You slip behind my walls
Like they were never there.
My warrior's solitude broken
Your behind my enemies lines

Walls are there for protection
You are breaking all my rules
Smiles are start to slip up
My mask is starts to crumble  

My fear returns
Of being hurt.
You ask what's wrong
And I hesitate to say:

"Walls were built so I'm protected
No one is to be behind them
But you have made you way there
Though I love you being here"

You look at me
Not even for a moment
And with all certainty say:
"I will protect you"

I melt at the sound of your voice
Words desired to heard for so long
Rang out among the frosted trees
Speaking truth never heard before

Warriors should never be alone
Masks are be worn for all but one.
A warm sanctuary of no solitude
This is home of the warrior.

Stop crying little girl
We don't need her
We are strong
We will survive

No matter what you think
She is not what we need
We need control
And there is none with her

Lock away those feelings
Take your heart off your sleeve
Grab your mask off the shelf
And put on your warrior face

No one can touch you
If you give them nothing.
No one can touch you
If you take nothing.

Love left scars
But everything can be hidden
We were so new at the game
That we got played

Take no ones hand
Shed no more tears
No more being open
All is to be closed in

No door or window left unlocked.
We have no heart
She kept that
As she took the wind with her.

Control and structure must win
Confined's must be conformed to.
No grave left to dig
For warriors do not fall

We can take care of our self
No need for sacrifice
Care and love cut
With precision and pain

Warriors live in solitude
That's all we can hope
No more need for smiles
No more warmth to cuddle

There's no need to be hurt.

I know it's not fair
I know it's not right
These feelings I have
Bring nothing but despair.

You are my light
When fog claws at my mind.
Though what am I to do,
When the light is not there?

I see the light
In my minds eye
Images run ramped
Feeling cut lose.

My heart has hardened
If only for a moment
Thoughts cut deep
As if knives in the dark.

I am not scared
Of things like the dark.
I am scared
Of what comes with the dark.

Even when I'm in your arms tight
The monsters want to stay and play.
My mind is not welcome here
For all it brings is fear and tears.

My mind is the monsters in the dark
It is what makes these unjust feelings
It wraps me in chains
Whenever you are not here.

I know it's to much
But I am my minds new play thing
So please stay here
For I fear of times unknown.

Others have names for it
From good to bad.
But I hope you know I try
To suppress these feelings of the night.

Though you say you will stay
And I believe you will
My mind refuses to play along with this game,
It has decided on new rules on how to play.

It keeps me up at night
To tie spined ribbons in bows
Around my heart.
It makes it hard when you do not stay.

I once again know
That you would not play these games.
Though my mind still presses replay
With your name to an old face.

Old fears do not know their place
They try to worm their way in.
After having been resurrected
By my minds cruel ways.

I'm sorry for all of this madness.
But my mind is taking me farther into wonderland
To where wander drops back to fear
And my heart is caught prisoner.

You unlock the cage that my mind has put around my heart.
But once moments return to memories
And warmth has died always
My mind cones back out to play.

You are my new drug
And I love every second of it.
I don't crash every moment we're apart
Only when no words have been spoken.

My voice grows stronger with the thought of you,
And my heart is once again light as a feather
My eyes open to see lights in the stars
Just as if you were here.

My mind still pushes me toward others,
But my heart is firmly rooted in you.
My mind also pushes the idea of you with other,
But my heart knows you are true.

I know these things that I feel are not feelings,
But the pain does not realize this,
It's all the same to it
For the pain is a creation of my mind and heart.

There's something trapped inside me
Pushing to get out
Begging for release
Trying to be seen.

The walls keep close eyes on me
So I close mine tight.
Try to be happy
And suffer through the night.

Few things truly bring me bliss
What I would give
For one last
Goodnight kiss.

Simplicity found
As if reborn
Laughter brought tears
And me laying on the ground.

Held tight
To be safe
Never to be let go
Always to have a place.

Trembles let lose
Kisses on cheeks.
With beautiful eyes
That must see the light.

Warmth speed throughout
Arms wrapped around
Breaths mingled
Eyes begin to close.

No shadow of a doubt
I would never leave
This is where I belong
My heart is in the lead.

The best of pillows
Move on their own
To pull you close
And never let you leave.

Random morning wake ups
Just to be in the moment
To look in to closed eyes
Writing on her back.

I miss you inevitably
It's that twisting pulling feeling i get
At the bootum of my heart
In the pit of my stomach.

The desparate need to be near you
The pain of hearing your voice.
Nothing can replace you
I have already tried and will lose again.

Seeing you every day to day
Not to touch you or to pull you close
That wrenching feling every time
Those painful beautiful memories come to mind.

Nights are the worse
Darkness folds in, and I swear...

I can feel your arms around me
Your lips brushing against mine
The feeling of breath caressing my check
Along with warmth once so near now fleeting.

Those whispered words of affection are now lost in translation
You speak words I'm unable to follow
My need for protection is nearing perfction
I've lost you my dear and have no way to reach you

I love you so hopelessly, it's eating at me carelessly
society warned me but i came after you anyways

You loved me though right?
After all those late nights
You must have felt something, but to give up this fight?

They said I was poison
They warned you were selfish
But I never left not even for a second

Where did I leave you?
How did I miss you?
Those feelings you left me,
They've all but consumed me.

He walks past me without a look,
Step by step he distances himself,
Origin or not
My love what is there.

I stand at attention.
Every fiber of my being full,
Condensation reappears,
Even though it's not here.

Dusk has fallen,
My vision gone red.
Fog clouds my mind
Till I cannot hold on any longer.

I lounge forward,
Grasp his shirt front.
Crash our mouths together
Like two men of war meeting on the front.

Shook washes over him,
Though the stone he's made of quickly melts.
My back soon clawed at
As we feel so alive behind closed doors.

Frowned upon,
But we don't care,
My heart flies
As we both say;

I love him.

Kind eyes,
Slight smile,
All I need,
To feel relief.

Calculating,
Mending,
And always thinking
How to feel relief.

Warmth encircling,
Demons run,
Bliss remains,
Relief floods me.