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I have been through so little
But have felt so much
Or could it be vice versa
And reality is left untouched

Our hearts have been broken
Shattered and stabbed
With attempts to put together
The fractured pieces we've grabbed

Whether they were yours or mine
I can no longer remember
Forever to be frozen
In the midst of December

But I can no longer contribute
To this puzzle of fragmented love
For I am the one causing the pain
Holding a heartless heart, I long to be rid of.
Dear friend, I am afraid you were right from the start,
We are but foolish beings holding onto foolish hearts,
Grasping and clawing for that one true soul,
An entity we blame for our lack of self control

And here I am, the worst offender in every case,
I treat love like marathons and sprints; an endless race,
I fall in, I fall out and it all starts at the sound of a gun,
But I fear my dearest friend, there is nowhere left to run.

From adolescence to rebellious youth,
I've held this silly type of love as ultimate truth,
But I have now faced all my demons and fears,
And my fairy tale has crumbled on pages soaked in tears,

So here I lie a breathless Juliet,
My story telling is ending, the sun is set,
Bruised bones and broken hopes,
Love lost in a dream now tangled in heartless ropes.
There it was, the brightest light,
Scrambled towards it, my very first sight,
From there I was taken to my home,
There I learned I would never be alone,
Then came the plaid, the prayers and saints,
There I learned all my moralistic restraints,
Brush your teeth. Don't dye your hair.
Be careful how you speak and what you wear.
Never let a man use you for any pleasure.
Keep it locked up. It's marriages' treasure.
But GOD forbid you should ever fight back,
When they slap your *** and grab your rack,
Just brush their hand a way and cover up some,
Ignore the anger that renders you numb,
Keep it in and never say a word,
Women are better if never heard,
And so I kept my mouth sewed shut,
Held every memory in every useless cut,
That left the scars that haunted rebellious years,
And led me to trust strangers with my deepest fears,
I must have been born with some impure spirit,
To endure the evils these men are permit,
For innocence was interrupted so early on,
Stolen while waking up for a hazy dawn.

It was over and done so I moved forward,
I broke every rule written on the chalkboard,
Nothing was real and no one was true,
That was until I finally met you,
And the world is as it first was,
I smile now like every other girl does,
Even when you aren't here with me,
I still feel the love inside dancing free.

But once again all is interrupted,
Resurfacing any emotion I ever hid,
This time was worse, almost brutal,
I struggled but my efforts proved futile,
I am pained with remorse and endless guilt,
I let him break down all that we built.

Now every moment of ever day,
That horror repeats in my mind on replay,
And I scream inside every time we talk,
But my voice's value is under my tongue's lock,
Keeping it safe in my vocal vault,
In fear that this truly was my fault.
A glass of wine,
A cigarette,
Sitting on the rooftop,
Watching the sun set,

Warm air,
Pink skies,
I breathe in,
And the old me dies,

Final glow,
Clouds light and sheer,
I find myself,
Letting go of fear,

Lightened darkness,
Specks of blue,
I am finally able,
To let go of you.
Matty, you will always be in my heart.
Standing here looking down,
Turning my back on this forsaken town,
Leaving here is not so easy,
Memories become worthless debris,
This place I've come to know,
Swept away in life's continuous flow,
And here in this moment in time,
The night sky seems so sublime,
Stars spread over the city lights,
Billboards scrambles at different heights,
Moving headlights along the freeway,
I turn around filled with dismay,
Walking in my cement shoes,
Wondering which path I should choose.
Calm and quite,
Away from it all,
Long grass holds my body,

Breathe...
Fresh air,
Crisp,

Like nothing else,
No movement,
Just the wind,
Moments pass by,
But time stands still,
People come,
And people go,
But somehow,
They were never here.
My heart has stopped beating,
And in my mind,
My thoughts retreating,

But wait, see there in the distance,
A piece of hope,
Is in resistance,

Moments grow long,
And time goes on,
My heart breaks until its strong,

A stone cold fortress,
To carry me onward,
In these times of such bitter distress.
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