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Jo Apr 2015
I can't differentiate
between
drumbeats
and beats of my heart
Jo Apr 2015
It's nine
And the college fair is in half an hour
And I've never been to one

It's nine forty two
And I've made visits to seven booths
None of which
Catch my attention

It's nine fifty
And I'm wondering
If no schools seem appealing
Because no majors
To me
Are appealing

It's ten
And I have a collection of eight pens
After trading false promises
To fill out
Connection cards

It's ten ten
And the first college
Asks me
What I find interesting
Instead of what asking
What major
I am investing in

It's ten eleven
And after thinking for a bit
I said
Writing

It's ten twelve
And the young man
At the booth
Has given me
The last book he has
Which is a compilation
Of writing pieces
Of students in the school

It's ten thirteen
And I have filled out my first
Connection card
But I do not keep the pen
Because
I know I will remember the school

It is midnight
And I have read through
The writing book
Cover to cover
And have also
Plastered the name of the school
All over every corner
Of my brain
As well as
My bedroom wall

It is midnight
And I have decisions to make
Jo Apr 2015
I only look attractive at night
When the curtains fall
And my glasses slip to my nose
When my eyeliner is smeared into the creases of my lids
And my hair is wrapped up into a messy pile on the top of my head

Not the raw state you see in the early of the morning
But the raw state you see in the midst of the night
As the light fades from our bodies
And succumbs to exhaustion
When our angers no longer have any power over us
And sweet serenity washes through our minds

I only look attractive at night
For it is my most vulnerable state
Jo Apr 2015
It gives me
an overwhelming rush of happiness
to get a rare text back from you

Because then
at least
I know you haven't taken your own life
Jo Mar 2015
If we're always under construction
When is the detonation date?
Jo Mar 2015
I was a fool to believe time would stand still after you left
Of course
Time went on
And I had to deal with time without you

So much ******* time without you
Jo Mar 2015
When does Just Starting transform into The Middle?
When does The Beginning end?
When does time pass us by, and how do we know?
The world isn't as fast or slow as we know it
The world is as fast or slow as we make it out to be
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