A cold oh so bitter
It reminds me of winter's
Sting.

A warmth so encompassing
Reminiscent of late spring's
Comfort.

A pain so enveloping
It hinders developing
And growth.

A joy with such a sweet taste
That not one crumb goes to waste
like delicacies.

Temperaments so fickle
Forming a soul so brittle
Like cracked glass.

A poem oh so dry
It's not even worth a try
Like living.

Soul scarred with unforgettable lessons
Memories burned into the very essence of self
Physical pain cannot compare to the sting of psychological wounds.
Lacerations deeper than any blade could cut
Abrasions festering with rank infections
Infections of spirit and mind.
Subconscious struggles revealed in my dreams
Where repressed memories and fears roam free
Where the demons frolic and poke at sore gashes
Gashes that pour blood drowning me in sorrow
Sorrow that hacks me into thousands of pieces
Thousands of pieces that will never be whole.

When the Lady calls
Darkness is sure to fall
Like tears on a coffin
She calls all too often
She'll beckon for you softly
Smile at you broadly
She sings oh so sweetly
Lady Death has come to meet me.

She wears her hair like a veil
with skin so soft and pale
Her physique; dainty and frail
Take heed of the bleakness,
Don't you dare assume the weakness
Of her seductive melody
the pitch intoxicates me.
Her kiss will steal your breath
beware the embrace of Lady Death.

Her eyes are a piercing blue
And they will pierce straight on through
the scraps that are left of you.
She lays beside me every night,
caresses me until the light
shines bright, in the early morning;
when she leaves me in mourning-
cloudy thoughts, demons scorning.
Lady Death is drawing near,
She whispers nothings in my ear.

She pulls me towards the hereafter
with charming words and soft laughter.
She comes for me in the moonlight,
bringing me comfort in the night.
Yet her heart is black as coal
She comes only for my soul,
To drag me in to the dark.
I fear soon I may embark
on the last adventure,
when it all becomes a blur,
when the light fades away
and I've reached my final day.

You can have my heart, Ms. Reaper;
We'll roam together, Soul keeper.  
For the noose beckons every day,
Darkness is pulling me away.
Come ****** me up in my slumber;
Only you can disencumber
me of my eternal sorrow,
I want your kiss on the morrow.
My heart burns with desire
and Lady Death lit the fire.

When was the last day I laid eyes upon you
When was I last able to watch you
Smile and frolic on a sunny day
Before you succumbed to self destructive ways?  

Was it when I threw flowers on your grave
Or when you became the poppy plants slave
When you were diseased infested and depraved
The day I realized you could not be saved?

Or was it when you were still joyful and smiling
Before you were crushed by the weight that was piling
When your soul was still brightly shining?
How far back was your fate aligning,
What moment ended up defining
Precisely what your future would be
and why would  the darkness not choose me?
Why would it embrace you but leave me behind
To rot with the rest of humankind?

Long ago our fates were decided for us,
Long before our energy returned to the physical realm
there was a place where we all did the cosmic dance together, floating freely amongst our eternal selves. The pieces of us that never die.
But that was long ago
and now we have forgotten.
Now we see ourselves as independent from each other, as different from "the other."
Now we judge and hate.

Long ago a group of enlightened men pulled puppet strings in the shadows.
Remember "enlightened" is not synonymous with righteous.
These men guided the world in a certain direction,
the effects of their actions are more so relevant today then back then.
They decided what our fates would be,
lives of ignorance and servitude.
They chained us, both with metal, and with economic systems.
So very long ago,
but still we remain chained, unchanging, stagnant.
Like the air that we breath and the polluted lakes in which we swim.

Long ago there were people who tried to warn us,
and some not so long ago.
They tried to show us the error of our ways,
tried to wake us up to the truth of things.
But we rarely listened.
In fact, we killed these people.
The Socrates' of the world.
Now look at us.
Wasting our lives away economically enslaved to corporate overlords,
to materialism
to false images of who we should be.

Long ago a dark cloud spread itself across the planet
It has yet to recede.
It brought with it industrialization, slavery, hardship, bloodshed.
The cloud has even spread into our minds.
Heads filled with distorted versions of spiritually,
with an historical timeline of half truths and outright lies.
Only the facts that fit their narratives make in the textbooks.
Those who attempted to clear the cloud away were silenced.

Long ago Mother Earth was born,
she held images in her mind of what her children might one day become.
Like any mother she thought we were capable of achieving great things,
and she loved us unconditionally.
Providing for us, giving us her breast milk-
water, trees, resources for shelter and food.
One group of her children strayed from the path,
we human beings.
Now we hurt her like we hurt ourselves,
over consuming that which was meant for all her children.
We have left her barren and scarred,
naked and used
crippled and abused.

Long ago the father of the cosmos sent our molecules rocketing through space.
Omnipresent, he knew the monsters we would one day become.
But still he sent us anyway,
why would he knowingly subject Mother to such brutality?  
There must be an answer-
maybe he's seen something after this era, A glimmer of hope that my mortal self cannot foresee.
The truth can only be found back then,
but we are not able to perceive the infinite timeline,
So the truth will stay there, in a time long ago.

Who has infected me with this disease?
Who has injected me with this poison?
With delusional perceptions of reality?
Was it god or some other supernatural enigma?
Was it a combination of drug use and genetics?
I'm guessing it was the latter
that filled my thoughts with blood spatter.
Although that would be the conclusion of the rational man,
one who embraces science and rejects god's plan.

I've never been a man of science,
rather I'm a man of silence who rejects unquestioning compliance.
Was it this defiance that broke my mind?
Broke my surety and will to survive?  
I'm struggling to sort false thoughts from the truth,
struggling even harder to find the root,
the cause of all my anguish and strife,
Cyclical thoughts that keep me up at night.

Who showed me these sadistic patterns?
Who gouged me with the blade of anxiety?
Am I suffering for the sins of my ancestors?
Do I seek vengeance upon myself?
These are questions that have no answers.
Still I ask them repetitively  
and smile back at myself devilishly.  
There's no hope for me but you can save yourselves,
Grow your own food and abandon the oil wells.
Conserve your energy and your water,
then maybe there'll be hope for your sons and daughters.

So much pain on so many different levels,
Each and every day spent looking disheveled.
So many bleak possibilities in my mind,
Thoughts of a dismal future for mankind.

This negativity seeps from within me
I know it's dark mother please forgive me.
Father,  please take back your trusty firearm,
before I cause myself irreversible harm.

Thoughts of propelling buckshot into my head,
with blood and brains dripping from my bed.
Such thoughts can never truly be escaped,
like PTSD from warfare or ****.
There is no parole from mental prison,
no cure for the hate that has risen.

Love cannot change the blowing of the breeze,
It cannot lift me up from my knees.
Love cannot redirect the flow of water,
nor save us from civil war and slaughter.
It cannot remove nuclear waste from the ocean,
Love cannot stop what is already in motion.