Mama's gentle hand rested in mine before putting me on
The giant yellow school bus and somehow awareness made it known
I could trust these hands with my life
The very same hands that wiped away my silent tears
Hugged and kissed away my fears chased with medicine and cold cloths
The fever from my brow death has taken her from me
Leaving sweet memories behind
O how I wish to feel that loving caress as mama put on my stylish cap
And shinny shoes and after school lessons were done at night
Prepared each meal into a bountiful feast to take the mind off
The poor neighborhood of youthful blues
I watched her hands iron shirt and pants pressed so fine
Mama never asked for much for herself but was always
Giving to others with a smile if you were hungry she would
Put an extra plate on the table  while calling you her pet name
For all ''Sugar'' even in trying and hard times she provided for
Her children
Now in my mind I see my mama on bended knees with eyes closed
In prayer thanking GOD for taking her through another day
Across the falling sands of time in the hour glass
I can still see mama's hands

I'm thinking about that old chapel in the valley
Attended so long ago where sunday church bells would ring
And my teenage baritone would sing sweet  songs that memory
Used to know.Don't you know that I left that chapel in the valley
For the city to be wild and drunk and free
Spent most of my time in dark ***** tonk bars
Driving fast shinny new cars like I was a fake movie star
And all the *** that would come to me
Now I'm older and  a little wiser now and time
Seems to be less plentiful than it was before
And like the prodical son in the bible
The world is no longer much fun and I have the gray hairs
And the unseen scars to prove it my friend and I 'm sorry
For all the wrong that  was done
So down on my knees crying out LORD help please
Welcome this foolish child back home

Slaves never owned the land nor themselves
And its hard to imagine if we were ever really free in every
Possible way after  PRESIDENT LINCOLN freed us
Let me explain what I mean.Master smiled and shook hands with us
While giving us a piece of land rocky weedy unused
He also gave us seeds farming equipment and  an old mule
And let us have credit at the corner store that he owned
Where Ious were accepted plus we were allowed to keep the shanty
From which  was used to fight off the wind  dust storms rains snows
Lest I forget to make it known, he took most of the crops
When they came in leaving us only enough food for our family
to live on until the next crops came up
We watched this happen year after year until the ious were taller
than the silent trees that once hung us and left us dangling
In the wind like dark fruit thrown away
With no thought of human blood on the leaves
Running down to join its roots

The plantation that housed my body mind soul
Had fallen on hard times.Union soldiers had plundered the crops
And taken everything worth stealing when word spread
That president Lincoln had signed something called
The emancipation proclamation that set us slaves free
Once able bodied and docile slaves ran off in all directions
But I stayed behind with the old spirit weary who seemed dazed
And listless.My mistress was the only white face among us
One day while I was in the kitchen preparing black coffee
And biscuits she asked me to share these with a rebel soldier
Who was asked to wait at the back door
Suddenly I felt white hands on my *******,than the cloth shirt
Covering me was ripped away as hard manhood invaded my
Insides.The intense pain rocked all senses and tears flooded
Out like a loose dam. My screams bounced off each enclosed wall
Yet no one came to  save me  to stop this unspeakable crime
As he rode the waves of his personal pleasure my mind shut off
to stop it and I saw visions of running through creek beds and
Swimming through rivers with a knapsack with two linen shirts  one
Two pairs of parting gifts from my mistress tied atop my wooly head
And most of all being able to sing with a loud free voice a song
Yet sung

In the ghetto time and grime don't hold back
The years or the tears.Scream out in the night nobody hears or cares
But I'm still holding on.There are fears out here nobody has met yet
I'm still holding on. Walking city streets praying that death won't
Get to me. Sooner or later strangled by the secret wishes inside
Hoping the fake dreams of smoke entering the bodies noses I see
Don't off the real dreams of those not on the pipe
*** being used to sooth away each tired ache or lack
People trying to escape from the ghetto blues
So I'm still holding on. Watching kids doubledutch on sidewalk cracks
Lots seeded with tossed mattresses junked cars rotting trash
Stray dogs seen hanging around hot dice nearby
Thrown down roller hoping to get lucky
And I keep holding on

Flickering moments spent in your presence are not enough
They are wine  and food for my soul
And I find myself greedy for more as time silently ticks by
When all others would attack me with dagger and scorning tongues
I find that your love serves as my first line of defense
So could I ever be cold in the shelter of your arms
When its a tender fire inside that warms me so?

I'm sweeping the pieces of yesterdays dreams away that crashed
And fell outside of my door  majestic colors of blue gold red orange
All gone now but yet to rise from thee ashes like never before
All thoughts and dreams born inside
And I would say never open the door to silent longings
Not to be loved or embraced
When the heart is ready and open it will enter
To cause a celebration