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v Jul 2022
when you meet someone new you can’t help but to be mesmerised

their eyes - their smile - their voice

captivated by their presence

but you don’t know if it was mutual

before the emotional attachment inevitably comes expectations

even if they weren’t by choice

so it does not matter either way

the let down would be different than if there were prior attachments

but you would be let down just the same
v Jun 2022
she’s left me stranded

all alone - isolated

gone to explore the freedom that she did not have

the freedom that she lacked from being tied down

she told me she would choose me - yet she did not

so i have been left stranded

all alone on this island
v Oct 2018
love is not a bed of roses

because looks may be deceiving

it may look attractive and inviting

beautiful petals, bold and red

however laying upon it, you would sink into the thorns

the pain of being impulsive

the pain of taking the easy way out

love is more like a bed of needles

it may appear painful at first

being tied down, sacrificing your hobbies, time, money

but laying upon it would show stability

and the best relationships overcome their hardships

for the greater good

for each other
v Jul 2022
cleaning up my things

and the things you left behind

the things that belonged to us both together

the things i did not want to find

i look back at our time together

i look back at them fondly

yet it leaves a bitter feeling in my chest

a feeling i do not wish to have
v Mar 2018
you think you're in control

you think you can do whatever you're want

my very existence proves that you're can't

strapped on this chair thats bolted to the ground

i've brought a bat with me

sturdy, sound

swing - snap - scream

i love that voice, the noise

it brings music to my ears

scream to the heavens for help

but they will not find you here

swing - crack - groan

you're being messy

you've smeared my bat with your blood

letting it pool onto the floor

i need to teach you a lesson

just a few more

swing - thud - fall

your head droops over your chest

you look like you're about to break

that's good

you took my love away from me

ordered them to do things for your benefit

i don't do that

i know respect

you don't respect them that way

so i will teach you what respect is

with my bat that's covered with your blood stains
an old piece that follows the same style as one of my previous poems
box
v Sep 2023
box
should i be given a box

filled with all the items that i have lost

i would look to see if you were present

not so that i could see you again

but to make sure you weren’t there
only box she gets is gonna have a ring in it
v Jun 2019
673 billion breaths in a lifetime

but the moments where we are truly living

are the moments that take our breath away
v Dec 2017
rap tap tap

you hear the trees rustling against the window

rap tap tap

you hear the water dripping in your sink

rap tap tap

you hear the ticking of the clock

rap tap tap

footsteps on the floor

rap tap tap

hes standing by your door
a different pace and genre compared to my usual writing but i wanted to see what i'm capable of producing
v Dec 2017
blood - flesh - tears - pus

beg for my mercy

beg for forgiveness

i will slowly run my blade across your skin

slowly peel the nails off your fingertips

bleed - cry - scream

beg for for me to end it

beg for me to stop

as i rip the hair off your scalp

as i gut you inside out

i want to **** you

but slowly

make you feel every little bit of pain as you scream

scream my name

as i **** you

in this dark room

filled with pieces of you
v Jan 2018
when a door closes, another reveals itself

doors close when you fail to satisfy the requirements to help it stay open

you did not study hard enough

you did not try hard enough

you did not work hard enough

but what happens when a door closes itself when you did
v Mar 2019
"brothers in arms", that's what you said we were
when we got into trouble, we went in together to face the world
but when it came down to it, you threw me under
convicted; for a crime i didn't commit
v Dec 2017
writing doesn't help

it makes me feel the pain better

and in turn

worse
v Jan 2018
they say we create our own demons

things we fear, things we possess

ego, pride, envy, hopelessness

but the demon that corrupts me most

the one that constantly haunts me

every second

of every day

causing sleepless nights

is the love that i have for you
v Jul 2019
they say drowning is the worst way to die

you hold your breath as long as you can

but your lungs give out as you gasp for air

but you know it's a lie

water begins to fill your lungs

you're choking and your mind screams for help

but nobody comes

in the dark abyss of the ocean
keeping a theme among the past few titles
v Jul 2022
to say that i dont know where to begin would be an understatement

so i will just write what comes to mind

to let the words flow through me

and let it bleed through the tip of my pen
v Oct 2022
good luck on your search

sifting through the dirt for fool’s gold

looking for a partner that can shine bright enough

just bright enough to match the gold you thought you had

the gold you’ve now lost
v Jun 2022
there is a fine line between sacrifice and compromise

but for me, it did not matter

because the decisions i made for you was worth it

your joy was mine, and so was your sorrow

this, however, was not the same for you

my suffering was mostly my own

maybe my dependency on you for my own happiness was what led me to my own downfall

so for that, i have but a single message for you

and it is that i wish for you to always know unhappiness
v Dec 2017
you don't need to love yourself for others to love you

ignore what they said; for you are beautiful

you may not see it now; nor will you see it later

but i believe you will discover yourself

layer by layer

so keep at it; try your best

it's okay not to love yourself just yet

but i urge you to realize that even if you do not

know that you would be in the heart

in someone else's chest
earlier today i was harrassed by another author for my style of writing and this is my response. i was deeply affected by what they said and i hope anyone reading this stays strong for whatever hardships that meet them.
v Dec 2022
should she visit my grave after i pass

let her be

let her walk up to where i was buried

and watch how her presence would bring me life
v Dec 2017
how much would i love it

without you by my side

i could go anywhere at any time

but without you there i would feel lost

wherever you are

thats where i will be happiest

even in the scorching deserts of Egypt

and the darkest vacuum of space

wherever you are

thats where i would be happiest
v Aug 2022
when i say i hate liars

i mean those that lie to hide their shame

the lies meant to protect their image

the lies that leave a hole in your chest

the ones that cause you pain

when i say i hate liars

i don’t mean those with little white lies

the lies that hide mischievous cheekiness

the lies that that lead to good surprises

the ones where love remains
v Jan 2019
there are but 2 reasons to be an educator;

one is to teach them about your successes,

to tell them how much you have conquered through perseverance and hardwork

about how you climbed the tallest of mountains and explored the deepest of waters

the other is to teach them about your failures,

about how you were beat down and how you lost everything

about how you were pushed into the dirt

that sometimes gritting your teeth and putting your all amounts to nothing

but you stand tall, in a room full of unlimited potential

helping along thirty unique personalities in the span of a year

how they can learn from your victories and the times you were forced to concede

so that one day, they may strive to be greater men
v Dec 2017
i'm mad

you didn't choose me

i should've tried harder to be

i shouldn't be the one on my knees

i'm mad

you chose them

they were there for you; but i wasn't there not because i decided to

i'm mad

they bring you out a lot

they can meet you everyday while i'm stuck in training - to be better at my career

i'm sad

i should've tried harder

should've found ways for us to be together

i'm sad

they can be with you every second of the day


while im stuck here in a training course where i'm forced to stay

but i'm glad

that you were finally able to choose

even though it meant that i had to lose
v Aug 2022
how confident are you that you would live to see tomorrow?

because every single moment following this day promised

so treasure the gift of the present

for you may not wake to see beyond the barrow
v Sep 2018
looking into the future, i see nothing

no light, no start, no happy ending

a darkness that consumes hope

death, debt and broken dreams

what's so good about the future

because all i see is a broken me
v Dec 2017
do you know how

in dreams

we create everything from our thoughts

from the tallest of trees to the smallest grains of sand

if this life was a dream

then you are the best thing i've ever thought of creating

the most stunning of sunsets could never diminish the sparkle in your eyes

the most melodious of canaries could not match the sweetness of your voice

not even the most beautiful of flowers could challenge the beauty that you possess

the darkest reaches of the oceans could not be compared to the depth of my love for you

but sometimes we lose our train of thought

and so i've lost you
im new at this so forgive me if i make any mistakes
v Nov 2022
people say, ”you can’t love someone before you love yourself”

and i feel like that advice comes from a very broken place

perhaps those who give this advice would either not have gone through trauma

or not have fully healed from it

not all of us are strong enough to have loved ourselves first

we might not have found our own worth

but maybe in loving and being loved back

would help us realise the value within

the values that those who love us see that we have yet to ourselves
it’s okay if you find it hard to be kind to yourself. but it doesn’t mean you can’t find and love someone who can be.
v Jan 2018
my heart is your mirror

for when you shift your gaze upon it

all you would see is yourself
v Jan 2018
always said to be an option

always said he would be chosen

always working to be the best

but always ending up in second
back to my normal stuff
v Sep 2023
read a note that was written to me

of someone whom i hold close

yet now they feel distant

their words felt desperate as if grasping for help

yet their words were of encouragement

hoping the best for me

i remember them feeling alone

feeling like i was all they had

they wanted to be saved

they knew i couldn’t

so all i could do was write a note for future me
v Dec 2022
they say that not every house is a home

that not every house provides you safety and comfort

but what happens when your home is a person

what happens when they leave and never return
v Jul 2020
you did your best; but it wasn’t enough

but it was your best

you put your all

every ounce of effort

even if it was not perfect

it’s as perfect as you can put out
v Nov 2022
we are our own galaxy in the universe that is life

hurtling through space in an endless race

and in this universe sometimes galaxies may intersect trajectories

the explosive chaos that ensues when we find someone new is exciting and full of both pain and wonder

but not all galaxies end after they meet

sometimes they pass through each other after losing countless stars and systems

never truly a whole galaxy again

because when you lose someone, they take away their stars with them
v Aug 2022
growing up i have always thought that how mature a person may be was not tied to age

however as i am now i think it could be

i believe now that age does have a tie to maturity

maybe not directly but as a causality

what comes with age is experience

so those who experience more when they were younger

age faster
v Jul 2019
my biggest problem is that i'm the smallest problem

as a drill instructor, i am physically the most miniature of my colleagues

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

a group of trainees confronted me, a whole squad

they told me they felt disrespected by how i treated them even though i treated them as how any instructor would

they surrounded me, all thirty of them, all with fists clenched and ready to have a go

i did not back down, i stood tall

as tall as i could

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"as an adult, you should show us a little more respect. as an adult, you should be better. this is just for your reference - Sir."

they were all smiling, at least half of them towering over me

they think i'm just some kid just because they were bigger than me

"the standards of your drills has to be better," i replied. "as future officers i need you to be better."

they all looked at me, down on me

i refuse to let the standards of officers under my charge fall

but they refused to let an instructor half their size tell them anything at all
v Dec 2017
pretty little kitten

all dolled up

going out i reckon

but i noticed i was not called

pretty little bird

all dressed in pink

looking good in that shirt

but i cannot recall you asking me for a meeting

pretty little dove

getting ready to go out

with them i presume

walking about; clutching arms
v Jan 2018
i've found someone to click with

it was so natural it felt like we were two pieces to a puzzle

with a picture that shows two people who were best friends, lovers

it showed how comfortable they were with each other

and even though they did not share many common traits

the picture still showed how they were at home
v Dec 2017
people stay up at night deep in thought

unable to sleep

they think of the day that has passed and the day thats waiting ahead

they think of what they've done and what they should have done

their nights filled with regret

however

my strongest feelings of regret

they hit me when i wake up in the morning

when i realize what i'm missing
it's you
v Dec 2017
they say trust is important in a relationship

they say communication is too

you tell me all that bothers you

and we talk all night through

you said you loved me

and i told you that i loved you too

so why is it

that i was not the one chosen by you
v Mar 2020
you took it from me

all the time that i had spent

something i can never get back

the money i spent i can get back on my next pay cheque

~~~~~~~~~

i didnt want to tell you a joke

you forced me to

a joke you didnt like so you got mad

and now we've blocked each other on everything we have

~~~~~~~~~~

removed all your pictures

removed you from my life

may have accidentally deleted some but why would you care

you dont love me

you dont cherish me

you took me for granted
v Apr 2021
i’ve loved you

for all this time

we’ve spent months, years together

i’ve tried to remain ignorant

i know i’m not good enough, not smart nor hard working enough

but i’ve tried my best to be the best so that we could hopefully last forever

~~~~~~~~~~

but one night

as we talked about marriage

i was excited and went on about how we could get an apartment

about all the boring things like finances

but then you said

“my parents expect you to get a degree, to go to university”

a shattered reality

if its too difficult, if its just easier

just find someone that’s better

someone who isn’t me
a long hiatus but heartbreak fuels my creativity
v Apr 2022
it’s difficult to tell you the things i wish to say because it may not fully convey my truest feelings to you

i’m sad because i have become nothing to you;
you who once thought i was the most important aspect in your life

i promise you that i will always remember this once in a lifetime love and that i will always have the hope that you may choose me once again
she finally left me
thank you all who have ever read any of my poems
this may be my last
v Dec 2017
absence makes the heart grow fonder

my absence made your heart choose another
v Dec 2017
at the end of the day you come to me to destress

you come to me to tell me how your day went

you come to me for comfort

you come to me for acceptance

you come to me with trust in your heart

but why didn't you come to me when it was time to choose

you tell me it didn't feel right to choose me

however every single time we talk to one another

it feels so right

i have so much love to offer

but you only come to me when their love didn't cover what you needed it to

you told me you loved me and i believed you

but it wasn't me when it came for the time to choose

i may not know them like you do

i may not be able to judge them like you do

maybe there is a reason they are with you

and maybe theres a reason for me to lose

do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?

just like the reason you chose them

i havent got the slightest clue
"them" is singular here
v Dec 2017
you told me that you're sorry

you told me you don't mean to hurt me

i love you and you tell me that you do too

our conversations stretch to the wee hours of the night

hours of rest i cannot get back

but all i see

is them on the latest posts on your instagram
v Dec 2017
this always happens

the same vicious cycle

over and over

im stuck at work; working to be better

i always think everything would be alright

since, i thought, we always talked every night

then it happens, they ask you out

they ask you if you're free to be up and about

you tell them yes, lets meet

word for word

without missing a beat

as i sit here at work waiting for your text to bring me peace

i see them with you on social media

a fire raises

my blood boils

my tongue to be a knife

sharp, deadly, lethal, unforgiving

i get ready to burn everything to the ground

to cut everything into pieces

i hate them with the very same passion as i love you

and i love you with every cell in my being

"you should have picked me," i thought

i would have been there soon

then suddenly i realize

that i didn't want to hurt you

you are my love, my heart

i could not bear to see you hurt

so i take it all back

the flames, doused

the knife, put away

i want you to be happy

if i behave then you could be

then maybe, in the end

once you have seen what i have done

my effort would be recognized

then maybe you would choose for me to be with you

just me

not them
v Dec 2017
i'm not what you want

i'm not what you need

but i've always been here for you

so why did you not choose me
v Jan 2018
you chose him again

of course you would

you told me i was the better choice

but you didn't pick me did you

you picked him

him

who has had everything given to him on a silver platter

with as many companians as the blades of grass on a hill

instead of me

the person who supported you with everything that you have went through

i don't have much money

i don't have many friends

but i thought im wealthy enough

if i had you holding my hand
this is the first time i'm writing something with non gender neutral pronouns and it's because this is raw and it is happening. and i do not have the capacity to make this as beautiful as my other pieces.
v Jul 2018
you don't get it
you don't understand
i'm not enough for you
i know where i stand
i'm trying my best to love you; to provide
but i know i'm not enough for you

i’m not even good enough for myself
i don’t know what to do
i struggle to keep myself afloat
to find a way to carry you too
i know i’m not strong enough
i know i can’t do anything right
all the wrongs i’ve done
were from things i thought were bright

but please don’t leave me ana
please don’t leave me again
i’m barely living while with you
when you leave i would be dead
am not as good as I used to be..
v Jan 2019
i am still broken

i am still sore

all of the wounds he gave me

the ones that i have borne

though i am injured,

i am still recovering

but i will try my best

to care for my love
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