I miss the pain,
The fire,
The self-destruction,
Their desire,

My weakness is my fragility,
My strength resilience,
My strength seeps into all weakness,

Now I am losing all ability,
There is no chance to pull though,
To push out of the dull pain,
No longer one of the select few,

I've dropped to the bottom of all holy things,
No clawing to the the top or even scraping the surface,
The weights become to heavy with the burdens it brings,

Alone again, alone in all this,
No saving hope; no faith in the risks,
I have been beaten by my own hands.

My dearest heart,
Stop playing such childish games,
My mind's not good at remembering all these names,
I can't seem to keep track or understand,
Why you refuse to find a safe place to land,
You've dragged me in and out of danger,
You've put me in beds with almost strangers,
Made me wish I bit off my tongue,
And lets not forget every time you said "he's the one"
Had me let him put that stupid ring on my finger,
Now only his memories seem to linger,
So please, my dearest crazy heart,
In this time I am not allowed new love to start,
Keep straight and narrow; walk the line,
Allow me the strength to ultimately decline,
For you hold my reputation in your grasp,
Your essence stay present in his strong clasp,
Lead me not astray when you want to wander,
Don't stir up new feelings you love to conjure,
For I can not lose the grace I worked to fall in,
I can't not purify that sort of sin.