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Dec 2020 · 143
happy days
reverie Dec 2020
sometimes life comes easy
in-between the longing and the dreams
days passing by taste kinda peachy
rose-colored picture book scenes
Nov 2020 · 104
break
reverie Nov 2020
deep inside these aching bones
shattered where I feel them most
muffled, troubled, heavy groans
roughed up tears and tears exposed
Nov 2020 · 123
dog
reverie Nov 2020
dog
after all this time
all that’s left of me
twisted and shattered spine

I’m right here
on all fours
just below your gaze
I‘m sorry. I promise.
I will remember my place.
Nov 2020 · 89
melodies
reverie Nov 2020
high pitched ringing
all the angels in my head
they just won’t stop singing
my eyes turn drenching red

at least
the more I keep on clinging
the sooner I’ll be dead
Oct 2020 · 98
roxil
reverie Oct 2020
lingering feelings of love
I‘ve had it coming, I think
your touch turned into something rather rough
I don’t even remember
when you started acting so tough

now it’s time to let go
to stop thinking and wondering if you know
time to step out
against all of my longings and all my doubt

wish I could’ve stayed
playing your game, accepting the trade
my soul for yours
so that our story endures

against all your lures
all the debts I paid
all the moments we shared
rose colored promises you made

putting a stop to our beating heart
a mirage I held onto so desperately, right from the very start
but if that’s what it takes
my sanity, my worth as the stakes
if that’s what you need
me on my knees while I beg and plead

if that’s what you need
then I have to take my leave
laying to rest all that I believe
I now choose me
I choose to be free
and all of what
I once used to be
Oct 2020 · 91
Sadness
reverie Oct 2020
I am sinking like a stone
in pitch black darkness
deep waters chill me to the bone
until I hit the ground unconscious
Oct 2020 · 94
love lost
reverie Oct 2020
my palm is cooling out
oasis turned into an arid drought
and as I lift my arm to reach again
you shapeshift into one of hundred thousand men
Oct 2020 · 111
sad times
reverie Oct 2020
sometimes
i find no words
i find no rhyme
pouring all my hurt
in a leftover bottle of wine
Sep 2020 · 52
the great escape
reverie Sep 2020
impressing
your breath on my neck was almost distressing
a matter of life
and death
and love  
couldn’t have been more pressing

now I’m drowning
in all the memories
of our bodies
suppressing
remembering your voice
****,
I cannot stop obsessing

with the silver lining beneath my eyes
and all the skies crashing down
you, my man, my love
how could you have lost your crown

****
me
god, I really tried
I left my pride and I cried and I lied
**** me
that‘s all you ever did
held on me tightly, rightly, oh so unsightly
and yet
somehow
I still never quite sufficed

spreading my arms and my legs and my skin for your charms
just so you could know love
just so you could feel unharmed

it was all devised
our unreal fairytale
how could I have been so stupid
how could I have been so blind

jesus
*******
christ
Sep 2020 · 63
my god
reverie Sep 2020
all I thought
you were
all I thought
that we were,
all that could’ve been
with the line so paper thin -

now
it’s just a blur
Sep 2020 · 125
lust
reverie Sep 2020
when I think of you
the skies between my thighs turn all shades of pink and blue
and then my heart begins and starts
god, I don’t know, what do I do?
till all my guards and well-kept parts
melt right into your skin and through
Aug 2020 · 59
begin
reverie Aug 2020
without time
i discovered myself in my prettiest prime
clouds raining down flower showers
and only with you
heartbeats turn into forever hours

without touch
lingering fingers and such
physicalities straight redefined
incapacitated mind, I’m turning blind
rational thinking now staying behind


and still
without doubt
i cite one thousand whispers,
all that I‘ve vowed
all of my love
my whole being throughout
Jan 2020 · 53
reach
reverie Jan 2020
bask
in molten glass
raise my palms wide to the mass
my time now to surpass
and take my throne in alcatraz
Sep 2019 · 98
need
reverie Sep 2019
caught in space
with my heartbeat tumbling
infatuated with a lilac haze
luscious clouds roaring, rumbling

choking on extra sweet sugar rain
falling in love is always the same
i‘ll never be able to stray from my ways
even when my world starts crumbling
Jun 2019 · 129
leftovers
reverie Jun 2019
was there ever a cure
for this spell you put on me

air on my skin feeling wholly impure
and around my iris, floating only debris
Jan 2019 · 141
higher
reverie Jan 2019
if I could tear you apart
reveal the pathway right there above your heart
if I could split your body and soul
you know this, don‘t you
- you’d still remain whole

you’re more than a mere work of art
to see you have to stop looking so hard
to know you must relinquish control

only then, you shall remember  
from the very start  
it was never yours at all
Jan 2019 · 159
don’t go
reverie Jan 2019
after all my good intentions
all these honorable deeds
countless tender indiscretions  
that’s just me, I aim to please

i still get left behind
that’s when I feel so deaf and so blind
that’s when the usual dread creeps back
and again  
as usual
i go down on my knees to beg
Dec 2018 · 405
zero
reverie Dec 2018
envisioning blind
with a tongue twisted mind
my dress keeps on twirling
amidst a world that stopped turning
Nov 2018 · 197
uncertain wording
reverie Nov 2018
the worst is not
the deepest down

the worst is not
to sink and drown

the worst thing is
the in between
not here not there
invisible
unseen

the worst it is
to know
- or not?

how terrible it feels
to never be sure
Nov 2018 · 298
adulting at its best
reverie Nov 2018
i'm stretched out thin
covering a thousand places
with the sun shimmering through my skin

rushing
with flushing
and burned out cheeks
hollow underneath my eyes
dried up tears like river creeks

trying to be the best
trying to stay afloat

weary bones,
i never rest

saltwater flooding inside my chest

this is not what i had hoped
Nov 2018 · 153
he never stays
reverie Nov 2018
red blinks of light
streets hushing by
at the corner of my eye
somewhat out of sight

bodies intertwined
sounds and lustful groans
no matter how much I seek
i never find

walking out at night  
withering inside my mind
wearing your clever
tender
skillful disguise

i lust for you
your nails and your deep end eyes
clinging onto my neck and
making me blue

i want you, too
don’t laugh like that
why won’t you trust me
i told you,
i do
Nov 2018 · 396
well
reverie Nov 2018
just leave me here
my limbs are made of steel
i’m too heavy to lift
a bothersome ordeal
Oct 2018 · 158
red silk
reverie Oct 2018
she‘s made up of strings
what a peculiar, bittersweet thing

hold up now - careful
don’t make her vow

you yourself are too full
if you untie her now
she might always bow
wouldn’t that be dull?
Sep 2018 · 144
if only
reverie Sep 2018
i sense you in the symphony
running inside my bones
when our eyes meet

and i taste you in
that ice cold air
slumber winter mornings
oh
how i wish we were
Aug 2018 · 145
terror
reverie Aug 2018
i have long stopped crying
about the monsters underneath my bed
now i’m reaching out
to their levitating faces instead

last year it all began
when cold deserted the land
creatures crept in through the walls
patrolling the halls unmanned

they don’t have arms
or legs or feet
tall enough to reach the ceiling
smell of rust and festered meat

pluck my hair out one by one
sleep starved me trying to rest in peace
screeching whistles full of fun
plan to tear me piece to piece

satan sent them from hell
to bring me back from sleep
little did he know
they’re now mine to keep
Aug 2018 · 157
cheat
reverie Aug 2018
green demon
disclosing
exposing
your sin
sometimes it sneaks out while wearing my skin

you love me, so you wouldn’t
or would you
i trust you, so i shouldn’t
or could you

accusations
fermenting built up frustrations
is it me or is it her you’ll *****

speculations
overbearing calculations
mass murdering the trust we grew
Aug 2018 · 156
petals
reverie Aug 2018
that smile of yours
rushing over me
like a spring breeze
fruity flower crowns and
fluffy
buzzing
bumblebees
Aug 2018 · 157
paradise
reverie Aug 2018
aren't we all simply collections
of our inflictions
and weakest actions

misguided directions
assuming perfection
trying what we can to
keep up pretention

i wish we remembered
breathing
to live with momentum

fearlessly
moving mountains
entering eden
with welcome
Aug 2018 · 149
guilt
reverie Aug 2018
in a world filled with
hypotheticals
and ethical dispensables

we learn what's right
trusted, tried

still doing deeds
unjustified

it's okay, you know
it's alright
making mistakes is part of the ride
everyone lies
running off in fright sometimes

doesn't make you less worthy
or less qualified
you see, putting those
so called
imperfections aside:

the concept of failure is an illusion
taught to you by people trying to prove things
it's time to wake up from this delusion

you're lovely
and worthy
even amidst all confusion  

so fail on forward
hang in there
with fierce resolution
Aug 2018 · 214
premiere
reverie Aug 2018
too cold for you here
don't look at me
my dress is too sheer
honestly

i fear

can't you hear

cause you
my dear
make my breathing sizzle
make my heartbeat fizzle

taking down my last frontier
Aug 2018 · 382
old friend
reverie Aug 2018
sealed under an iron oath
signed out by our own accord
nothing much we could be hoping for

dusted
ligatures of our time
dematerializing right before my eyes

lost
between desert outskirts
and your desperate, sobbing words

still
tides of love and warmth
wash me back to our earth
your shadow glazing
comforting
and open arms,
this time unarmed
leaving us bare
and for once
unharmed

what we were
and what will be
no mountain or sea
would dare endanger
you know this
we’ve always been of a somewhat stranger flavor

a bond forged with urgent certainty
and our skin melting as one
fevering in boiling burgundy
tirelessly
under this dried out sun
Aug 2018 · 152
martyr
reverie Aug 2018
around my neck
your lilac mark

crown of salty skin and crust
rendezvous mute rush and lust

i am a wrung out work of art
reverie Aug 2018
watch wings unfold
tips of silk so tender

as you put forth all your faith
blossoming
into the soul of a stranger

the mightiest force of them all
soft like vanilla
providing a space for someone to grow stronger
taller

a better person
a bigger hope
now, thanks to you,
together
Aug 2018 · 633
love is not
reverie Aug 2018
me gagging at my washed out reflection inside your retina

real love means

your soul stripping inside my arms
unarmed
and me
welcoming you in
keeping you unharmed
Aug 2018 · 147
vicodin tears
reverie Aug 2018
i still remember the days
singing hymns for death in a sunken gaze
my tights ******* in a noose so tight
and my arteries putting up the usual frantic fight.

hang in there, they said
and i did.
-
with unsure tread
between life and death
most days, shutting down, didn’t even break a sweat.

each step onward
like flushing sparks in obsidian dark
and hope kept blinding my eyes
while i continued stringing along my faithful surmise.

my dear readers, loved ones
what can i say?
honestly: where i am today
is a place i never thought i’d be worthy enough to attain.

... never pretty enough to feign vain.
.. never confident enough to complain.

and still, i draw another breath, all these other days
with colors eclipsing
feelings insisting
a will to live, befitting  
yes, finally

my life
is now

a life worth living.
love to each and everyone of you all <3
Aug 2018 · 133
prayer I
reverie Aug 2018
**** me
undo me
slit me right up

take all my pieces
hurting like a papercut

cause all i ever wanted
all i ever longed to be

was to be broken and bent  
like a marionette on her knees

so infinitely hurting
untied like a bow

but in your arms, still loved
even though
i'm not whole
Aug 2018 · 768
yum
reverie Aug 2018
yum
i have a peculiar liking
for boys who put me in a cage for fun

since i'm so scared of being left and abandoned
i'd rather be eaten at once
Aug 2018 · 173
wish
reverie Aug 2018
i wish i was good enough
one of those infamous diamonds in the rough

instead
i sit here and write

i really wish I could rip off my head
Aug 2018 · 260
wanderess
reverie Aug 2018
when i was small
my satin thighs
still stained in snow
untouched and wise

kept them closed
tucked in and nice
like a good girl would
with flustered eyes

somehow, i
still had to wonder
what it felt like
made me shudder

utter
stutters
hunters, youngsters

thrusting
lusting
rough and tight
busting
something
day and night

growing older
i dimmed the lights
on mattresses rusting
in hotel room nights

these days my story
isn’t quiet and right
filled with mourns
and shorts
pulled down ever so slight

these days i wander
in alleys and arms
of men and monsters
oh,
but believe me
they got their charms
Aug 2018 · 146
i asked
reverie Aug 2018
„do you still love me“
under a crimson moon rising
helplessly, turning into a banshee
with these pale red lips too inviting

„did you ever really love me“
under showers of sheer alabaster
limbs *******, dragging me down undersea
could you please make my burial go by any faster

„do you even know what love is“
each silver lining drowning out
god if you grant me one last wish
resurrect my bones, chant your name all aloud

i can tell there’s no answer
no spring and no shame
crystals in my eyes are now shattered
i can tell you’re not the one to blame

your soul must have ventured
into tundras so cold
forced your heart to surrender
so you sold it for gold
Aug 2018 · 130
lord II
reverie Aug 2018
take me away
lead my light astray

scarring desert fire
out there, hell is arranging your choir

beat after beat
mighty razor teeth

pushing
ripping
stripping my skin
my neck and my body and all that’s within

turn me inside out
with your withered sunset drought

fill my mouth
so i can do just as i vowed

eating the sun

making all life
bow
Aug 2018 · 136
me to you
reverie Aug 2018
sometimes
i don’t know what to write

yet you’re here
right
reading these words
i pulled them out of my head last night
tried to make it right
sounding quite nice,
rhyming should suffice
right

doesn’t matter that
i lied
and i cried
and maybe i died

- but blood aside

as long as you read these words that i write
i know myself to be alive
i know you will treasure this
all of the feelings i hide
thank you to anyone who takes the time to read what i write.
Aug 2018 · 135
trust me
reverie Aug 2018
this pretentious war we face
isn’t won by running the race
pulling an ace
or
another pointless chase

it’s those moments
so sweet
choosing joy over greed
little actions so bright  
together, let’s
shine a light
for all to see
reminding you, kindly
that
love is all
there will ever be
Aug 2018 · 209
father death
reverie Aug 2018
your eyes
remind me of ashen fireflies
with circles around them, almost like
a monochrome sunrise
and your voice  
fills the skies
with clouds of coal and ice

your touch is made up of lies
am i not right
with your castle build up so high
it counts as vanishing disguise
and in your flesh, this demise
it should suffice
am i not right
to have you pay this price
the worst of all goodbyes
Aug 2018 · 131
maker
reverie Aug 2018
i wish to be like you
not see-through
eyes forged
in exquisite stygian blue

eating it all up
mouth full,
still
nothing staying stuck
in that sharkish smile
crunching jaw, grinning wide

you got claws instead of hands
human life a mere pretense
what i’d give to live like you
devoid of all and any sense
Jul 2018 · 155
sigh
reverie Jul 2018
sometimes

it‘s like the winds are taking me
but not really me
parts of me that i thought i‘d be
lifted away so easily
almost like it’s gravity

so why does it feel like
particles being swept away
somehow hurts me
can‘t they stay?

can‘t i be whole
just for once?

in this ******* life
this ******* farce?
Jul 2018 · 153
hi
reverie Jul 2018
hi
i‘m
pretty rotten
pitch black cotton and
miles to the bottom
here, my *****
eyes uncommon
seldom
sodden
Jul 2018 · 153
blue
reverie Jul 2018
no matter
how high i stride
how city neon lights blind my ride
how my blood pumps all and every night

you
come back around
howling hound
cerberus
surmount
Jul 2018 · 139
why
reverie Jul 2018
why
Iong letters short
you dragged the curtains down
no droplets on cheeks anymore

it's not like you're gone
you're just next door
so why do I feel
like you're further than jupiter
Jul 2018 · 266
grr
reverie Jul 2018
grr
there's this fluff
on my forehead
where my hair starts
- yeah, right there

i like to look tough
not only a tad
so it's pretty hard
to be like that anywhere

when my hair is curly
and rude
and I just wish
i could go somewhere

without looking
like a goof
this isn't funny
i'm serious
I SWEAR
that feel when you realize you can actually write poetry about the absolute weirdest most hilarious things
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