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And it starts,
With a choice of mine
And it burns,
Through this heart of mine
Why can't I love you both?
Tell me why it's so gross
Why is it wrong,
What is it wrong with me?
Why can't I be the way I want to be?
See you the way I want to see?
Bleed the way I want to bleed?

You know I hate how it is
You know I wish I could change it
But you know I hate changing

You know I love you both,
It doesn't matter if I love you the most
It still hurts, burns inside
Every night, it makes me cry

Just because I love you more,
Doesn't mean it won't hurt me too
Even if she hates me after it,
It'll tear my heart in two
Cause even if I care more for you,
I can't stop loving her too

Even when I want to lie,
with you I always say what's true,
at least to me,
maybe not to you

Every single word I've said,
I hate every one, every time,
But when I'm with I don't have to wonder why,
You give some purpose to my life,
Even if only in your arms I am to die,
It's better than what I had when I lived a lie

​
​​just dragging along,
time taking it's toll
Just hearing this song,
It's growing old
It's not that I hate it,
It's that I hate what it means

Every time,
They always sing
Every time,
I get tired of it, it gets tired of me

No matter when it's sung,
It's always the same to me
No matter who sings it,
It's always the same beat

Always going on,
It still feels wrong
Oh, can I just go home

Oh my god,
what have you done,
And I leave,
On the ocean

I make mistakes,
yes I see,
You want perfection?
Perfection's not for me
You wanna know,
What I see
Well I see the future,
And it's not good for me

Standing on a mountain top,
The sky is caving in,
But I will remain the honest soldier
Living life is such a pain,
I say it all the time
Trust me the last I want to do is whine
But I can't even move forward,
It hurts me, oh it's fine

if I say it enough,
will it become true?
Cause I know life is tough,
And I don't want to lose you

I hear this song,
it hurts everyday
I just wish I could,
Could find some other way

i hear voices, hear them all the time
Why can't I just tell you it's fine?
If I do it enough, will it all be alright?
If I go deaf, can they stop getting inside?
I tried to lock the door, it gets even worse
I try to sleep they mock me even more
Why don't they think I know I'm bad?
I know every wrong thing I've done
Why can't they just accept the fact?
Why don't they see they've already won?

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And she spoke life into my bones,
From dust into fire
And she spoke life into my bones,
From death to life

The words she says,
They mean so much more to me
The things she says,
I wish they all could see

When life's been draggin' me down,
She always seems to turn me around
When only thorns seem to be my crown,
She turns my world upside and out

I wondered how much worse I could be,
Then she walked into my life
I was on that downward spiral,
We all go down every once in a while
If I was in hell before, I'm in heaven now
And I don't even know how
But she gives me life,
Every time she makes me smile

Everybody knows that pain,
You don't want to die in vain
You want to mean something,
Something more than the rest,
To put you up with the best
Never knowin' if you're up to the test

And she said it and it was done,
Shining brighter than the stars and the sun
And she said it and it was done,
Setting fire in my soul

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I was down, down,
I was on my way to hell
Redemption was I lie, that sinners told themselves
I was hopeless, yeah,
No hope for myself,
I was hopeless, yeah,
No hope for anybody else

What was I doing, I wish I knew
I never knew love, until I knew you
You saved me,
From this pain inside.
I know you love me,
And I think of you all the time
Cause when I think of you,
I know it all will be fine

And now you have to go,
I just want you to know,
I love you more than life
And now I have to leave,
But thoughts of you won't let me be,
And for me that's alright

Cause you give me, hope
When I could only hope for hell
And you gave me, love
When I could not love myself
And you give me, strength,
To do it by myself
Cause when I'm living strong,
I know I'm doing it for someone else

Should I just along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else.



I know I make mistakes,

They're gonna haunt me to my grave

I know I'm not the best,

Not any better then the rest

So I sit here and stare all night,

Searching for something that feels right



I hope, I hope, I hope for the best,

I hope so much more than all the rest

Is it enough?

I wish I knew,

I kneel and pray till my face turns blueI know I'm not the best,

Not any better than the rest

But ya gotta know when I say,

I wish I could just take away my pain

It hurts every time,

I scream and shout, and I cry



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else...



I listen to sweet songs of black and blue,

To sick tunes of love so true...

I wish, I wish, I wish I knew,

I play this song on repeat so much my ears go deaf,

No sweet melody can repair what's left

I know I'm not the best,

Not any better than the rest

I want to know what's right,

I want to give up without a fight

I have no energy to even see

No energy to resist as I bleed...



I give in to the energies...

I finally give in and secede...

Life was always to much for me,

I never saw it till I could bleed

I wish I would just be brought down to my knees,

The headman's axe is all I need...



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with anybody else



That always was the problem, anyways

I was always the one to hate,

Myself in all my spit and rage

And so I strike upon this wall,

slowly numbering my days

5750 is what I'm at,

I sit and ponder that

Why have I lived so long,

How, when my mind is so far gone

How did I ever get along



I think of days long passed,

Days long gone,

I think of all my good and wrong,

I know that through all the pain I have,

The love gets me through,

In a world of lies, that is always true

Like a dark rose in my life,

It is forgiven in my mind

Hating myself never got me anywhere

Loving others was what kept me there

It's what keeps me here now,

What makes me drag myself around



I  don't want to cry,

But as I write, it comes through my eyes

I don't know anymore,

I don't know what I'm here for



Two points for honesty,

You told the truth that makes me see,

even when it makes me scream,

and cry and kick and bleed



Poison in everything you say,

don't you, don't you,

wonder what difference does it make...

either way...



I love you, I love you, I love,

And all of your pieces



My ears are blown to bits, from all the rifle hits,

but still I crave that sound



Higher and higher, we're gonna take it,

Down to the wire



It was only a kiss,

It was only a kiss



What is it?

What is this?

Is this hate?

Or is it bliss?

What can't I see?

What have I missed?

Is it me?

Am I a piece of **?



why oh why,

I weep, I cry,

I wonder,

I wonder why,

I forgive you, please,

Stop this in my head,

I've forgiven you,

I wish I was dead



Like a dark rose inside my head,

I forgive you, please, just go ahead

Hurt me, **** me, make me cry,

I deserve the pain, I won't wonder why

When I bleed,

When i die



Should I just get along with myself?

I never did get along with myself,

I never did see what I saw in anybody else,

Only the tears running down my face

I want to cry,

I want to scream,

The things I do make me want to die,

The people I'm with make me wonder why

Why do the ones who say they love me hurt me the most?

Why do I hate them more than satan himself?

But I sit in my room, I silently bleed,

My arms with scratches adorning them

It doesn't make me happy, but the pain is better than being with them

If only I could convince myself to live

Maybe if I was funny or smart

Or kind or good looking

Or anything at all

Besides cruel, evil, sinful

But I am what I am

And I am cursed with hate

For it I bleed, for it I cry

For it I scream, for it I die

I won't regret the end of me,

I just hope those I love won't have to see

The coward that hid inside of me

All this sorrow,

All this pain,

Regarded with complacent disdainI could have everything in life,

I'd be just as insane



Love isn't the problem,

This one ain't worth solving



Blood sweat and tears is what you give,

In in return, you get a rusty shiv

In the center of your back, as the world fades to black

Like a horror movie you'd see on a big screen,

All you want to do is scream

But you can't even do that, they have you chained down

For the amusement of kings, with a rusted crown

You've done nothing wrong, except being born,

And for that your mind apart has been torn

The sickest of men are the ones who delight

In the pain and suffering of those too weak to fight

A smile slides across their face,

The blood flows in disgrace

Beaten to death, for the pleasure of the few,

Those who laugh at what is left of you

The world shall burn with the sin in this place,

The world shall be torn apart with such haste

All powerful men on one subject agree,

Only the mighty know what it is like to be free