I found your flaws first:
your thin, wispy hair,
the arch in your back,
that slightly crooked nose.

And you found mine:
following a girl who took my heart
and the air right from my lungs.
She'd wring me dry
till my veins were scarred purple,
caked with pale red dust.

While you and I laid on the floor
in the dark, planning
our escape to California
as we had always done,
I realized the mistake I made
by not loving you first.

At night I tear myself to pieces
wondering which organs are failing,
or how many bones are breaking.

I feel for awkward lumps or other signs
of lesions, tumors and rampant disease
that may someday infest my body,
or have already started to **** me.

All the white coats scare me sometimes;
with red test tubes, proof of the life inside me.
But all I see is dark blue and tiny bubbles
watching a little of the life float above me

Dear My Love,
I wanted to write to you
To simply say I miss you
I know we broke up six days ago
But my heart has grown weak without you
I wish you never stopped holding it
I don't know why I'm writing this
You'll probably disregard this
The same way you did me
At the Homecoming dance
You were busy texting your friends
I tried getting you on the dance floor
But what did you say
"I'm too busy"
Well I hope you're not busy
To attend my funeral
I'm not killing myself
You are
You killed me
When you walked out of my life
Stole my breath
And never returned my lungs
I'm suffocating
Choking on what was
Needing your touch
But your arms are around another
I guess I hold no value in your life
I miss you
That's all I really have to say
I love you too
Sincerely,
The man you never cared to love

instead of picking flowers for you
i'll take you where they grow,
together we can watch them die
when heat gives way to snow

(i just want to be with you
as seasons come and go)

I may not know what it's like being bullied
But I know what it's like being the bully
My naturally massive frame
Came with swirlies and stuffed lockers
But I eventually saw the harm I was causing
On the wrist of a kid I once bullied
I sat him down
Asked him why his scars matched that of mine
He replied with a shocking remark
"You don't help with the **** I'm going through"
I told him this
"I don't want to be the bully anymore"
I stopped every bully in the school from ******* with him
I helped kids out who were being victimized
I went from bully to friend
People were still scared of me
But I managed to take that fear
And make a movement towards helping
Every kid I once bullied
Call me mean call me whatever
I know what I once was
I'm proud of what I'm not

Her hair is like the of the sun.   Her eyes are like the color of brown gemstones.   When I am her, every nerve in my body tells me this is right.       What shall I do with these feelings ? Should I push them astray?  Or should I express them in a loving way? Each step I take towards her feels like she is father away. The decision was made for me. The truth blurted out. Her feelings were not the same. I ran away with my feelings still intact. The next day I still watch her from a far but it was different. There is no hope but all my nerves kept telling me this is right. That my feelings for her is right. I went home and all I could think about was her. What's wrong with me what does the world see in me? I pick up a pen and paper and wrote my feelings for her one final time. At the end of the note it said, I love you. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the knife and looked at my writs and I knew it was time. As I closed my eyes my blood trickled down into a puddle. I realized something important everyone should know. Love hurts more than it pleases.

I see trough the window
A gray sky and clouds
I felt empty
Like missing a part of my life
I realize...
I miss you from my life

Your laugh
Your smile
The way you kiss me
And wraped me with your warmth hug

If we could have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time and rewind

I promise I will never leave you again
Just with you forever

My life is like a blank paper
Writen by your beautiful memories
That become a part of me
And when you're gone
A part of my life also gone with you

But I know it's too late to fix
It's no use regreting the past
Only ruining my future

Suicidal Thoughts
by Shani Jonas

I paint a pretty picture
on the base of my wrist
with my razor and some red liquid
and my hand clenched into a fist

I do one stroke for everything thing I hate
everything that gets me down
I do a stroke for everything that turns my ugly smile
into an even uglier frown

I do one stroke for promises
that are very often broken
There is one stroke for love not returned
When someone throws away your kind token

another stroke goes on my wrist
for all the unfairness in this time
things go good for a second
and go bad for months at a time

A stroke for all the people I can’t stand
a stroke for all the harm done
a stroke for all stupidity in the world
a stroke for all the guns

that **** all those innocent people
I use this razor to show the things that I hide inside
one more stroke and I’m dead...
*A stroke for committing suicid--