I don't know what Jonas has been preaching,
There's a pigmie on the roof
And claymores in the kitchen.
I never rejected nothing
Cept when I was dazed and dazed and confused and confused
If I wanted to leave
I would use the door I saved for later
That leads out into the void.
I need to take a day away
Or breakdown and watch Casablanca all day long...
Because I thought it was a forever song I was singing,
But I'm out of tune,
And my rheumy eyes are liars,
And I want to christen my great granddaughter
But I'll be dead...
I just wanted my declarations to resound,
But in a town of disrespect
Chain link fences make for noisy neighbors.
I have every bit of it on the line for YOU.
I'll drop it,
But it will stand on end,
Like a trick quarter.
Four in the morning
Forty five caliber bullets blasting
I found myself in the backseat
Of a burned up police car.
Every thing is rotten,
Except the infantine seamstress
Who doesn't come out anymore,
Because you scar(r)ed her.
I just wish I could eat a bag of salt brine soaked
Ballpark peanuts, shells and all without having a **** stroke.
I wish I could, smoke, without Jiminy Cricket, calling my doctor,
And the red squad arriving with the straight jackets,
And the bear mace.
I can't project the rigght radiation,
I get that, but its not for lack of dying.
So this is my death letter, to be read to my reincarnated infant self
Twenty three times, by twenty four different people,
I want a life size wax model of Eeivel Keneival
To throw rice at me thrice
Once for each marriage,
But on the third throw wild rice
Because that is what I think of when I think of you.
The burglar ate my begging strips
And the ravenous dog
Is getting impatient....
I've seen the truth in the darkness of the soldier core.
Why not open the gate to abracadabra land,
Give me a list of your one thousand forms
In code of course,
And I will pay the piper
So he can finally change this doggone song.

She wields amazement and elation
Like William Wallace wields a ******* sword,
With brutality and precision,
The only decision that is certain
Is that I want her to know that she is special.
A carefully chosen photo, and a death by a thousand caresses,
It's the little things that pile up like sonderkommando stack bodies,
Until, in a holocaust of pleasure, I feel her everything completely.
In other words,
She is the one for me.

That coffin nail smile
All the while it never broke.
**** after ****, we took the plant apart,
As if the night was a chocolate cake,
And we knew it wouldn't last.
Cast of with a flick of the hand,
They were like that ash,
They never understood,
It was never any good.

But you were so good Betty.
That ***** blond mop,
The halter top,
And that coffin nail smile,
All the while, it never broke.

They say, you had it on your face still,
When they pulled you out of the wreck,
A few teeth short, bloodied,
But intact.

I beat myself up over it,
Nonstop.
Its a horror,
What four hours can do.
To have the world wrapped up in a piece of bambu,
Twenty-two records, without a single skippable song,
A plant in full bloom,
A room with a you...

I saw the *******, two months later,
Drinking himself to death,
In the Orlando international airport lounge.
******* on an olive, and sobbing on your picture.
I wanted so much to strangle him
Until his eyes popped out of his head,
Until he was dead...like he made you.
But I figured...he was doing a good enough job on his own,
So I left him alone.
I'll never forgive him though...
He's been dead twenty years now,
But I'll never forgive him...
For hitting that guardrail at ninety...
And for walking away, with a broken collar bone,
While you...
Oh Betty,
You were so ******...

Why didn't you stay that night,
Stay with me...

You didn't...

Oh, Betty...
Why did you leave us like that,
Why did you leave me...

They're setting up roadblocks,
And throwing down spike strips,
But I have a cargo that's gonna make it through!
Ain't hauling apples, chickens, or farm equipment.
I'm hauling one big honking load
Of energy and innovation.
Smokey's hot on my trail,
And he wants to" barbecue my *** in mollases"
But he ain't gonna stop me,
I'm gonna smash through those barricades.
I'm hauling a special load,
Full of wisdom and knowledge.
Passing car after car, campers and dump trucks,
But none are hauling half the load I got.
Intellectual assets weighing down my trailer,
I blow through the weigh stations.
Can't get anyone on the citizens band,
All I got is static.
So I keep on rolling down this lonesome road,
Hauling this heavy load.

Hers was the first face I found
freshman year at FSU.
I'll always remember that garish orange and green gator shirt,
and pin with the picture of a bulldog,
hanging from a noose.
I thought, oh Jeez, she's got school spirit,
and I shuddered at the image,
of cheerleaders, and sports stars, recieving preferential treatment,
but my first impression was far from the mark.

She had a smile for miles and eyes to match.
And a laugh that could shatter a frown.
And she laughed any chance she got.
The few pictures I have left of her,
she is laughing and smiling in each...
That big toothy smile,
and that magical laugh...

I remember the first time she kissed me.
I was playing my guitar on campus,
back when everybody did it,
not just pretentious *******
trying to show off.
She came up behind me,
and did the old hands over the eyes routine,
and of course I knew her voice immediately.
She turned my head and kissed me,
for the first time,
and I could hear the whispering,
and feel everyone's eyes on me,
and it felt pretty **** good.
How I wished someone had snapped a picture,
for the FSView, with the caption
" Future valedictorian kisses scruffy hippy freshman.
Entire student body baffled."

I was baffled.

She was the talk of the campus,
she spoke her mind always,
and she was active all over the campus,
doing this and that.
I asked her one day,
"Why do you make your life so complex,
when do you rest?"
and she said
"My life used to be complex, because I made it that way.
But believe it or not, with all I do around campus,
really my life is simple and fun. If I didn't love what I am doing
I would stop Will. Life is too short for complexity."

I laughed, and I thought to myself,
this woman is more complex than she lets on.

We went out for my entire freshman year,
but she graduated my sophmore year,
and she got a job in London, and she moved away that summer.
I said I would visit...I never did..
She said she would write...she did, once,
to tell me she was getting married,
she even invited me, but of course I didn't go..
She enclosed a photo of her and her fiance,
and it was clear what she saw in him..
he had a smile almost as big as hers,
and of course she was smiling too..
Of all the images burned into my memory
that picture is the one that hurts me most.

I wrote back, wishing her luck, and I told her I couldn't come,
I never heard from her again, but I prayed that night,
that he would treat her right, and if he took away her smile,
I prayed he would suffer, until he put it back.

Every time I close my eyes, I see that picture...
that smile...
I hope she's smiling, even as I write these words.

I remember your scent,
In the Gold Star hotel,
Abbey road on the record player,
I fell in love with you, through that album,
I love it nearly half as much as I do you,
Which is far more than I love myself.
I still have a copy in vinyl,
But the original warped, and wouldn't play right anymore,
I find myself listening to I want you (She's so heavy)
And I can almost feel your touch in the bass line,
Your lips in the lead guitar, your body in the drumbeat.

We come together in my mind,
And I become old flattop,
And there is Something about you,
My mind will always return to,
Until The End,
When golden slumbers fill my eyes.

Oh, Darling!
Protect me with your silver spoon,
I want to be with you under the sea.
I see no future, can't pay no rent.

Don't be quizzical Joan,
My hammer is poised,
And I shaved in the dark,
Because I don't make enough paper,
At the polythene factory.

I see you rise in my mind,
Like the sun comes,
And I become the Sun King,
And admire Her Majesty.

Don't **** your thumb and wonder.
Because,
I love you still.

I tried to reach you through the scotch fog,
But there were so many **** bodies,
And this **** VW bus is broke down again,
And the blue lights are blinding my inhibitions.

Will you touch me,
While I burn this ****** thing,
The living walls are breathing,
And I need you to guide my hands,
The ether tremble, is floating in my breath,
And If you touch me, I will explode...
Will you touch me.

Your beautiful back bites best, like a beast,
It both cripples and cures,
Your strength shines from your shoulders,
And I can't get this **** bus started without you.
And everybody is laughing and complaining.

Will,
You touch me,
She said.

But this hazey maze, of brown liquor
Has me reaching blind.

Will you touch me?

The light can't recognize your face,
My clothing is intoxicated,
And your voice shifts in and out.
Take my hand,
So we can start this **** bus.