how beautiful must one be
to torment the knight in shining armor?
the object of one's desire, if you please;
whoever you want me to be.
an attempt at sincerity,
pure honesty for the sake of it, with nothing to lose.
a futile attempt at false hope,
a convincing con;
nothing left unsaid
except the things that really mattered.
what's it like on the other side?
take me there with you, my love.
i hope that the heaving hope
fades to black like the silver screens
you are more acquainted with than most.
is it hopeless to want the good with the bad?
nothing can be black or white;
we slink and shudder amongst shades of gray,
sterling silver promises of smoke and sweet nothings.

the itch belies the sure streams within;
there's much more to this, i'm sure.
envy or jealousy,
is there much of a difference anyways?
complete admission for the sake of sincerity
ended up being the noose tied tight.
the understudy becomes the shining star
the hero; Narcissus, even.
made an example of as the jester,
the court clown.
the unlikely hero in the wake of a greek tragedy.
the lens shifts back to the shining subject.
perfect by design.
mirage or not, she bears the marks of a flawless
feast for the eyes.
echoes and steady beats
make so sweet a memory of times passed;
times one can scarcely construe as more than a fever dream
of one's wildest dreams and desires.
is there a truth to be told at all?

when you're crashing waves of chaos and your anchor meets you with solid stillness
it rocks the boat,
there is a violence to nothingness.

there's a fine line between honestly and self-destruction
treading it is not my strong suit.
where does informed consent turn into irreparable damage?

I drag the blade of this razor across my skin, coaxing out melodies like the strings of a bow across the length of a violin.

I’m a composer now; I’m the whole ******* orchestra — conductor and everything.

I direct the siren song

You were a cigarette
Insatiable, I ******
You dry,
The wisps frantically wavering
And then escaping into the air around me and
Like an ephemeral curl of smoke you were gone as soon as you appeared
You got away and all I wanted was to
Breathe you into my lungs and hold you there
The scent lingering on my fingertips when I hold you close to my lips
No one else knew how the whisper of you
Clung to my lips and my breath when
You had gone away for good.
I couldn’t hold you close enough for long
And you slipped between my fingers.
Burning bright and settling upon the earth till the
Embers themselves lost their light
And it was like you were never there in the first place

Stunned silent, with a black hole ******* out the air from my lungs.
Left in a daze, screeching tires and the
rumble of an unsympathetic engine.

It had been a year, but it felt like a universe could have been born
and destroyed in the time you were gone;
A year spent glancing into rooms and tiptoeing around crowds
expecting to see the glimmer of gold,
but being greeted by a hollow reflection,
lost, looking for Home.
Did you know that i've been waiting for you?

Stuck in a tenth circle of hell
where people who love who they shouldn't
bleed sure streams of red to write letters that will never be sent
after the ink bottle has been emptied.

The lonely bench, the empty rooms.
Do you even remember how it felt
when you would look into my eyes and smile that clueless smile?
I sure as hell do.