i followed, until the follower button broke and suddenly
sullenly you're verified hanging out with other pretty things
amenity people, furniture unwrapped from foreign places
making flirty faces with the next boy and the next ones after that
i followed until my patience broke and the pride flooded in
rejection swiftly came within the bucket my heart was found within
just because it feels so good, you knowing my secrets
and stalking my social media like my biggest fan
it doesn't mean a thing if i don't know you at all like i used to

enter stage left: the regret part nine hundred and seven

maybe we're too young to feel something real between us
bottles of liquor on your mini fridge, messing around
with each other's bodies all this reddened afternoon, forgetting
the crisis seems so averted when the asymptotic answer
is just forgetting it exists and you can do way better than
hanging out with me but here we are
i swear i can make it worth something for you to remember
well i'll be the one you'll take home tonight or tomorrow
in that red convertible like a weird chainsmoker song
and i'll forget it's 2017 just for the whole ride.

let's write a song together, lyrics like, "you don't love me no more
see you walk out the door, wondering why it took you so long
your cuteass in tight jeans, a curse and a blessing to watch you leave"
got an upright piano in the corner that's sort of been neglected
and it plays every other C out of tune, but we can't afford a tuner
to come by and nor can we buy new strings for a guitar

we get up, we fall down, we find love, and we crash all the way
and heaven help us, now that we're separate and on our own
love the route it takes us to a melancholy mood that's so particular
and so comfortable to be wrapped up in an ocean of blankets
under a crepuscular night~ play that song all night and have it repeat
when you're at work and it'll burn itself in the background forever

i wish i was something immutable or indestructible of fountains
and of young **** yielding grass laying youth country USA
stargazing, in a plaid shirt even though i'm a city girl trying to get more
acquainted with your southern drawl and a bit of your memory
you're out on bond and the first thing you do is call your momma
hurt somebody bad because they messed with her
that turns me on a little bit like the hay in your truck's bed
life's been kind of bright red like my lips and i'm not down with tricks
but i can afford clothes now and my parents don't talk to me anymore
dusk is here but you don't have to worry anymore
and you're hot like the August asphalt, lines in my cheeks from laughing
with you
no plea deals and no instagram pics, low lights and maybe more bright red
less stagnant and more comfortable with the visions of love and life

Let's get out of here, go out to orbit one another
and fall in fractal patterns to the ground and never pick up
where we left off, something makes me laugh about the ephemeral
state that our affair tonight is, we go to Portland for drinks
and suddenly I'm feeling your heavy lips on my own
and it's like I always wanted you to stop talking about yourself
talking about me talking about your business your wife
and how cool your ride is, but I can't imagine the cards falling
into the floor face down and against yours without these games
tomorrow's going to be a lot hotter than today and the night
I'll promise to make it hotter if you shut up and kiss me again

I got all the things I need I still want problems though
I don't want to go to funerals, friends not even getting old and going out early
am I really a real person anymore? Self-destructive
so selfish, I know there's pictures of me smiling still
and the cargo pants pink polo craze you went through,
streets shining gold and I'm still red like a kite though
just skateboarded and landed in a new job modeling glow
I'm glad my phases had to go and I can't describe my life when asked
by my mom about it, just bought some clothes
so I can look bomb at the club but I keep that on the low
I just want to be burdened instead of being one
Want to be insecure about things because my mind is broken
got to stop seeing things the way they are and embrace the fold
I'm sending xoxo's anyways, step dad too, I'm undoing myself
even if I don't even want to lose things I don't have

If there's one thing that's consistent in this broken up
world it's the music, it cleanses my soul and I've been addicted
since and everything else in my life is falling apart
and you want to get me high, way up there in the stars
flashing from the lights above our head
I just want to forget it all and get lost in the fog, set me on fire
and throw your body away from mine and pull right back
occlusion of the smoke's got me thinking about nothing
in party particular, partially unaware and these leaping forms
got nothing on the sweetness of the bitter crowded club at 1am

Wild, wild grass and wild, wicked smile, heavy
wooden barn burning off the hip for us to see, same barn
we made love in, views of red and blue firetruck lights
forever burnt, engraved inside my head, days so hot things
catch sparks in the nights when we come to life again
remember how we couldn't afford clothes (well, still can't)
so we all partied in the ****, skinny dip in the lake and a flame
snuck off with Johnny somewhere, but glad no animals lived
inside that barn for years now and the country is where I belong---

telephone poles to nowhere, blue skies, rolling yellow grassy hills
and water towers occasionally, your wild and wicked smile
next to me in the van with our friends doing our time on the road
but a burning barn can't crush our spirits more than they already are
can't ruin the memories of a number of electrified nights
of alcohol and poor decisions, broken people collecting
each other's pieces.