A day without your voice
Is an eternity
I have discovered how to slow time
And I will live an agonizing forever

If ever I begin to feel ok
I just have to look at my skin
To remind myself
I am worse
Than ever

You can’t
Leave my pillow smelling like cigarettes
And expect me not to become more addicted
Every time I dream

What a fool I was
To love you with my whole heart
I should have known
That a heart so large
Is such an easy target

Please don’t purge me along with your winter coats
In a box by the curb marked “Spring Cleaning”
I know it’s time to lighten your load
But trust me
I’ve been so starved you won’t even notice
Me hanging around your neck like a noose
I won’t ever have the strength to tighten

I sang sad songs
Because I thought by singing of other people’s pain
I might expel some of my own
But my chest found new reasons to tighten
I want to take you back to my room
And make love to you on my unmade bed
I want it to remain unmade
Because we never leave it
I want to get drunk
Drunker than I’ve ever been off of you
So drunk I can’t walk and you have to carry me
Carry me as long as I’ve carried you
So our arms and knees can have mirrored stress fractures
I don’t want to fit conveniently into your life
As a place holder stored between
Loneliness and opportunity
Because for me you are the hurricane
That I stood in my backyard waiting for
While everyone else evacuated to higher ground

I’ve been trying to write a poem
To make these thoughts sound eloquent
But all I want to say is
I need you to put your lips to mine