So I thought id write a poem seeing as I can barely move my hands
I can feel the air moving through my body
And it's making me forget you
I can feel the tension between me and the friend in front of me
And it's making me forget you

And ******* this high feels so ******* great
And I don't even care that when it's all over I'll want to ******* die even more than I did before
And **** the awful feelings that comes with being alive in a world without you ******* here
God I feel so ******* great

My heart won't slowwww down

It's 3:04 am and oh my god the shakes won't stop
These tremors are so violent and my vision is blurred
I have everything
I have love
I have the fill of my sadness
I have the drug that's prescribed
"Stop when you get your medicin, because then you won't need it"
But even now as I'm sweating over the realization that I might have taken too much
I can't stop telling myself

I need it

Sometimes I get so afraid that I will die
That my heart will stop and my eyes will roll back into my head
Then I remember
That fear of death is fruitless
Because I am death
Death is all that I know

Maybe I'm afraid of myself

I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die

It's ten o'clock and I'm coming down
And god it's coming down hard
I smoked my last cigarette in the pouring rain
But I can't wash off the inevitable anymore

I'm a terrible person, and I can't stop hurting everyone
But I just wanted to get high
And god I can't be here anymore
I've written out my letters
Is tonight the night to send them

I can't breathe
But instead of struggling or calling out
I think I'll just let it be

Maybe I'll jump off the bridge
In this place that I hate
And death won't be painless
But I don't deserve it to be

My legs will break and I won't be able to swim to the surface like I've been doing for 6 months now
Water will fill my body and I will be terrified
And maybe I'll panic and maybe I'll want out
But right now with my sober mind
I know that I deserve it

And no one will be waiting for me on the other side
And it's probably better that way
God I pray it will be nothing
I pray that life doesn't go on
I pray that I can just disappear

I want to be forgotten
I don't want forgiveness
I don't want my body to be found

I am utterly alone
And this is my doing
And this is my fault
I pushed you away, I could have not sent that message I could have just come over
But I guess this is what I want

I never thought that I would be someone to use people
But what I'm regretting most about this decision is that I can no longer get something from you

You ******* siren
You ******* creature you are poison
The only thing I will miss about you Is the high you brought with you
You are nothing, give me my cigarettes

I just remembered I have ***** upstairs

Nevermind