I felt punch drunk.
Then i hit the floor.
However, i was too numb.
To feel the pain.
To feel the sting.
So it never hurt,
but the scars remained.

I've built this time machine ,
In hopes of reliving love.
But as I enter this monstrosity ,
I deter away and destroy it.
Not because I don't miss love,
Simply because I'll stay.
And reliving a love that already has been lived, is like loving to live when it treats you with stings.

When you say I won't ever be there.
To watch anymore sunsets, chase your fears, or even hold your hand;
It wasn't because I let your value diminish.
I simply could no longer sit there and watch you diminish mine.
Those times of care, love, and safety were beyond the heavens in the unforeseeable skies.
But what's it worth when it all seems to brittle up and die?

Would I be happy on an isolated island?
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nobody to deal with?
That's all I've ever wanted.
Maybe a guitar and some gin?
That's all I've ever wanted.

But what if I became lonely,
Desired old emotions,
And my strings began to break,
All while running out of gin?

That isn't what I want
*I guess I don't want that at all?

Missing you is simple.
The complexity lies in the reasons you won't return.

My brittle hands have been holding on way too long.
Repairing our tethered boat, which can't sustain the ocean depths.
We may not ever leave this state of being stranded.
We're better off parting; taking our chances at swimming to survival.
If we survive, it's because each one went their own way.
I'm sorry, this boat was all we had.
And I let it sink.

Your beautiful words use to serenade me into a deep and wondrous sleep.
But now it's gone and I can't even drift into the slightest dream.
*You left me to swap stories with the Boogeyman.

We write to understand, whether it be emotions, logic, or life.
We write because it's all we have.
When everyone seems gone, the mighty pen and paper never walk out of our lives.
*At least in my case.
Its all I have.

Filled with frustration,
Rage through my veins.
Confronting altercation,
In hopes of pain.

Clenching my fist,
This is unlike me.
Creating a twist,
From when I was free.

I'm no longer free,
Looking for conflict.
Why must this be ?
Am I becoming an addict?

You're leaving me out in the cold,  
All alone.
Unloved.

If you weren't so busy hating me,
maybe I could make you fall in love.

*Once Again

Forcing me to stop loving you is like ridding of the emotion altogether.
It can be done, but at the cost of loving no more.

You cry and cry and cry and cry,
But after a while, you stop crying.
It's as if you run out of tears.
Not out of hope , solely tears.
Then again after a while,
You begin to cry some more.
This goes on for some time,
Until you truly can't cry anymore.
You build a resistance, an absence of hope.
Eventually the hope goes away and so does the crying.
Of course this takes time,
But until then it's fine.
Go ahead and cry.

I'd probably take you to the forest.
Play you a nice tune,
on a foggy Afternoon.
Where the trees would sing the chorus.
It would be drastic.
To the way we'd be consumed,
possibly healing our wound.
Why aren't you enthusiastic?
*Are my efforts minuscule,
why are you letting my love be ridiculed?

You may think I've forgotten about you.
*But I haven't.

As I wipe away your dust,
I see your true value.
In my eyes, you're treasure.
While in others, you're trash.
Why don't they see your potential?
You may have had an awful past,
But you're still beautiful.
They just don't understand you
& They never will.
I won't throw you away.
Because if I were down and out,
I'd wish someone would do the same.

You take a glimpse into my eyes,
Wondering if it will be alright.
But even under the virtuous lies,
I don't know if it will be alright.
How will we ever know when we can lay our bags down?
We won't.
Then let's take a leap of faith.
&
Hope .

I await for your arrival.
Only you can save me from anything and everything.
Some might claim you to be meaningless.
But you contain all the meaning in the world.
Deep down inside you care.
After all, you save us all.
*Deus Ex Machina ;
Don't leave my heart.

When I wake up tomorrow
I hope that I will not be the man I am today.
But I will.
And that's what scares me.

Was it all really worth it?
To have some sunshine.
Yet live in the dark.
Was it all really worth it?
To enhance some times.
Yet make them less abundant.
Was it all really worth it?
It breaks my heart you lost control.
If only I could get in your mind and take over.
Show you it wasn't it worth it.
It wasn't worth it, at all.
Not the least bit, at all.

I have always wanted to be the creator of something beautiful.
Haven't we all?
I guess I just want to leave this world remembered.
Remembered with a sort of elegant beauty.
The man whom created something worthwhile.
Created something of beauty.
Yet not that simple, the beauty that is carried on for generations.
I pray to be this man.

Growing up was understanding that my dreams were further out of reach than I had ever perceived.
For the rest of my life I'd spend chasing something in which I had onced believed to be fairly simple.

*Time sure sharpens thoughts

I kissed that girl.
But did she mean anything?
Not exactly, you can say I was hurt.
Hurt by whom?
Hurt by the one I truly loved.
Yet, I let it out with pain.
Deceitful pain.
The pain that stays bickering.
The type that swells and never let's you think.
I feel like a monster.
Chasing away our last hopes.
And in the end I was sorry.
But I guess it was too late.
Our lips met for the first.
While my true love's whispered goodbye.

At least you have Love;
You were never left in despair.
No least in my Love;
We had nothing left to repair.

I tear up because there's nothing left.
Besides dirt on my jeans and memories fading.
Thoughtful mornings and aching nights.
Why did I do this?
I could have saved you.
You'd still be here with me.
Why didn't I do anything?
Why did I not care and just leave you be?
We could have enjoyed a couple more days in a nice park. Instead I forgot about you and now you're gone.
I hope ur thinking of me or looking out for me.
You were everything; I can't express.
Just help me one more time. Answer these questions.

As I lie in bed ,
questioning my subconscious.
I wonder what it is,
exactly to be conscious.
To many questions to address,
Oh how I wish I could just get some rest.