was there ever a cure
for this spell you put on me

air on my skin feeling wholly impure
and around my iris, floating only debris

if I could tear you apart
reveal the pathway right there above your heart
if I could split your body and soul
you know this, don‘t you
- you’d still remain whole

you’re more than a mere work of art
to see you have to stop looking so hard
to know you must relinquish control

only then, you shall remember  
from the very start  
it was never yours at all

after all my good intentions
all these honorable deeds
countless tender indiscretions  
that’s just me, I aim to please

i still get left behind
that’s when I feel so deaf and so blind
that’s when the usual dread creeps back
and again  
as usual
i go down on my knees to beg

i'm stretched out thin
covering a thousand places
with the sun shimmering through my skin

rushing
with flushing
and burned out cheeks
hollow underneath my eyes
dried up tears like river creeks

trying to be the best
trying to stay afloat

weary bones,
i never rest

saltwater flooding inside my chest

this is not what i had hoped

red blinks of light
streets hushing by
at the corner of my eye
somewhat out of sight

bodies intertwined
sounds and lustful groans
no matter how much I seek
i never find

walking out at night  
withering inside my mind
wearing your clever
tender
skillful disguise

i lust for you
your nails and your deep end eyes
clinging onto my neck and
making me blue

i want you, too
don’t laugh like that
why won’t you trust me
i told you,
i do