I said it, I know
A million times or more
And I know you can’t trust me, but I’ll say it some more
I love, more than anything else
I know I messed up, and **** I can’t forget
Everything I could have done to prevent it
All those times
All those laughs
I guess they’re all gone now
I wish I had some hope for the future
Some drive to live
I wish I had something else
Something for me to give
I’ve wasted all my time, I’ve wasted all my life
I want to die, but I can’t
I mess up so often I don’t know why you haven’t given up yet
I say I’ll change; I try to mean it this time
I don’t know if I can do it
Staying alive is hard enough when I’m happy
I might as well go burn in hell
For all the good I’m doing here
Hurt pain and more mistakes
They hurt me more than they could every say
But I’m still wrong it’s all my fault,
Hate me more and say I’m wrong
A million and one ******* times
It’ll never be the same, oh it’ll never be the same
They could forgive me, but why would they try?
They’d me grab a gun and die
It’ll never be the same, I’ll always feel insane
I walk around the earth like I’m having fun,
When all I wants a chance to make it all numb
It happened once twice way too many times
I almost felt like I was alright
One mistake and then I’m done
Why am I the only one who can’t feel numb?
I just want to end it, end it please
But no I can’t, I can’t end it here
I’ll make it better, to god I swear
When no one else could ******* care
You’re here even though you don’t want to be,
I still don’t know what you see in me

When they did something bad, it’s still alright
I have to put down the knife
Forgive them for every single thing,
Ruining the one thing that made me happy
Promised and broke it a thousand times
But I should’ve have trusted you?
Give me a reason why
I know I’m ugly, I look like a ****
While you’re sitting on a throne as a hypocrite
I’m the one who’s wrong; you’re perfect in every way
I must not be able to feel any pain
You’re perfect in every single way, call yourself ugly just to get my praise
Lie just to get away from me, laugh in my pain; in glee as I bleed
I can’t fix anything, you never wanted me too
Lied just to make yourself seem cool
Crushing every ounce of what I had
But of course I have no right to be mad
You’re still perfect in every way, and now I’m the one who’s ******* insane
I told a million and one times
Now you believe me, after all this time
As I walk along with haunted eyes
You haven’t eaten in a day, and I supposed to believe you again?
You betrayed my trust like I did yours, but only I can see your flaws
I see every single wrong thing you did, but say a single one and I’m a hypocrite
Tell everyone I cared about everything I’ve done,
Of course now you think you’ve won
Lost all trust and lost your love,
Aren’t you glad I’m so ****** up?

It’s only been a few days
That’s how I’m living my life
It’s only been a few years
I’ve lost some love,
I’ve lost some time
I still hate myself
But I’m still trying to hide
I used to try to take it away
This pain inside
Now all the ones I used to love
Tell me I’m despised
Well thanks for that, you ****** up too
If I make a mistake, you make two
So shut your mouth and burn in hell
Oh, it’s all so swell

When all is dark
I need some light
I need something to make it right
And you’re always here for me

Even your eyes
Shine brighter than a million stars in the sky
No sun could be brighter,
Even heaven doesn’t have your appeal

Nothing’s ever shined like you
No one’s ever loved me like you do
All those things I said
You’ve got to know that they’re true
Cause I love everything about you

You made me take it back
Cause there is love in this world
And it’s not what I’d of thought
There is beauty in this world
Cause I see it in your face
And I see it in your grace

And it still hurts
But you take my pain away
And I still bleed, still cry out in pain
But you make me cry these tears of joy
You make everything right

Someone who won’t leave me feeling
Disappointed
And I’ve found that in you

Just one last time
I wanted to make things right…
I never do it
Like I do it in my mind
Oh, just one single time
Just wanted to do it right
But there’s always a fight…
I hope I’ll do it right one day

I’ll,
See you in heaven
See you in hell
Every day I’m alive is a day that ain’t so well
I wish I could fix every mistake I made
I wish I could just take away the pain

And why
Oh, I don’t know why
It makes me want to cry
Every day I want to die
And why
A million and more times
I just can’t do it right
I’ll fix it all one day

When’d
Ya learn I’m not alright?
That I can’t even go a night
Without screaming out in pain

Oh
I’ll do it all myself
Cause I ain’t got nobody else
I wish I could say I did

I wish
I wish I had a life
One that would inspire
One that I’d be proud to show today
Not this one I’d give away

****, I’ve got this restless mind
Won’t give me any time
I just want to go away

I’d
Give my life
If I knew I’d make a difference
I’m tired of being a lie
I’d die
A thousand and more times
If I could just see her smile
Before the pain takes me away

And I hate myself
And everything I’ve ever done
I’m tired of these stupid songs
I’m tired of myself

I
Can’t even be myself
Liking men sets me apart from everything else
I’m glad I can lie today

I hope that no one else
Will ever know this pain
Cause it’s driving me insane
Seeing shadows all the time
All the ****** time

And when I want to end myself
I know it won’t change anybody else
But I feel so selfish not doing enough
Doing enough for all the other ones
The ones I love so much
I hope they love me in return

I thought it was my life
Building and tearing down out of strife
I thought you loved in another way
But I think it’s better today
And even though it hurts a lot
I can bear the pain

If the world’s at large,
Why should I remain?
But I can’t leave my town
And it’s so hard to change these ways
But I’ll still float on,
Won’t you understand?

I know I’m not making the most
My mind, it feels like I’m a ghost
I need something to make me feel a little less insane
Even though I’m not in the ocean,
I’m still in this undertow

I thought I was out of my mind
But why are you in it all the time?
I wish I could act like I didn’t care
But I don’t wanna be a liar anymore
So I lay on this wooden floor
Trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away

That’s no way to live
They always say the things I hate to hear
****, it’s a sin to be this queer
I try to be good
I try to do things right
I always to seem to end up in a fight
I never wanted to lie
I never wanted you to make me cry

Why can’t I just live my life?
I always seem to be full of lies
I don’t wanna tell them to you
I stopped, that’s true
I’m sorry for all that stuff I did
I didn’t mean it when I said I hated you
I hope you were lying too

Can’t even be myself
Not like my parents help
‘Always here for you’ that much is true
But it’s the bad things they always seem to do
Give me help?
No, just make me depressed
Love myself?
No, I’m just a *****
Tell you I’m gay,
You tell me I can’t feel that way
I guess I’m just stuck in sin

It was the darkest night
But you were there, right by my side
Made me love things I always thought I’d hate
A few bad things happened to change

I’ll never tell you about my problems anymore,
I think it’s for the best or I’d do it some more
But even in the brightest light,
Evil comes and then the night
Devours all that you can see,
Taken what is left of me
I’m not the same person you loved
There’s barely anything left

The truth is, I was never meant for the light anyways
The sunlight only ever brought me pain
And when the darkness came, it never left me the same
At best, I like it a cloudy time,
At worst with pouring rain
But it always seemed to turn to night
One thing that gets worse, it’s always the pain…

The night was something I never liked
But I seem to make it myself
I hate myself for it
I never thought I’d be here, in this place
I kind of wish there was some pouring rain
Cause sunlight is too bright for an eye that is always used to the night
I wish my eyes would adjust,
But it’s been too long for me
Perfection in daylight…
Something I’ll never see
I wish I could stay with the sunset always in my eyes
But it always passes too quickly,
And I wish I’d die
Never, never, never
I wish things could just be alright

I know I ruined thing between us,
It’ll never be the same, cause we’ll never trust
And I won’t try to get it back
Cause I don’t deserve it
And I’ll never try to get back your love,
Even though it’s something that I could never have enough

When I was in pain,
You made things right
When god seemed far away,
You were in sight
And even though I’m afraid of the dark,
You were always the perfect night

I know you loved her more than me,
But that’s something I couldn’t see
And happy’s what I’d never be,
If it was like that

I just go over it and over it again and again and again
And now I’m done

I’m tired of thinking these thoughts inside my head,
Wanting always to be dead
I’m tired of living my life like I’m not alive,
And now I’m done

If I could take it back,
Every lie and time I cried,
And every time I wish I died,
I wouldn’t
Cause now I’m done

Done with feeling like I should listen to them
Worst person in the world, why should I care?
I’m gonna live life like normal, that must be fair
Take what I get and throw it in the air
I don’t even know when I started, so long ago
Always these claws tearing at my throat
Pain in my lungs, as I wake, sleep, cry
And now I’m done