It feels like I’ve written about you for the fifteenth billion time
Even though this is only the fifteenth poem
And strangely I have a feeling I’ll remember this
Because the fifteenth was the day of our last date, until we meet again
I can only wish I had kissed and hugged you fifteen times that night
I can only wish I could go back and tell you I love you fifteen times in a row
(v.m)

Did you know I haven’t cried this much since the last time I loved someone
My lungs haven’t burned this bad since I was thirteen
I guess that’s what I get for always fighting-
Both my friends can see it in me
I was flattered when my friend said “your in love with him you’re just too scared to admit it to yourself...but I see it”
And wow that hit me like a truck
And then just last week my other friend said it too.
And I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath all over again.
This feels like falling in love
Too bad you aren’t here
I don’t even know if you want part in this anymore
But neither did my first love
And I still gave it my all
I’m still giving you my all.
I’ve always been the type of girl that is pushed so far away and still waits
But that’s because I see potential
That’s because my heart is so full
That’s because I believe in fairytales
Even though my mother never loved my father
I still somehow believe in love
I still somehow believe in you


(v.m)

It’s a new day and I still love you
You used to slightly grasp my chin as you were about to kiss me
I miss the way you used to look at me
Like you were asleep but fully awake all at the same time
I miss the divot in your shoulder my favorite part of you...and I miss laying beside you in my bed
I remember how you used to say how comfy my bed was, that you could just fall asleep so peacefully
I remember your laugh, I can still hear it when I close my eyes
I remember when we were innocent and made pizza in my kitchen.
The world was ours that night,
Like our own slice of happy
Like playing house for the night
I remember as we sat in the kitchen at 9 or 11 we just stared into each others eyes....getting lost without even moving
I remember you telling me your dreams....some of them....even though you like to say i never knew you
I think I understood you
But I think your dreams were light
I think that you’ll achieve whatever you set your mind too
I think that’s the beauty of falling in love with you
You gave me something to believe in, even if it was just you. You made me see it in me too.

— it’s a new day and I still love you


(v.m)

Ive been writing about you
And each time I do it feels like I get closer to going insane
I think that’s what Love feels like
Like when you come home at 3 am strung out on breaths and pulls from that special someone,
Missing you hasn’t been easy but I’m trying
I’m still not giving up, happy new year


(v.m)

I remember glancing over at you and seeing you staring at me
You’re eyes were full and glazed over
Like you were high
But we were sober
And then you kissed me
And it was one of those kisses
Do you know what I mean?
The kind of kiss that knocks the wind out of you
The kind of kiss that makes you forget what your name is for a second
The kind of kiss that—takes your breath away
Kind of like people do
At least you said I did, the day we first met.


(v.m)

Remember that song you told me reminded you of me?
It was about magic
I wonder if that’s what you saw with me
(v.m)

Even though you’re  gone
My family still asks about you
Even though you're gone
I still wear the necklace you got me around my neck
Even though you're gone
My bestfriend says she’s never seen me more in love
Even though you're gone
I still don’t leave bed until half past noon
Even though you’re gone
I wonder if this has all been easy for you
Even though you're gone
I still find myself smiling when I see something that reminds me of you
Even though you’re  gone my body still misses the shape of you
Even though you're gone I still miss the smell of vanilla hair gel and almond lotion
I’ve been counting and today it’s been two weeks
Will you be back by valentines
Will you be back at all
Even though you’re gone
I can’t bring myself to let you go
Even though you're gone
I still remember the last time you kissed me
Even though you’re gone
I’m still here.

(v.m)