I've been dreaming a lot lately
Quite literally
And my dreams tell me stories
That I'm trying to decipher

I dreamt that I had brain cancer
That I'd be dead in a year
And I didn't tell my mother
Nor a thought to my father
Not even my closest friend

All I wanted was a caramel sundae
From Dairy Queen
That's all I wanted
Because why not?
I was to die anyway

So I guess I found out that I should eat that caramel sundae every time I get the chance, because someday I won't be here to eat it.

what do I expect?
to be loved?

because lately it's been
just a pile of *******
but who can i blame?

because i'm really not lovely
and i wish to be truly lovely

i guess he would've tried
to make some sort of contact
if he really did think i was
something special

and i hate feeling needy
and i don't want to need a thing

but that's precisely
who i am;
someone who's deafeningly
indecisive
and who can't muster up the courage to do a **** thing that'd do her any good

i'm not really sure
if i gauge attractiveness
on a real scale
but there's most definitely
a certain quality
that seeps into my
pores and in my marrow
and through my veins
that attracts me

cause his eyes are like
old books from the deepest
sections of the library
and his eyelashes
are like feather
dusters tickling
my heart in a delightful
fashion and his freckles are
reminiscent of drops
of stray ink dripping
from thunder clouds

it's an odd sensation
sensational
that's all i can use to
describe this
imploration of
my mind

I decided not to do my homework.
A conscious decision.
The things in my stomach
That make me feel like I did
At 9
Years old
Came back tonight with a vengeance.

I suppose it's still me trapped in this body.
But I don't really think I'm here.
Lately I've just been crying
Without really feeling much
So I'm scared it's coming
Back
And to stay.

I recently found out I'm afraid of heights.
I never would've guessed.
But I never would've guessed I'd be
Crying over someone
Thousand of miles away
Either so I suppose everything
is being debunked

we sat there
watching Rocky Horror
perplexed by sexuality
and it's gravitational
pull
and our need to
be touched

we both wanted each other
but were too scared by our own
thoughts and hadn't yet
grown accustomed to rejection

not that we'd be rejected

an age where we only can express
ourselves through a jumble of
metal and electricity

funny

Oh,
You skin me raw.
Not to the bone,
But to the redness underneath.

Oh,
The dew of dawn,
Plots its land,
On my stale pink cheeks.

The promised land
Was never there.
For you lie when you talk.

I should've guessed
My own demise
For you are loud when you stalk.

Oh,
My mother dearest,
This is farewell,
Short and curt.

Oh,
don't mind the merest
because you are simply
to me
dirt