I listen to too much rap music
And smoke too much ****
I got fired from my job
But I just can't leave
I still go there all the time
I still say hello to the kids
I still wish that I was something else
I wish that I was dead
And through the conflicts and the chaos
And the things that ******* this up
I feel like the real reason why this happened
Is because I just wasn't enough

When daddy was a dealer
And mommy was a dreamer
And life was always high
You couldn't catch us
Like a fever

But now I can see her-
Tears in her eyes
Momma took time off
Because she wanted to die

And the divorce came fast
But the pain came slow
When you're an adult in the body
Of a little snotty nosed

****
and
Smoke
I can see the scent
Of my ****** up childhood.
I guess you could call it descent.

Not growing up
But growing down
Into the sewers
Of my town

This dirtiness can never be washed

You irritate me
like
natural peanut butter.
not that I don't like the taste
but
You're like the oil on top
that gets on my hands
and makes that horrible
shlopping noise

But I can never be rid of you

Oh, you bug me like natural peanut butter

You're like a drop of summer rain
on a cold winter's day
so strange
and so
warm

You make feel me so hypnotized
or maybe then I'm just blind
my ignorance
runs
so deep

Oh, you know
I'll be running back
Like a train
On a track
I can't leave my home

You're blanket soft
And I'm so lost
I can't believe all those thoughts
ran over me

But you, you make me sweet

The sun touches a field of wheat
But nothing could be as sweet
as your grand embrace

I know we all think these thoughts
of death and misery
we lost
sight of our grace

Oh, you know
I'll be running back
Like a train
On a track
I can't leave my home

You're blanket soft
And I'm so lost
I can't believe all those thoughts
ran over me

But you, you make me sweet

You worry too much
my dear
but you have nothing
to fear
I'll be here when you need

No more stumbling through life
No more bickering
No strife
I'm where I want to be

Oh, you know
I'll be running back
Like a train
On a track
I can't leave my home

You're blanket soft
And I'm so lost
I can't believe all those thoughts
ran over me

But you, you make me sweet

You try to muster up upset
but you're not really
and that kills me

My sobs always landed so quietly
but now they splatter on you
like ice on cement

I hate these charades
you don't mean what you say
and I just don't know what to say
or feel

Stop acting
Be real

The perfect line-
you say them all
the time
but they're manufactured
not organic
but plastic

You want me to be happy
but it's useless

Taxi cab driver
with the John Green book
the one with a tack on the cover
I'm sorry that I looked

But I'm sitting here alone
playing games on my phone

Not a day over twenty
Your face shows it well
You're young and seem so full of life
And I just can't tell

How did you get here?
Has it been a long ride?
Are you driving
Looking
For the things that aren't inside?

It's a February evening
and I'm making this complex
I know I'm being pretty silly
But you had to use your GPS

So I'm sitting here alone
Playing games on my phone

So we're finally at my house now
You carefully turned in
Well, I only had a 20$ bill
So you joked about a tip

How did you get here?
Has it been a long ride?
Are you driving
Looking
For the things that aren't inside?
And what's your story?
Do I know that face?
Oh, I don't know you
but it's been a long week
And you seem so out of place

I'm so out of place

I get out and fumble for my keys
It's an average night when it comes to being me
But a slight change in the common scenery is-
neat

Hey, you
Yeah, you
Guy in the red shirt

I don't know what's up with you
But I know I was a little fed up with you
As soon as you asked for my name

Flailing your arms,
For a grab
For a touch
I'm not that drunk
Didn't drink that much

Find another way
To meet girls
To score gals
Cause you're definitely
Getting nothing
Today