i used to buy astronaut candy
when i was twelve.

in case you're wondering what astronaut candy is,
it's gelatinous goo that you squeeze from a tube.

the particular brand that we always bought
had a special tube.
it was dome shaped on top
with a hole in its concave center.

the point was,
you squeezed the tube,
out comes the goo,
and you lick it off;
most of us just ****** it out.

three varieties:
blue raspberry,
orange,
and everyones favorite,
white cherry.

in hindsight,
i guess that explains why so many of my friends
turned out to be so
"fabulous".

maybe we should've opted for the candy cigarettes.


nah.

****** pleasuring a plastic tube:
so much more fun.

i love the way you
feel me up in public places,
****** to nameless faces,
tell my friends to ***** themselves:
"it makes me feel protected".

command the god of heaven down,
wear your flimsy clinquant crown,
weave tales of fictitious sounds
that i will "soon" be making.

i love the way you never bathe
i love the way you never shave
i love the way you never made
an effort just to please me.

-

and the rain fell backwards that night
and the fires restored houses
and we all took showers and got
dirtier
and
dirtier
and
dirtier.

approximately forty forked tongues
made love to my ego yesterday
for envy,
and in this way they paid me
my overdue reparations.
i'm cool with that, bro.
what else you have for me?

exactly five tickling fingers
graced the nape of my neck today
for boredom,
for monogamy,
and in this way the human finds
that he's been human all this time.
fine with me, miss forbidden.
tell me, what's next on the agenda?
what conquests await me
just inside Freedom's gate?

two eyes for fifteen-odd-something teenage girls
gets to be confusing,
but
it's better than the day-after-day,
week-after-week,
month-after-month,
year-after-yea­r
quicksand whirlpool of
"oh, i wonder what's on the one-track telly today?"
and only getting some advertisement for
quote unquote
"******* miraculous" Axe body spray.

i see you
distraught and disconsolate,
cold tears and hot breath,
the wooden desk beneath you
will swell and sweat
if those tears don't dry soon.
you saw your Gamorrah
burned alive;
something within you strives
to keep it,
but no.
i say, let it go.

i saw my ***** smoking,
cried cold tears
and breathed hot breath,
wailed to the heavens
"sweet redemption!
is this my reward?
a paranoid drop
and a sudden stop?"
i kept looking back
and my tears turned me
into this pillar of salt before you.
so no,
i say, let it go.

i'll admit it

i'm just trying to score some prozac;
something to supplement the steroids
that never seemed to ease the pain.
my body never
tolerated
anything they gave me:
all their alcohol distraction,
all their **** carelessness,
all their acid lifestyle,
none of it.

as for ecstasy,
i never got the dosage right:

i've been offered ersatz masterpieces
and turned them all down,
so they sacrificed their snatches to other gods,
who happily and hungrily partook in the
appetizing, dangerous bounty for which there is no cure.

i was once appeased for my lust
and committed love crimes,
so i learned not take ecstasy
until i tried the steroids.

i'll admit it

i'm just a pair of eyes
in a white ocean

this silver remembrancer
with its onyx stone,
like polished coal,
never leaves my finger.

a symbol, inescapable,
irreplaceable;
what it stands for was
inexcusable
in the highest possible degree.

i wear my black ring
to remind myself
not to say another
"*******" to every "thank you"

because now
i think you're all right

while the rain cleans the air
i cleanse my mind of the present,
future,
past:
should'ves, could'ves, would'ves
and time's tick-tock knocking
on death's door.

i shed my black shirt and blue jeans,
and put on a pair of white trunks,
and take a walk.

all the dirt drips off in droplets,
all your dirt on me is void,
all the sweat and memories
all washed away, and oh what joy
it is to see it gone!

oh what a joy it is to see it
finally gone!

the sky is gray
                      and i don't care.
you've run away
                      and i dont care.
i'm feeling free
                      and i don't care.
you love me
                      and i don't care.