Tip toed to the fridge
Thinking I was the only one guilty of committing the crime
But he is already there

I can't sleep I whispered

Silence.

He doesn't hear me through sips of liquor
The eerily soft glow illuminating his face
Accentuating deep forehead wrinkles

Of course he doesn't need to hear me
He feels it too
The sins of having a fraternal twin
Pain felt by one (always burdened both)

she was a living kerosene
combustible, volatile,
deadly
and my words were
her fuse

the assault would flare when sunrise meets sunset
and thats when I usually loose track of time
because
clocks freeze
the minute hands
viscously crawling by
as if oiled by the kerosene
they're right when they say time's relative

but i inhale it anyways
all her toxic words
fumes of swears
smogs of taunts
all of which left behind
ugly,
black,
soot
tarnishing my soul

but i smile as the smoke fills my lungs
and gladly let her words burn me
because i know
I wouldn't have it any other
way

i want our love to be like the entrance to our apartment

i want it to grow like the weathered, soften rim of our front door-
worn in but familiar and safe

like the heavily rusted, but loyal hinges;
tight and reassuring 

like the cracked flower *** that desperately clings onto bright specks of sunflowers;
hopeful and determined

like the flickering light bulb in the dark hallway that refuses to give through and die out

Is it possible to pour your spirits out
Pluck out all the heart strings
Release a flood of emotion
And undying, eternal love
Dedicate it to
Someone
Or
Something

whenever I miss someone a lot, I just remind myself that
we’re all made of stardust
every atom of me
is the same as every atom of you
every small speck of being in me
is in you

our grains of life collide and merge
and intertwine and weave stubbornly into a tight immortal coil,
ceaselessly,
we are one

and so the distance
is not so great after all

Please don’t stare at me
If you look too long you will see
the growing cracks
the messy loose-ends
and failed constructions
of someone who used to be
hopeful

Sometimes there’s this emptiness in the soul
With which the saddest songs would not heal
And the soft kisses of tissues would not soothe
The burns of the acidic tears
Something in there
Cannot be resurrected
Nor stimulated  
With a thousand voltage defibrillator

Most of the time,
the rotting flesh is still alive
The heart still beats
The EKG device monitoring
Each stubborn peak and trough

Sometimes
In this blind bleakness,
There is still a small spark
An iridescent bubble that refuses to be burst
And with quiet determination,
There is a defiance to live
And sometimes
This small act of defiance
Is the greatest courage of all