take my tears as they trail down the rawness and edges of my skin,
wash them over your long gone corpse
  make them a remedy
for the battle scars
I was never able to heal

How are mom and dad doing?
I haven’t heard from them since the letters I last wrote,
I easily find time slipping away from me, no matter how hard I try to grasp it,
You’re my one constant.
I remember how we used to poke fun at one another,
As we watched the world around us crumble…
Laughing so carelessly,
But it seems that now all I can notice is the bad that surrounded us,
The bad that surrounded home.

Dear Father…
I think it’s funny how a single fragment of a memory can come back with such force.
A blunt shock of energy that sends you into either joy, or desire…
Saying I could handle this would be a falsehood.
But sometimes I find myself grasping at the thin rays of light… hope...
Mother responded to my letter last night,
Did she show you what I had written?
My words contain nothing but the truth, yearn etched into fragments of a sentence,
Hope laced into the sweetness of every word.
I would come back, just to feel the refuge of home…
But coming back to you all would be a lie to myself.

But why is it that when I hear that dangerous whisper of “i love you,”
I wind up crawling back to a place /I know/ I don’t belong,
Over and over again.

Oh sweet family,
There’s good in the world,
Just like there is bad,
And I think i’m ready to find it.

i dream of falling into your endless promises,
gripping onto the sturdy buoyancy of your words,
feeding off of the soft whispers, that aid in keeping me afloat.

but why do i find myself drowning time and time again?

Pin the baubles and decor on her,
Drape her in satin and lace,
Watch the discomfort flowing through her veins,
Sadness on her pretty little face.

Admire the hidden pain,
As she recoils from the touch of your hand.
All hints of purity, long ago slain.

will you search for me?
falling into an endless abyss, success a mere illusion,
guided by greed's tantalizing touch,
in vain trying to find me on the day I do not return.