You left when I needed you most
And I can't blame you
I was turing into a mess
Too much to handle
I think it was better for us both
Ending up this way
Cause you deserve better
Than to sit here and stay
You deserved much more
Than trying to fix me
I could read it in your eyes
The frustration was easy to see
I still wish it went a different way
That you didn't have to leave
I wish I could make it better
But I still hope you'll come back to me

How easily she spoke
Of a healthy life
Of love
Of happiness
How often she spoke
Of hope
And courage
Little do you know
She cuts
She cries
Little do you know
She's broken
And wants to die

Your smile was flashing
We were laughing
Your skin shone
And we were alone
You came in close
Then kissed my nose

I woke up with tears
Crying for the years
We spent with each other
But we're no longer together
You took off a while ago
With no guilt at all to show

Close my eyes
As the pain subsides
In the silent night
I let myself die

She holds the blade
Like a trophy
Proudly won
To be adorned
Slicing her skin
She feels
No pain
Emotions left her
Too long ago

She holds the blade
And has no worries
She knows
It will somehow help
She holds the blade
And knows
Defiance will guide her
It has been the only one
There

I want it to storm
Specifically over you
To electrify your sins
Rumble and grumble too

I want you to drown
In the troubles you cause me
Neck high in sorrows
So tall you can't see

I want the sun
To never shine again
Just for you
I'll make sure that happens

As the rain does fall
I hope I do too

Her smile is gone
Her laugh too
No more talking
She's all
Blue

Her soul is empty
She's lost all hope
Because, sadly
She finally
Broke

Cruel and ignorant
You think you've won
The war isn't over honey
Oh it's just begun
Your bombs hit cold
Mine hit hot
You'll get what you have coming
Don't think that you'll not
Funny, abandonment
You think it's so easy
Honey please
I'll make sure you won't forget me
Hear my name
See my face
You'll regret the day
You abandoned me

I heard you're doing fine
I wish I could say the same
But hey, it was a tough run
We were both in blame

I heard you started over
And you have someone new
I suppose that's great
Well, great for you

Shamefully, I'll admit
When I lay awake with thoughts of you
I only pray
You've heard and thought of me too

Today I saw you
Our eyes met
Like they've been searching
For each other forever
You smiled
And I swore I saw 
A twinkle in your eye
I convinced myself otherwise
And put my guard up
You waved 
And broke my guard down
I smiled and forced myself
To look the other way
When our eyes met
After all this time
I was surprised 
One pair didn't cry

Do you still think of me
The way I think of you
Do you smile
When you hear my name
Do your eyes shine
The way mine still do
Do you remember us
The way we were
Do you come across my name
In your phone
And want to call me
Do you still laugh
At the jokes we shared
Do you still love me
As much as I love you
Do you?

So, what does love feel like?
Does it hurt? Is it great?
Do you lie awake at night?

The truth is
I'm scared
Because I've never known
A life without you
I have no one to fill that void
No one to love me
I'm scared
Because you're actually leaving me
How can you leave me?
The truth is
It's for the best
And although
Every single day without you
Will hurt me
I will pull through
The scary part is..
Someday,
I might forget you
And the truth is
I don't want to

I'm not even shocked
I don't even care
I'm really not surprised to see you not here
I knew you would leave
Just like the rest
My life goes on without you
My heart still beats in my chest
All I can say
Is I hope someone leaves you too
Just like what you did to me
You, selfish you

Midnight was approaching
So I got ready
I had to make sure everything went great
Make sure things were steady

Midnight is here
And I'm waiting
I turn away
As couples are kissing

Midnight came and you weren't there
All the disappointment and hurt, I can't bear
Slowly breaking..
Way to ring in the new year.

If my id could talk
It would go to you first
Would grab you by your shoulders
And look into your eyes
Spill out everything I've thought
And it would tell no lies
It would tell you things
Even I didn't know
Like how you really do like me
And it would ask you why your feelings don't show
My id would get angry
All it wants is you
To love me for me
Because I told it to
I told it I love you
But you don't love me back
My id got angry
And something in me cracked
After all this time
My id has known
It has learned my inner self
Where hurt is shown

I met you
You, oh perfect you
On such an imperfect day
With imperfect classes
Rushing in the halls
Too busy for anything
But it was decided
We had to meet
Fate made time for us
Fall time
After class under the trees
We met
But back then
We didn't know
We'd later be
In love so deep

I've never been sure of love 
Simply because I've never felt it 
I would say "I love you"
But never really meant it 
I've never never felt the warmth 
Of a true first kiss
Or had the aching feeling 
Of somebody I miss
I've never known the depth
How love really went
Or believing that someone 
Could possibly be heaven sent 
I've never felt a shiver through my spine
Or the feeling of not enough time
You could say
I've been deprived
Of love's lies

I think about you day and night
I begin to dream
Thoughts that make my heart take flight
I smile from ear to ear
Singing love songs
Loud enough for the world to hear
Oh this feeling is so grand
I dream of us soaking in the sun
Laying in the sand
Waves would be crashing
And my, did you look smashing!
We'd laugh and play
And waste the day away
When night falls
We'll cuddle in close
With a fire that calls
Inviting marshmallows to roast
And in my dream
I could already feel
Our love was strong
Our love was real

I can see you smiling through the pain
You've been through storms of hurt and rain
Your heart is big, but your eyes weak
But you still act strong, oh so sweet
Although you say you're quite alright
Saying that phrase takes all your might
Such a weak soul, you think to yourself
And begin doing things not good for your health
You'll walk out of bathrooms with nosebleeds
Hiding your face so no one sees
No one knows anything
Just the way you want it to be
Years after rehab, you begin again
But to stop, all you needed was a friend
Someone who cared about you so
And take care of you in times of woe
A friend who loved you endlessly
And to make sure you fell sound asleep
A friend at heart is all you need
To cope with this world full of greed

I wish I could say
I knew you like before
It seems like yesterday
When you walked out the door
My heart was broken
But you didn't care
For you, I left my life open
Like Hawaiian air
You shattered my heart
And ran out of my future
As if we never had a start
As if we were never together

And as though she read my mind
She walked away
And just like that
I'd lost a friend
Someone who was there though it all
Now gone
Oh well
I thought
Just another open space in my heart
As always
So alone
Growing more lonely every day
Not a surprise
Given any day
I would have chosen to live alone
I would have been by myself
It's better that way
After all
The life of a changeling
Is a lonesome one

It's hard to stay friends
When you're the one heartbroken
It's hard to be okay
When you have to say
"I don't love you"
When you're feeling low
I just want you to know
That even though this kills me
I'm hoping that you do see
I still love you