the sound of your voice.

She giggled.
He sighed.
She fretted, and more.
He grumbled.
She whispered.
She moaned.
You laughed.

My ear drank in joy.
My mouth frowned, then smiled.
I sat there and listened for another while.

They’re happy.
She’s smiling.
He can’t help but write.
She loosens her shoulders.
He can’t be so uptight.
She’s free to be, as free as a bird.
She’s free to speak her sultry words.
You’re happy, healthy, and that means the world.

So goodbye, sweet darlin’, I'll finally let go,
And give you the distance you need to grow.
But just remember me in your quietest times,
When the world is still, and your heart softly chimes.

Try not to let show,
The shadow of doubt you still carry inside,
That weight you hold, so hard to hide.
I’ll be here, not gone, just a thought,
A whispered memory, a lesson taught.

I wanted to be a good dad,
I wanted to be a musical friend
I wanted to be a right hand helper,
I wanted to be an older sibling,
I wanted to be a gentle hand,
I wanted to be a body and mind,
I wanted to be a life-long lover.

I’ll find peace in this, I swear,
Even if it means I’m not there.
And if ever you need, if ever you roam,
Know my heart will always be home.

Lead me by your leash,

Drag me through the dirt,

Lay me down on a bed of leaves,

Cold and sharp against my skin.

Strip me of my dignity,

Make me wait for your touch.
Then, one day,

A different hand appears
,
It finds me where the shadows hide,

Where the wind bites sharp,

And I am alone.

It reaches through the quiet,

Pulling me from my cold prison.
The warmth floods in,

A door opens wide,

I am pulled inside,

Where fire crackles in a hearth,

And the hunger is fed.

Gentle hands pet and soothe,

Whispering,
"You are enough."
All I ever wanted
,
Was to be a good dog
,
Not to be broken,

Not to be left waiting,

But to be seen.

I love with all of my heart.
I kiss passionately.
I take spiders outside.
I barbecue for my friends.
I shoot guns.
I drink beer.
I listen to music.

I wander in the woods.
I get lost in my own head.
I stare off into space.
I sleep sparingly.
I enjoy cigarettes.

I work with my hands.
I try to learn new things.
I make mistakes.

I find it hard to give up,
on anything, or anyone.

we built something
in the clearing,
quiet, green,
half-shadow,
half-trust.

you wandered off
chasing light
through darker trees,
calling it
your path.

i waited,
moss growing over
the words
we never finished.

when the axe fell,
it was gentle.
silent.
already done.

now,
i walk alone
through what’s left
of us,
and still,
the forest grows.

For the wrong lover,
I’ve emptied oceans,
split the earth,
waltzed through flame,
and silenced gods.
So tell me,
why should I kneel
for anything less?

You asked for space,
said you needed to float,
to realign your stars.

But you were gravity
pulling someone else close,
while I drifted,
untethered,
alone in the dark.

So don’t call it healing.
Call it what it was,
eclipse.