you painted a beautiful sunset,
full of color and life,
and said it represented me.

you said i was art.

three months later,
you poured black over the canvas



(cjw)

i see you in my dreams
kissing girls who are not me


cjw

and i started to choke, not from the smoke of the cigarettes you seemed to love more than me, but from the decay of the flowers you left in my lungs and forgot to water.

and i couldn't see anything, tripping over those hollow words you said three months ago, trying to grasp some root or branch or some last string of love you could have for me.

my body hit the current


(cjw)

everyday is a saddening bore,
every fiber of my being knows
i could have been, should have been something more.

mice crawl through the vines
that intertwine through the depths
of my darkened mind.

i should have been a pair
of ragged claws, scuttling across the
floors of silent seas.

i should have been falling down
twelve stories silently, beautifully,
tragically, not making a sound.

i should have been sinking
with rocks tied to my heart and ankles,
so maybe i could stop thinking.

instead, i countinue to breathe.


but sometimes I still think of ropes
swinging in the midnight breeze
when i look at the trees.
(cjw)

it's been raining here so long
   and everyone i have ever loved  is gone
i'm alone,
      a flightless bird  
             with no song
                     or star to wish upon
it's been raining here so long
   i think i'm ready to be gone
(cjw)

i've been sleeping with skeletons again lately
and drenching myself in purfume
so no one can smell my dead passion or the inspiration i always seem to lose

i keep hearing what you said and
i'm hearing dead poems being recited in my head again and i know my words will outlive me like they outlived you and that keeps me company

i've been writing things that don't make sense and sitting outside burning books again

i've been sleeping with skeletons
again
they tell me not to write these things down again

(cjw)

it was pouring when i left your house that november night and everything reminded me of you
like the spot that the windshield
wipers can never reach
god, i didn't see that car coming
but i swear you were the last thing
going through my mind
before it went through the windshield

(cjw)

i've been listening to classical music lately
because it soothes my ill mind
and the melodies all remind me of you and your many sides;
the soft piano chords that chime
and the terrifying bass lines.
i think i've fallen in love with the heartache-ink that makes
up these tunes,
i just wish i had fallen in love
with you
(cjw)

long sleeves in the summer time
tell me what's on your mind

(cjw)

where is my mind
where did it go
i must have lost it
while searching for you
and the gun that destroyed
your lovely eyes
and blew your ******* brains
all over the driveway
and all over my mind
maybe it should stay lost
maybe i should too
(cjw)

this void i am made of
disintegrates
when i look into your eyes
and your hand touches mine

(cjw)

it's hard to remember i'm alive

and that the sky is endless

and this life is relentless

and that not everyone i love will love me back

and i'm made of the very breath of the stars

that's true

but the stars are already dead

and you said i was too

and now i believe you

(cjw)

i'm walking through the woods
without shoes
feeling the earth beneath me
hoping i'll step on a piece
of you
of the love you said you would have for me
forever and ever
until our bones became dirt

(cjw)

it was soft tidal waves
it was the grass browning
  it was the last leaf falling
   the last breath
    it was winter
     it was pure
      it was beautiful
       it was free

when i gave up on me



but when you gave up on me

my veins screamed
and my heart burst too

cjw

everything had stopped
even my tears
and the feelings were all gone
even my fear
when you told me you were leaving
and your eyes lit like gold
in that moment i knew
i had given you my soul

you are sun kissed
blooming with greatness

but this double perception of the spirit
weighs you down

the bottom of the deep, dark ocean
where your skin forgets the feeling of the sunlight