after all this time
all that’s left of me
twisted and shattered spine

I’m right here
on all fours
just below your gaze
I‘m sorry. I promise.
I will remember my place.

sometimes
i find no words
i find no rhyme
pouring all my hurt
in a leftover bottle of wine

deep inside these aching bones
shattered where I feel them most
muffled, troubled, heavy groans
roughed up tears and tears exposed

I am sinking like a stone
in pitch black darkness
deep waters chill me to the bone
until I hit the ground unconscious

high pitched ringing
all the angels in my head
they just won’t stop singing
my eyes turn drenching red

at least
the more I keep on clinging
the sooner I’ll be dead

my palm is cooling out
oasis turned into an arid drought
and as I lift my arm to reach again
you shapeshift into one of hundred thousand men

lingering feelings of love
I‘ve had it coming, I think
your touch turned into something rather rough
I don’t even remember
when you started acting so tough

now it’s time to let go
to stop thinking and wondering if you know
time to step out
against all of my longings and all my doubt

wish I could’ve stayed
playing your game, accepting the trade
my soul for yours
so that our story endures

against all your lures
all the debts I paid
all the moments we shared
rose colored promises you made

putting a stop to our beating heart
a mirage I held onto so desperately, right from the very start
but if that’s what it takes
my sanity, my worth as the stakes
if that’s what you need
me on my knees while I beg and plead

if that’s what you need
then I have to take my leave
laying to rest all that I believe
I now choose me
I choose to be free
and all of what
I once used to be

all I thought
you were
all I thought
that we were,
all that could’ve been
with the line so paper thin -

now
it’s just a blur

without time
i discovered myself in my prettiest prime
clouds raining down flower showers
and only with you
heartbeats turn into forever hours

without touch
lingering fingers and such
physicalities straight redefined
incapacitated mind, I’m turning blind
rational thinking now staying behind


and still
without doubt
i cite one thousand whispers,
all that I‘ve vowed
all of my love
my whole being throughout

bask
in molten glass
raise my palms wide to the mass
my time now to surpass
and take my throne in alcatraz