I was skating backwards at  the speed of light
My life at that point was not a pretty sight
I was wandering aimlessly on the highway of life
My heart felt like it  had been sewn together with a knife
Having nothing but the best of intentions
I stopped at the kiosk to ask for directions
She told me she had the remedy to cure my infection
At that point she definitely had my attention
Just as I was staring down the abyss of nothingness
There she was this angel in white clothed in all her holiness
Somehow she has managed to penetrate my psyche
Or Perhaps I'm just a  victim of her overwhelming beauty
She shelters me in the fullness  of her open wings
How could I not become a prisoner of  such blessings?
She captured my heart and now I am a hostage
I feel like I've been given a fatal dosage.
Could it be I've fallen, I've only met her once
I'll just shine it on, I need to keep my distance
Even so I feel a spiritual connection
Or am I just a sad  victim of inferior perception.

Although it was early in our courtship
I thought You and I had a lasting relationship
We hit it off like  celebrities at an Oscar presentation
I was totally enamored, there was no hesitation
Only to discover I was just one of your boy toys
More to the point, just another one  of your donor boys
I'm just an ornament you hang on your Christmas tree
I just wasn't good enough to complement your pedigree
I'm just another amulet hanging from your neck
Good God woman you're nothing but a train wreck
Now I see you for who you really are
You squeezed my grunions in a vise and put them in a jar
Only to discover I was part of an  array
You put on the shelf as an elaborate display
I wasn't even  good enough for a seat in the front row
I guess our relationship  was nothing but a freak show
I was nothing but an ornament to satisfy your  ego
While I still have some semblance of pride I think it's time to go.

Nicole was a beauty, I thought she was a player
To win her affections I didn't have a prayer
She was poetry in motion, she always had a flair
A woman of such breeding is rarified air
As I tripped  on my tongue and asked her for a date
I felt terribly awkward and inarticulate
She looked me in the eye and said "What took so long?"
My initial impression of her was totally wrong
As the days passed by and I got to know her
I discovered her inner beauty exceeded her outer
She was the love of my life, I still can hear her laughter
The sparkle in her eyes always brought me pleasure
Oh how I would love to go back in time
When life was easy and we were in our prime.

I remember the days of wine and honey
When love was more important than  money
But as the years passed by I got my wires crossed
I now have money but I feel a sense of loss
What happened to the boy who could see the magic in a day
Priorities change but there's a price to pay
Cynicism creeps in and corrodes  your very soul
If left unchecked it creates a ******* hole
It will take you down like a powerful undertow
And manifest itself by the seeds we sow
I would love so much to go back in time
When my health was robust and I was  in my prime
I didn't have money but I felt so alive
Now it takes all my money just to survive.

This poem is dedicated to my four legged friend
Ever so faithful and ready to defend
We went to the pound and came to his rescue
He was ever so grateful, so loyal and true
When cancer came a calling my heart was filled with fear
He was always there to kiss away my tears
It broke my heart  to see him in decline
He was one helluva dog when he was in his prime
It was obvious that he was deep in pain
Our  efforts to save him were totally in vain
We went to the vet for  his point of view
He said euthanasia was the  thing to do
I cried like a baby, I was cut to the quick
I was mourning the loss of my loyal sidekick
I pray to god that there's a dog heaven
When we meet again I hope all is forgiven.

I pleaded with god to remove my cancer
I strained my ears but I got no answer
As the sands of time slowly ticked away
I knew the cancer was here to stay
I lived my life like there was no tomorrow
All it got me was pain and sorrow
"Your condition is high risk" the doctor said
"We should start chemo and move ahead"
Although it was totally against my will
I plugged my nose and swallowed this poison pill
As the life force slowly drained from my body
Depression set in like a thick fog  envelops a city
My body, mind and soul were down for the count
At that point I was ready to check out
As I held the gun in my trembling hand
It felt as if my entire being was mired in quicksand
At this point I heard this clear small voice
"This action is totally your choice,
Suicide is considered a mortal sin
You'll  just have to come back and do it all again!"
I often look back and think about that day
The day I almost gave my life away.

I came home early one night,  it was totally unplanned
When sitting on my sofa was another man
He was her former boyfriend, he wanted to say Hi
His claim was disingenous  I knew it was a lie
I showed him the door I didn't say goodbye
At that point it could have been justifiable homicide
He's nothing but a ***** bird looking for a nest
If I had my way I'd squash him like a pest
You took my wealth, You took my child
I took it in the *** and you expect me to smile
Have you no integrity, have you any shame?
Somehow this thing got turned around' now I'm the one to blame.