Unable to move
Fear surrounds me
A malevolent presence is felt
Yet unseen
Panic grips and floods my perception
Freedom is gained
The figure is no more
This paralysis will drive me mad

The chaos ends, and confusion explodes.
Shells wash upon the shore of a new beginning.
Like a rebel with an empty bottle of *****,
There are endless questions,
Yet no answers

I remember I used to cherish
Dreaming of you. Sweet, scarce
Pictures that intoxicated my brain
At night.

Now I drench myself in caffeine
Because your presence is
A nightmare.

You’re right. I don’t
Know who I am. But,
I do know who I
Am not—I am not
The girl
You once knew.
She was deleted
Once you left.

This hair
These eyes
lips
and nose
This figure
These toes
Is not who I am
We all have
fingernails and
eyelashes
But its what's underneath
My hopes and dreams
Our fears and flaws
That make us who we are
Those wishes we keep wishing
I wish you could really see me
No
I wish you could see
Beyond what you see
And realize your vision decieves
And I am more than what I appear to be
There is more to me than me.

it's just that
when we are laying in the crumpled sheets
and your belly is folded into my back like the tide folds into the
sand


i keep thinking:

this is the most important art i'll ever make

You say you forgive me
And I believe you
But
The problem is
I cannot forgive myself.
So I can't stop apologizing.
Sorry.