Raw flesh drenched in alcohol
Burning numbing till paralyzed, keeps me still
                         Power you have over my being, keeps me fearing

             Your presence destroys me, shatters me
Feeling naked, inadequate when my eyes see
My reflection's negation in you
Cannot hide anything when you expose all of me

Wounded animal beaten without avail
Knowing, proprietor of my pain
               You don't understand my whimper, wail?
My blood being diluted by the sweat of your laborious efforts
Precociously tactful, inhumanly strangling my will

Ever-becoming antithesis to facades, fears, farces in me
Facing scalpels and clamps to my insecurities, my tactics, my pride
Leaving me open not caring if I'll die from exposure
                    Caring only that you're exposing the real me

I-nvoluntarily l-acerated, o-n the v-erge of e-nding u-ndone
Somberly Always Unsettling Leaving me bare

I hit you from seven hundred angles
Inhaling your vapor
You stink
I never thought someone like you could exist
I think at light speed
How to take your oxygen
Make your existence reduce
Like a crack pipe abduction
Can I allow your death
Which your nastiness has denied
I wish your eyes to bleed
When you see my glory
Hold my dreams to your face
Fill your blood with its doses
Then watch it stop your heart
See my conscience in the sky
Feel my word of mouth
Stab you in the eye
Rip your lungs out
As you try to inhale
The fragments of my intellect
I am the young jedi
Looking to devour your force
Squeeze your source of life
It is quit awkward looking at my portrait
Smiling like mona lisa
Only I know what I want to do with you
I will fill your ears with poison words
So it can o straight to your brain
Feeling like I am hitting you with stone
There will be no copies made of you
As my words impede
Your reproduction
My thought will remain in your head
As you ******* to my ecstasy
Then you will love me

Swept the last strands of

Fresh cut hair

Locked the door

And went down the stairs



Slight vibration

On my left rib

Pulled the phone out

From underneath my barber's bib



Heard your tone

The regret and shame

Said you would leave me

For what's-his-name



Pounded the end button

Went straight home

Settled in my bed

And put down my phone



Two hours later

Puffy eyes and stuffy nose

Looked in the mirror

Grabbed my skin hose



Five hours later

Sore arms and wet napkins

Moist from not just

My lacrymose chin



My salty reflection

Stares back at me

Shame and guilt

Guilt and glee

All armies are the same
Publicity is fame
Artillery makes the same old noise
Valor is an attribute of boys
Old soldiers all have tired eyes
All soldiers hear the same old lies
Dead bodies always have drawn flies

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

In the back seat of Dad’s red Grand Prix
I thought about death for the first time
and if God forgave kids who didn’t believe in him

Eternity was suddenly terrifying,
even in Heaven, an endless celebration
And in the dark, I would be alone, a streak of light
racing through empty space
with nowhere to go but further away

Mom was the first to see me falling to pieces
as I tried to explain the promise of Heaven was scary
like endless flames, and an eternity of nothing was just the same

As a child I ran from fear and hid in a well lit room
But here, as a crumpled heap on the ground, I couldn’t escape
Mom begged me not to be afraid
with a kiss and a therapist’s receipt
She promised peace and beauty in death
as I tore myself apart on the side of the road

Spanish

Debout sur mon orgueil je veux montrer au soir
L'envers de mon manteau endeuillé de tes charmes,
Son mouchoir infini, son mouchoir noir et noir,
Trait à trait, doucement, boira toutes mes larmes.

Il donne des lys blancs à mes roses de flamme
Et des bandeaux de calme à mon front délirant…
Que le soir sera bon.. Il aura pour moi l'âme
Claire et le corps profond d'un magnifique amant.




              English

Forsaking my pride, I want to show the night
The inside of my cloak, plunged in mourning for your charms.
Its infinite handkerchiefs, its handkerchiefs black and black,
Piece by piece, tenderly, will drink all my tears.

The night lays lilies upon my burning roses
And cool cloths upon my feverish brow…
How good the evening will be! It will have, for me,
The luminous soul, the profound body, of a magnificent lover.