Outwardly my projection may seem shallow
Protection may call for many shields not always known to even the keeper of them
Truly visible days may have to come from the deepest marrow
What is obvious is still obscure to some mystery's only known to him

Placid is not the same as rigid , the goal was not to become cold
To much is  surreptitious  in the subconscious simply placing it away
Now an avid hunter for ways to play while also not becoming to bold
Deal with matters at hand as we can then pass carefully avoiding the fray

Like unopened mail not looking to deep is an even greater safety net
Stable & strong not doing wrong but still remaining attached with a hidden cable
Falling in not to break rank is easier than simply being frank  & left to fret
Still growing but watching challenges ,maybe underlying thoughts that will disable

Again others views rarely know it all, our own conscious becomes increasingly alert
Like saving to pay the piper,an emotional blocking is still being used as a funnel
Sturdy  is good but safe is to not get wordy ,maybe under reacting finding an issue to skirt
Making gains while not showing the outcomes is probably still living life in a tunnel.R.C.

Well the doctor told me I was out tears ?
The doctors told me I would never sweat again ?
I am 10 lbs UNDER weight & will never gain it back ?
I won't regain a lot of lost muscle ,so I won't be able to lift 200lbs again ?
My appetite is 1/2 what it has been my whole life?
My blood ,heart,other parts ,fat,cholesterol etc. are as good as a teenagers?
My credit will straighten back out this yr.:)

I think the cost savings in KLEENEX,DEODORANT,FOOD, & then knowing I can't lift means my back won't hurt,saves ON CHIROPRACTORS and PAIN KILLERS :)
Plain food tastes "fine" now I can sell off my cookbook & kitchen junk collection:)
I have missed out 30 yrs of junk food , I might as well go for it now :)
with that cost saving and a small loan I can pay off another house & paint it PINK just to freak the neighbors out :):)
Hey I am "POSITIVE" that is a good side to be on :) R.C.

I WHISPERED,'I am too young,'
And then,'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon..........Poem by William Butler Yeats..........

A WAY TO STAY
Bringing bereavement on ourselves is usually not a subtle step ,more a giant leap into a black abyss
Rarely given a choice so planning is futile , like a novel on a shelf mysterious mood hidden between the bindings
We may be left asking the unknown why has life handed me such strife much left to explore before having deaths Kiss
With all the lessons that have been laid upon us now melded into memory ,can we still be strong with these new findings

Plenty of phrase  refers us to  having  to pay a piper ,mortality & morality often coming to rest on the same bed
Taught to make a path always avoiding the wrath ,Precious memory's are now  constructing a solid structure
Beginning as blessed, shown as always better than cursed,evil paths lead to a faster wrath ,increasing the dread
Being blessed often seen as a way to rise over the crest ,that sacrament appeasement for all that may not pass muster

Leaping in light years from soothsayers  and prayer , beams and  waves ,switches or dials furthering the wait to the graves
Unknown futures not ready to fast forward ,faithfully wait ,set aside living but non progressive finality can become obsessive
Frankness as a point of view comes with experience ,changes subtle or severe forcing adaptation  sometimes in waves
many varied Modus Operandi  become a fixture when moving outward into time, leaving fancy fables just a real need to live

Playing a game when we already know the outcome ,maybe not the exact spread sheet but still dealt a dead mans hand
Passive or aggressive maybe better to seek a middle ground ,tastes of time, simple samples become like breath as an addiction
Playing our own part in extending our demise is a noble task ,forcing  good health, mental stability a great wealth making it easier to expand
Not really pretending we are mostly winning ,just always making adjustments,forcing against the clutch ,we are merely the tenant awaiting eviction. R.C.

i know that
most days
the cathedral of your body
with all its dips and curves
forgotten staircases
and ripped velvet covers
on the splintered pews
is hard to love

and there are days
where you wish that your
body would have manifested itself
as a palace
made of ivory and bone
with great empty halls
that would host nothing else
but your anguished cries
and empty stomach

but these things
are incapable of filling you up
because it is hard to sustain yourself
on bitterness and past scars alone

so i say to you
my friends
brothers and sisters
my lovers
and those living in the wastelands
of themselves

cast aside these
things for you are not a church
or a palace or a temple

no
you are something
much stronger and vast
grow yourself into a forest

turn all the sleepless nights
and breakdowns and hospital visits
and suicide attempts
and those traintracks of scars
into the great twisting trunks of trees

grow yourself as big and bold
as you need to be
protect yourself
wrap up all your sharp and soft
edges and corners
into the bark of mother nature

become a forest
because
through fire and drought and storm
and flood
the forest always comes back
even the charred remains of trees
stand strong

so
i say to you
with your dark circles
and long sleeves
and chest hidden behind a binder
with all your scars
and imperfections
be a forest
because
a forest is unstoppable
it always comes back
it always grows back

and so will you