i

when we were close
when i wasn’t out
when you thought i was faking
when you compared me to her
when you called me names
when you responded to messages
when you cared.

i dont care if we're exes. we can still be friends but if u pull out that toxic **** we're over ✌✌

okay guys

when i read your name, it shifts

it flashes into the name you used to go by

i panic

i cry

who are you?

i've almost sobbed myself to sleep,


i watched,


listened.




"****, why can't someone love me like that"



even your mom asked if i felt like i was being left out,



i wanted to have a smile and say no,


but i just nodded silently.




im scared of your brother asking if we're friends anymore but,


are we?

i want to go home


am i invisible? yes








i’ll leave you two alone.


you’re happy.



that’s all that matters

all i want is a kiss or two

or just many few.


just a kiss or two

is all i ask of.


make me blush

make me crush


make me moan

make me groan


i want it all

i want it please


just the feeling of love

will get me pleased

keep eating until you feel like your stomach is about to burst

and then throw it all up x

im finding more and more things that i don't like about myself

i need to get things off of my mind

i wonder if ill ever be good enough

no this is stressful it makes me feel so ******* bad

you talked about how we replaced you

used you

played with you

lied to you

cut you out.


but didn’t you do the same?

unfair.


i want to go home


i feel like i’m nothing


like i don’t exist

but jealousy has nothing to do with this now

I have lost my fight and I hope you lose yours

shes leaving and suddenly shes the center of attention

the world revolves around her like it did when we connected

I thought id never get replaced by someone you've barely know,

I mean hey, I've known you for 8 whole years, almost 9.

you've  known her for 2.

I'm seeing these problems arise and I cant do anything because every negative thing I say about her makes you hate me even more and I'm not ready to lose someone as close as you


but I hope you lose your fight because

a ***** once said

"Middle school relationships arent supposed to go anywhere"

the more i eat the more i want to *****

but it tastes good,

so i guess i’ll keep going until i throw up.

why would you tell me?!
i know ****

why the hell would you tell me anything

your life is with them

only them

im nothing now

im nothing ****

you dont ******* care.

i mean
youd rather love her.

cause yknow.
you ******* love her

"ill always love you"
"ill never leave you"
"love you babe"

*******.
liar.
you dont.
dont lie to me.

please,
dont lie to me.

i know you love her

leave me behind.

i dare you

leave me.
leave.
now.

i know you dont care

so just stop it..

i know youd rather date her

i know

i know

i know.

bye
.
.
.
.

BYE..

i-

you dont love me

nevermind.

you are my worst ******* nightmare i   remember everything you did every time i am alone  i  can never forget what you did to Me   but to you   i am nothing  but a liar   and a horrible person    Maybe think about what You   did to me   for years   and allowed others to do    Remember your body shaming   and manipulation    and general abusive behavior but  Oh  Oh!!  you   are always the ******* victim

Inactive,
Offline,
I stay away,
From those behind,
Computers,
Phones,
Tablets,
Anything
that has access
to this website.

"welcome back"
They say,

I have come back,
to write more,
and read more.

Bye.
I'm off to therapy now.

from doing something stupid again

but i love you

doing it again

paused, remembering when things were okay

those memories went by in a flash,

and all i could hear were the  voices getting louder

"DROWN YOURSELF"

"**** YOURSELF"

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT"

"YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL"

"THIS ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU"

i paused,

" nevermind, no water for me . "

just please shut the **** up.

you're so ******* annoying

you call me names

you give me bruises


isnt that illegal?

you *****

i don’t like this feeling
i feel as if i’m gonna throw up
feel like i’m gonna cry
sob
scream in pain.

it’s not fun.



but it’s fine because you don’t want to tell me your feelings so i won’t tell you mine.


i know you’ll probably see this but


whatever.



i just want to know how youre feeling

making my heart explode.


maybe this is what’s been keeping me from killing myself

i don’t know why.


we’re over.



been over.

i love your hugs

they make me feel warm, happy, protected.


when they thought we were dating,


i guess i liked it.

to see you flustered.


i don’t know if you’re ready

if i’m ready

or even if you like me back

i miss when we had a thing.

help me
he’s gonna ******* **** me because he had to share a drink with me

he’s making fun of me

i’m

i’m gonna ******* **** myself soon

it hurts

like hell


it feels like

i’m being carved open



but it’s okay


i’ll go anyway




it’s all ******* to you man

as your friend

it hurts.


like someone had stabbed me.  



but it’s okay

since this is all ******* to you

one pill after the other,

what pill could **** me?

i feel as if you’re making excuses

“i don’t really want to be in relationships right now...”

you’re dating our friend.

“i can’t hang out today, i have a project with my gf, lessons,and i’m getting a hair cut”

okay valid but if you had all these things then why? why did you spend all your time texting the group chat i’m in? all morning.

we already planned to hang out over the weekend before the weekend started,


now i have to deal with you all giddy and **** when you’re with her.

i just wanna g o ** me and feeeeeeeeeeel safe yknoq/>/>??

ac is a bit loud today.


father asked to talk with her for a while.



i’m *******

i’ve told myself to stop eating.
“you’re fat. quit eating lol”

stop talking.

you’ll just make things worse


stop falling for people


at this point it’s idiotic.


how long will it take u to realise that no one wants you??