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It’s 5 A.M. again.

I’ve repeated this routine more than I’d like to admit
Everyday seems more torturous than the ones before

Yet I still self-destruct.

Nothing is accomplished because there’s nothing to be done
The problem is that’s not true
There’s far too much and it’s all building up
Causing me to slide right on down

Too much to handle.

Since when?

The simplest things seem impossible.

But why?
What’s the point?
If you can’t even find the point to the ******* point?
What does any of it even mean?
What does this even mean?

I guess maybe that’s the point.

The point to the ******* point.
I guess you didn’t know
That I have a lost and uncomfortable soul.
She screams and shouts to overcome the pain
But without uttering a word because fear is in reign.

Is it all in my head?
Another discerning dread that she feared and left unsaid.

How did I get here?
This black funnel and clouded sphere have her trapped inside with no hope to adhere.

Like an impending doom forever encompassing everything she’d once dreamed
All the things that used to be will now never be—at least that’s how it seems.

Not knowing what to feel or how to bestow her love
All hope for that was ruined with the very first shove.

How does one proclaim the truths of their heart?
If everything they’ve ever loved always seems to get ripped apart?
Forever afraid of the what-ifs and of the worst
All because of that stupid ******* **** who immersed.

Thrusting all of her hopes and dreams into the chasm of perception
What used to make sense has now seemed to be blackened.
Happiness used to prevail inevitably, or it at least seemed attainable
But can now only be hastily found with the help of an Rx bottle.

From afar her eyes sparkle and shine like the rarest of diamonds
Cerulean blue like the water surrounding the tropical islands.
If she refuses to let you in, you’d never believe she was so sad
But even the waters of paradise conceal desolate bad.

He’s sent her on a spiraling staircase slowly down to hell
Forced to suffer one small step at a time, while he upwardly propels.

I guess you didn’t know
That I had a story to tell.

I guess you didn’t know
That my soul is not well.

I guess you didn’t know
That I have been enduring hell.

I guess you didn’t know
Because I’m trapped in a distorted and torturous shell
Desperate to find the one who holds the key to unchain me & cast away this spell.

— The End —