this always happens
the same vicious cycle
over and over
im stuck at work; working to be better
i always think everything would be alright
since, i thought, we always talked every night
then it happens, they ask you out
they ask you if you're free to be up and about
you tell them yes, lets meet
word for word
without missing a beat
as i sit here at work waiting for your text to bring me peace
i see them with you on social media
a fire raises
my blood boils
my tongue to be a knife
sharp, deadly, lethal, unforgiving
i get ready to burn everything to the ground
to cut everything into pieces
i hate them with the very same passion as i love you
and i love you with every cell in my being
"you should have picked me," i thought
i would have been there soon
then suddenly i realize
that i didn't want to hurt you
you are my love, my heart
i could not bear to see you hurt
so i take it all back
the flames, doused
the knife, put away
i want you to be happy
if i behave then you could be
then maybe, in the end
once you have seen what i have done
my effort would be recognized
then maybe you would choose for me to be with you
just me
not them