What is paradise really?
It doesn't have to be,
Lying out upon white sand, breathing in the sea.

It's not being served frozen drinks
Or parties all night long.
It doesn't mean money, celebrities, or doing something wrong.

There has to be no silver platter
No delivery at each request
To me it doesn't even matter
Either way, I'm still blessed.

For anyone who ever wonders or forgets what FNB stands for,
For anyone who doesn't know my story:
FNB is three little words,
Fat No Bones, does that sound absurd?
It may not make that much sense to you, but in my mind it all is true.

F is for fat, it's how I feel.
I look in the mirror and see that it's real.
N is for no because nothing is right.
Everyday is another fight.
B is for bones as I wither away.
Put on a smile as my body decays.

That is my story in three little words,
I take it in stride through the twists and turns.

Looks like happiness ,everything right.
Smiles and jokes all day, but later at night.
Take off the cloak, what lies beneath?
Covered by a thick, bulletproof sheath.
Sadness, worries, imperfections.
Distorted images and reflections.
Trying to hide all that is wrong.
Blending in, playing along.
Drowning in emotions, getting no sleep.
Buried far underground, getting too deep.
When the light comes, put on your disguise.
Wipe off the tears, and muffle the cries.

When you feel that familiar feeling,
At first subtle, then grows so unappealing.
A tingling slithers all around, drawing you in, pulling you down.
Invading the mind, body as well.
Looking at scars, it's easy to tell.
Give in, they scream and claw inside.
There's not a single place you can hide.
Feeling uneasy, what will you do?
Split yourself open for that liquid red hue.
But after it happens, red knife in hand.
Live with the guilt and scars; you did it again...

I let you see my biggest secret, confessed my greatest fear.
You saw all of the things no one has gotten near.
Countless secrets, agonizing pain; i shared it with you.
Whispering words, holding me close, was any of it true?
I reached out; about to drown. You pulled me from the sea.
Brought me back and saved my life, just to ****** me.

I always wish I didn't care, that I didn't have to see
All the pain and the dark that lurks inside of me.
Always there it's hiding, waiting for the day.
When my foundation crumbles and I start to drift away.
Telling me lies, that I soon believe.
The job of this horrid demon, is simply to deceive.
Once it consumes its' victim, leaving some entrails.
It slinks off into the vast darkness, unaffected by screams and wails.
Then comes a lonely wanderer, lost and all alone.
Befriended by this evil, going deeper into the unknown.

In frightening silence, hiding in wait.
Hoping to strike, deciding your fate.
Wearing your patience, and self-control.
These consuming thoughts have taken their toll.
Slitting each wrist, draining red crimson.
Mesmerised as it flows, sparkles and glistens.
Heart beating fast, shaking so hard.
Nothing can stop it, no way to discard.
Feeling lightheaded, stumbling around.
Landing softly upon the cold ground.
Wrists still dripping, time's running thin.
Life pours out of the veins from within.
Lying and wondering when death will grab hold.
With evil, dark hands, and a piercing cold.