I know you’re right,
Yeah, I know it’s true
I’m a messed up a guy,
With some messed up moods,
But can you really say,
You never though I loved you?
I loved you then, and I still love you now
I know it might hurt
Cause I know you hate me now
I know you never loved me back, and that’s fine
Through all the lies and misery,
You at least used to make me happy
And I don’t think you’re bad at heart
Flash just got me going from the start
If I never see you again,
Can you at least pretend that you cared?
That if we meet in heaven, it’ll be more than just awkward stares?
I don’t know about you,
But I’m feeling pretty down
And I don’t have you to turn it around
I guess it’s good,
That you hate me now…
Won’t have to worry so much about
All my pain and suffering, just laugh them off instead
I’m a joke,
I guess I always knew it
But it hurt to see you laugh behind my back,
Just didn’t know you could be like that…
Deserved it a million times over, sure,
But that doesn’t make it easier

I guess I might be the worst person in the world
And I hope ya get a kick out of it
Maybe just,
Laugh a little bit
You know I’ll be waiting

I don’t care if it takes years,
Maybe it’ll take more
But you’re something worth waiting for
I don’t need your love again,
But is there that chance we could still be friends?
I know you don’t care,
And no one else does, so I don’t blame you
But you said you cared once, was none of that true?

You know I cried
Many nights
Trying to make the wrong things right
I never could get a hold on them,
Losing track of my mind again
I thought you’d always be there for me…
But I was wrong to hope, I see
I guess you were fake anyways,
At least that’s what your friend had to say
And maybe I shared too much with you,
Since you would cut me off if you wanted to
And ya did

I know I sound crazy,
That’s only cause I am
I’d change it if I could,
But changing isn’t something I can do,
Even if it was for you

But please, just tell me if you ever cared
If you loved me like I loved you then,
If you weren’t just lying for the fun of it
I’d like to think that I meant something to you
Something I no longer do
So maybe in a year or two,
We could be friends again

When I wake up,
I wanna cry
Shout out and ask god why
Why do I have to be insane,
Have this messed up thing for a brain
I wish I was normal sometimes
Cause normal people don’t seem to wanna die
And I’m not gonna lie, that sounds nice enough to me

I hope you know I live you,
You’re what’s holdin me together,
Keepin me alive
When I think of you I know,
I must’ve done something right
Cause not everyone gets lucky like me
Getting something he doesn’t deserve for free

Maybe it’s not really for free,
Cause life has it pains and ecstasy
It just seems to make me laugh and cry before it makes me bleed
I just wish this pain would go away, or at least hold itself at bay
Cause it’ll never be right; never be quite the same
Sometimes,
I just wish I could cry
So I knew I was still alive
Not yet dead inside
Like they always remind

And every once in a while,
I’ll try to deny
But I always know that they’re right
No matter how much you fight
It’s not a matter of time; it’s a matter of spite
And they got a lot of that, alright

I know you say you love me,
And I love you too
And god, I hope when you say it it’s true
Cause I don’t mean much anymore without you
And I wouldn’t have it be any other way,
I don’t care that I’m insane
And I don’t think you do, either

I
Just want to cry
To remind myself that I’m alive,
That I’m not quite dead inside
I wish I could restart my life
Push a button, make it right
Crying is all I want to do
I know it’s the only thing that’s true
Cause everything else is used against you
Every day and every night
Sleep is hard, it’s no surprise
And shallow when it does arise
Why can’t I sleep forever?
Live in dreams of bliss
Live some fake happiness
It’s better than this hell

I know I said I’d always be there
Why can’t you do the same for me?
I try every time
To be the best that I can be
So why?
Why’d ya never do anything I need?

You know I’d do anything for you
I keep telling you it’s true
I’d die a thousand times,
A thousand painful ways
A thousand painful days

You take it all for granted, leave me on my knees
I know if I was dying, you’d leave me there to bleed
I try to make you understand
But you leave me there, walking away

I always came back, no matter how you were to me
I know you don’t care, cause you never see
Why do they always matter more than me?
Don’t you know that you mean the most to me?
Can’t you tell me what wrong with me?
I know it’s there, but it’s too dark to see,
Hidden in dark memories

It's like, why?
But never answered
Never even a question
This spell that I'm under
Another time
Another reason why
Another question
Still no answers
Why?
I'm still wondering why
Still asking why
You don't know my pain,
You don't see my cry

​
I'm tired of it now.
It was never good anyways.
Why can't it just fall?
Why can't I burn it all?

You're not like a ghost upon a wall
Because you're not even there at all;
You're not invisible,
You just don't exist

Like a fallen god,
Nailed to my crucifix
I wish I was loved,
But that would be to much, wouldn't it?

If only I could take it away...
If only I could make them pay...
Why is there no other way?
Can't I live to see another day?

One bullet in the chamber,
I wish I could save it for later
The blade up against my neck,
I can't put aside what hap[pens next

You were always there for me,
But haven't you seen what I can be?
Why would you waste so much time,
When I know you could be happy?

You've wasted so much time,
I wish I could make it a crime,
But you never listen to me, would ya?

Every time I see you there,
I wish I could make myself not care,
Trust me, you make it so hard to take a fall,
Why can't I just ***** it all?

You know how I joke about russian roulette?
Well trust, I haven't done it yet
And when I decide I can't stand my life,
The chamber won't be missing a single bullet

Is it now?
Is this the end?
Why can't it just happen yet?
It's not death I fear,
It's what's left

I wish it was nothing,
Oh trust me, I try,
I try to believe it every time
The gun to my head,
the knife to my throat,
I try not to cry

Why can't you hate me?
Oh, just let me leave
Why do you care if I cry or bleed?
Please, stop caring, stop loving me,
So when I die I can do so peacefully

​
​​Voices, voices,
All the time,
Dark, darker voices,
Voices of mine,
Voices, voices,
To mess up my mind
Voices more voices, more all the time
Voices and voices and voices aligned

I really wonder, what's the point?
they're like the ocean,
While I'm like a knee joint
You may find that weird but I promise it's true,
They bend and break me till I snap in two

Why are they here?
I wish others could see
The things that these voices do to me
I cry out,
And they laugh
It doesn't matter the pain in the aftermath
If I died, they would jovially rejoice,
And I would too, if they were out of my mind

They call em insane and they call me psychotic,
Do they not know how the words hurt?
It doesn't matter how I seem to them,
Forever and ever, I can't always bend
So I silently cry wishing for the end

They always said I had a lack of emotion,
Yet never understood my mind's complex locomotion,
Or how to love, I practice utmost devotion

Why do they haunt me?
Take him instead
Why do they haunt me from all ends?
There's no escaping form what's in my mind,
I know that because they're there all the time

Please someone help?
Get them out of my head...
Why h why, can't I just be dead?
They whisper so quietly, sometimes I forget,
But they always come back before I can take a rest
Even sleep haunts me now, the little that I get,
Every second I'm down is a second I regret
Things could get better, I guess
But somehow that's something it never gets

Voices, voices,
All the time,
Dark, darker voices,
Voices of mine,
Voices, voices,
To mess up my mind
Voices more voices, more all the time
Voices and voices and voices aligned

The voices indeed do whisper to me,
Convinced I should do this deed,
So I pull the trigger and out of my head I do bleed