Whitney

Whitney Apr 2014

Caged

In a cage I sit
In a cage I scream.

Rattling the bars; a girl can only dream
My arms can reach out
but it is only a matter of time when my arms will no longer function.

In a cage I sit
In a cage I scream

Burning my face; with the acidic stream flowing down my cheeks.
I yell and I holler.
but it is no use.
No one can hear me or see me.

In a cage I sit
In a cage I scream.

Lying on the bottom of the cage, gone;
a girl can only dream.

Whitney Feb 2014

The Actress

Numb.
That’s what I am.
All the sadness has now glazed over my eyes.
Seeing everything in a blur.
But seeing nothing at all.

Tired.
That’s what I am.
Fighting the light of the day to come.
Wishing every night.
That it would be the final time that my eyelids fall.

But no one knows this, no.

Because when I wake up.
I slap a smile on my face
and act.
And act like everythings great.
Everything’s wonderful!..
But no.

When I am alone.
That is when the mask comes off.

I do not pretend any longer.
I stare off into the darkness ahead of me
with not a hint of light other than death.
Thinking so much that I am not thinking at all.
Blank.
Tomorrow will come, and it will begin again.
My eyelids will rise but they will be heavy as bricks.
I will go through another day, with my body and soul both feeling numb.

Whitney Feb 2014

Two-voiced suicide

Wow.  She is such a freak.
freak, is what they call me.
As if I’m not even
There is no helping her. There
She’s hopeless. Hopeless, is what I feel.
They don’t even know me.
Me? I think she should just give up.   “Give up” they tell me.
Okay…
I will always remember her.   I will...

She is gone now. Gone now,
Gone. I am gone.
Why is she gone? Gone,
Unwanted?  NO! She was because I was unwanted.
beautiful! Beautiful?
Smart! Smart?
Loved! Loved?
I was none of these.
These, she was all of these.

This is a two-voice poem, spoken by two people, from 2 perspective.

Whitney Feb 2014

Time

You've never truly felt it.
If you think that,
it’s stupid.
Stupid that I can’t be around all of you at once.

But you don’t understand.
Oh, you don’t understand.
How I wish I was confident enough
just to send “Hey”
And oh, how i wish.
That it wouldn't be so tough,
just to be “okay”

I work for your happiness.
Because that is all I have.
I have inside me, hopelessness.

No, this does not go away in one night.
One “girls’ night out”

It takes time.
But time is not my friend.
As time goes on,
I stay still.
Wanting only just someone to ****.

me.

— The End —