I'm hard to understand, I know
It's never been easy for anyone
I'm hard to talk to, I know
Sometimes I can't even talk to myself.

The moment I think I've got myself figured out
You dig up something else
Something I didn't know about
Something hard to grasp.

But it's good, it's great
I'm learning new things
New character traits
About me.

And I'm a metamorphosis
Before your eyes
But it's  a constant rolling wave
So you understand.

At least I hope you understand
And I'm really trying to make it easy
As easy as I can make it
Which really isn't easy at all.

But I'm sure you'll figure it out
In due time
Cause I'm really not that complicated
You just have to learn my rhyme.

Cause you can know all the words in my box
But not know the order
And if you don't know the order
How can you really figure me out?

And you can know all the words in my box
But not be able to spell a single one
And if you can't spell them
How can you really spell me out?

But this is so new, so fresh
I'm not really all that worried
In fact I won't be surprised
If you never get the words straight.
If you never get the spelling correct.

And it might be exciting
Keep things alive
And probably a little frustrating
Over time.

But it'll be okay if you never figure me out
You won't get bored, I promise
I'm the only one that's got me even a little figured out
And still I mostly don't make sense.

But it's not about making sense, is it?
It's more like just a feeling
Who really needs words in this universe,
When we have our bodies to speak with?

Cause even when I know you're confused
Or even when I've confused myself
I hold you close
Take a deep, deep, breath
And let my body do all the talking.

If you ever figure me out
You'll have to tell me your secret
Cause I'm still confused
About myself.

Bleeding from the heart
In a metaphorical way
The pain is excruciating
And there is nothing left to say.

They both knew it all along
And knew they had to tell the truth
They didn't love each other
Didn't even care to.

They stare at one another
Lost in emotion and thought
One with tearful eyes
The other also distraught.

It couldn't work out between them
With her deceit and his lies
Though it lasted for years
It was a mosh posh of destruction, with a side of hateful fries.

He cheated every weekend
****** without disgrace
With every man he came across
Then kissed her when he returned home, right on her face.

She deceived him from the start
Marrying him for his money
And spending it all on an addiction
The truth just wasn't very funny.

And when it all came out
With tears and screams
They realized it wasn't meant to be
Their love had fake seams.

But did they ever love each other?
Or was it just a comfort of the placement?
To be in someones arms
Something convenient, though distorted and bent.

When it was all over
They said their goodbyes
And went separate ways
To start separate lives.

She's a lawyer now
Making her own money
Paying for her own addiction
Isn't that funny?

And he came out of the closet
Still ******* without disgrace
And instead of getting kisses
He gets *** all over his face.

So they took roads away from each other
But ended up the same way
Maybe they should have stayed together
It would have been more comfortable, wouldn't you say?

Grandfather's are full of stories
Fairy tales and rhymes
Jokes from books and lots of laughs
To keep your strong in your stride.

They collect the coolest things
From stamps to golf *****
Keeping things entertaining
When you're bored or bouncing off the walls.

They never tell a lie
But sometimes stretch the truth long
But how could they be Grandpa
Without singing you a wild song?

There's something in their smile
That keeps you happy all around
With a twinkle in their eye
Their love knows no bounds.

They have the knowledge of the world
And some simple daily facts
They keep your imagination running wild
And always keep your secret pacts.

Don't underestimate Grandpa's
Cause they might lead you for a surprise
They're strong, they're fast, they're super smart
No one should mess with these guys.

So remember to love your Grandpa
And stop to hear a story or two
Cause even when you think they won't
They'll always look out for you!

He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to hide
Somewhere warm, somewhere sweet
He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to sleep
Soundly, quietly.

In his hair I find my hands
Searching for what haunts him
But gliding through every strand
I soothe him with my love.

He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to find
Somewhere lush, somewhere bright
He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to play
Wildly, freely.

In my arms I hold him close
Covering his skin with my soul
Goosebumps, on each others skin
I love him with my body.

He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to seek
Somewhere dangerous, somewhere high
He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to run
Quickly, simply.

In his eyes I see the signs
Locking our gaze of flowers
Smiles, stretching our mouths
I speak to him in song.

He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to be
Somewhere far, somewhere clean
He reminds me of somewhere I'd like to keep
In my heart, in my soul.

We're waiting for our death
Or maybe just a new beginning
The storm is haunting the horizon
Black clouds with lightning grinning.

The rumbling of the thunder
Is laughing at our fear
Or maybe it's my imagination
But the worst will soon appear.

They said for years
That when the storm arrives
Beasts will come from the dark
And we will run for our lives.

Some will die then
But most will die soon after
In the storm bouts of acid
And the thunders laughter.

But if you don't die then
It'll be from the flood
Drowning in your misery
Or trapped in the sludge mud.

And if you're still alive
You better have a boat
The beasts of the sea will eat you up
"Apocalyptic ******!" she wrote.

Her name was Sylvia
A mystical seer
From the before times
She told what she could hear.

The wind whispered to her
All these terrible things
Here they are before us now
And this is what she said they would bring.

So we're waiting for our death
We've all ready felt the plague
The storm is haunting the horizon
Until the end of our days.

The base of everything is black
And behind my eyelids.
Splashes of exotic colors
Explosions like firecrackers.
I know everything
I am everything
And everything knows me
And everything is me.
Whirring lines of transfiguration
Not tangible images
But the core of each thing
It's essence.
No bodies.
No thoughts.
No ideas.
Just knowing
And being.
Each depth I understand
And beyond that depth, I understand
And going down deeper, I still understand.
And it's endless
Like an abyss
Except less black
And more yes, yes, yes.
Sounds are accents to colors
But not necessary
For everything is connected
So everything knows
And to what are words?
Nothing but nothing
There are no words here...
When everything knows
And is, everything.
Lights, lots of lights
Coinciding with color
And creating sound
With it's slap of bright
And splatter of life.
There are more colors than I remember
When my body was mine.
There are sounds I think exist
But I could never hear them before.
Rumbling, rolling.
There are lights so bright I can see souls
Even though I all ready knew they were there.
Free-falling
And floating at the same time
While being rooted
To everything.
There's a buzzing over the flesh of the universe
Ripple-like effects of wavey buzzes
Touching each thing.
And I feel it all in my center
And it's on fire
But so wet.
And it spreads out in a beat like a heart; all over me
Because I am everything.
No shapes and sizes
No differentiating from each thing
The lines are blurred
The edges blending together
Everything is one
But still each thing individually connected.
I understand
And I take this understanding back with me
When I melt back into my fingers and toes
And join the worldy world
With a universe of understanding.

Could it be happening like this?
So fast, so new, so fresh
I'm practically weak in the knees
Especially when I'm in his arms.

The world is so much more now
Than it was before
Everything is so colorful
Rather than black and white.

I could -die- for him
I know that's crazy to hear
We haven't been together for long..
But that's how I feel.

I have this gut feeling
That we're really gonna go far
It's almost terrifying
But I welcome it.

I always imagined it being like this
This love thing
I never really had it
Thought I did, but I was wrong.

This is how it really is to be in love
Powerful, passionate, exhilarating
And rather than -pretending- that I feel those things
They really are there, exploding on the inside of my heart.

I tried to find this kind of love before
But you can never really go out looking for it
And when you finally stop searching everywhere
It falls right into your lap, like it had never been hidden.

I literally swoon
He makes me swoon
I didn't ever think swooning was real
Just an over dramatization of a small feeling you only see in movies.

His eyes on me make me melt
His kisses lead me into a spinning excitement
Where the world outside of that moment, outside our universe,
Ceases to exist all together.

The best part is knowing that fairy-tale love exists
As long as you find the right person
Wait! Don't rush! Don't settle!
It'll come to you. It will.

As I conclude
This poetic letter of my confession, straight from my heart
Let love evade you!
If you keep chasing it-- it will never come

Love.
I couldn't think of a better word.

I wanted to rip your heart out
And eat it like it were a fruit
Just so you could die
Like you made me want to.

I thought I loved you
At one point, maybe twice
But it was really just hate
That started at a small height.

I gave you everything
Bent over backwards, upside down
I served my heart in place of yours
But my love you never found.

Your perception was twisted
You wanted to tear me apart
Said I was the lusted, the wanted
But you were wrong from the start.

I was weak, you were right
And from you I learned so much
That I can't let people walk on me
Least of all let them touch--

My heart.

You see I took it back from you
And threw the truth in your face
Even after all we had been through
You placed me as a disgrace.

I let you down but in reality
You let ME down
And I had to figure **** out
After you left me with a frown.

Stabbed me in the back countless times
Asked me for money and favors
And I wrote out all your rhymes
For you poetic labors.

It was all my hard work
Thrown down the drain
But I let you go
And inevitably you went insane.

Because I set my rage free
And you clung to it for years
I know it held you back
Causing many of your tears.

And still I never wanted to hurt you
I just wanted you to see
That you couldn't treat anyone like that
Least of all me.

So maybe I was your wake up call
Or at least I planted the seed
Someone else can water it
But I suppose you've become a ****.

I've heard things 'round the bend
That you've finally been seen for what you were
I always knew that side of you
But I was friends with something else, what it was, I'm not sure.

And once I learned
And grew up
I traveled on
And threw you out of my cup.

And that cup I filled
Not with anything of you
But everything of me
And all I had been that was true.

And now here I am
Doing fine without you
But I don't regret any of it
Because it was part of everything I had to go through.

Thank you.

The ominous cloud
Looming on the horizon of your heart
Brings tears to my eyes
It's bittersweet and ****.

I wish, oh I wish
To send the cloud away
Like a Goddess of the Wind
I would blow it astray.

But every cloud has it's purpose
To let the rain fall in power
Though it's saddening at first
It cleanses, delightfully, even the wall-flower.

All I can do
Is provide the sunny rays
To warm the chill left behind
And brighten the darkness daze.

Though I wish to be a Wind Goddess
To stop the rain from falling
But I'd rather be of the After-Rain Sun
Instead of the forestalling.

Life is puzzling
There's so many pieces
So little time
But you'll figure it out
And I'm sure, I truly believe, you will be fine.

Life is beautiful
There's so many colors
So little gray
You can paint the best picture
And I will place confidence in everything you say.

Life is complicated
There's so many lines
So little negative space
You can draw the best diagram
And I will admire what you create.

Life is exhilarating
There's so many ups and downs
So little plateaus
You can ride thehighest roller coaster
And I will never tell you any no's.

Life is so hot and yet so cold
There's so many different degrees
So little moments of numb
You can bathe in every temperature
And I will never let you go glum.

Life is so happy and yet so sad
There's so many different emotions
So little moments of bland
You can cry and laugh all at once
And I will never let go of your hand.

Life is so everything
There's so many things
So little moments of none
You can have and have not
And I will never let you run.

I'll be the push to your shove
The pull to your tug
The hate to your love
The love to your hate
The comfort to your hug
The partner in your fate.

We'll do this together.
Side by side.
Forever and ever.
Through every endeavor.

When the universe began there was chaos and disorder,
Before we divided, I focused on my own outside border.
Besides the fangs and alien forces,
Laughter expanded my walls and charted courses.
I could navigate the paths to each universe separately,
Though the walk was treacherous I continued inevitably.
Time passed by slowly, no matter the location,
Other nights I lost time because of the recreation.
My mind understood things that shouldn't be understandable,
Not the meaning of life but answers to the beyond incomprehensible.
Inside the photographs and paintings all over,
I could see the movement, the change, that wasn't there sober.
What I wanted to say wouldn't come out,
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get passed the doubt.
I heard everything said but didn't comprehend,
I could smile but I was unable to lend a hand.
Lead outside, I raised my eyes to the sky, to be enlightened,
I had known it all along but before I was frightened.
It was endless, and dark, with a depth like eternity,
Unable to look away it nearly swallowed me.
Back safe inside I traveled a short journey,
Hopeful to find the laughter that expanded my walls originally.
A magical place through a door, and through another,
Musical sounds and lots of color.
On a similar level I could blend in,
But a destroyer of worlds nearly made my walls cave in.
Escaping back to the other side,
A Charizard in the kitchen, a monkey in disguise.
Don't get ****** in, don't get ****** in,
It's madness and trickery, you must defend.
Stay back and be a spy,
Through a pentagonal shape for my eye.
A tickle-y feeling so I go down the hall,
But I am diverted by a door like a wall.
Locked, I can't seem to grasp,
But a leader with a hat showed me passed.
Or rather through a secret door,
Into a chamber I didn't know before.
Inside I discovered beautiful things,
And I tasted the delight that pumpkin brings.
My reflection was clearer and more defined,
I guess I never before saw the signs.
I felt like a secret confined,
So I fled to return another time.
Into a room to visit a neighbor,
A quiet and peaceful, relaxing chamber.
This universe is nice but not my first choice,
So with a present delivery I went back to the noise.
Under a rainbow knit blanket I found,
Heartbeats in hands that I thought to spread around.
The blanket returned to it's covered state,
And I took the secret to somewhere safe.
Through a door, and another door,
The light struck me as I saw smokey waves and heard a roar.
Horn of Damocles, Horn of Damocles.
Saved the day, saved the day.
Destroyer of worlds as well as creator,
Banishment happened sooner than later.
The walls lost their breath, but the stars were still bright,
The music was enchanting along with the light.
Enough adventure for I,
It's over, goodbye.
It's a sad word so I choose another to say,
Bye-bye seems less far away.
The rainbow blanket no longer stirs,
The universe has calmed and the aliens have dispersed.
The bone-man soothes the soul,
With his music he rocks and rolls.
Takes the nurse away for the night,
Thank God cause I almost lost the fight.
Did I tell you the universe is in your eyes?
I heard it earlier from someone near by.
He was rather blunt but I was unaffected,
We didn't **** but it was a nice suggestion.
I forgot to mention that we crucified,
A man who I know, and wouldn't rather die.
So we set him free, earlier in the night,
Before the laughter I saw something slight.
In a painting as a gift for me,
Jesus on the cross and an angel of mercy.
With that I'm going to conclude,
Oh Magical Manna, I approve.

I feel like a fish
Belonging to an ocean
With the understanding of my place
But the knowing of life outside

I yearn to be free

Love is just a word on the surface
When I plunge so much deeper than that
To the bottom of the ocean.

I took a dive head first
Without looking back
And it almost shocked me beyond shock.

But it was such a wonderful dive
And I'm still going
Cause I don't really think there's a bottom.

When judgment is dropped
And love is knowing
You'll just deepen the sea.

With the ocean around me
I can feel your intense emotions
The ripples breaking against my skin.

I've become a part of your existence
And I understand all of your notions
That I ripple back the patterns you send.

Together in this ocean of rapture
We ripple out our feelings for each other
And accept them without blocking the movement.

You've become part of my existence
The emotions endless for another
In the sea we've deepened beyond depth.

Because depth is measurable
But rapture of love is not
At least my own emotions are not confined to a barrel.

At the bottom of my barrel I've dug further
But now more outside of the barrel is sought
Outside of the confines is so define-less.

So much more than love
So much beyond comprehending
But do we really need to comprehend it?

Just feel it inside
Our egos transcending
And let me love you like an untamed sea.

I see your soul like it's on fire
Flickering like your inner desire.
It's beautiful and gold
Something for me to hold.
It lashes out at my own soul
Igniting my fire from burnt-out coal.
And in the coal lies diamond shards
That I gamble with my cards.
We roll the dice together
But the game goes on forever.
Your soul binding to mine
Our bodies entwined.
The fires roaring inside our being
Keeping us from fleeing.
And on and on we go
On and on, to and fro.
To the end together as one
Dancing since the fire begun.
Finicky flames, but burning bright
You and I, what a sight.
Liquid love, cold steel blue
Combining, becoming what is true.

A coy but quirky little thing
Wrapping him around her finger
Kisses to his mouth
Her dewy taste to linger.

A devious but ginger little creature
Coiling around her heart
Adding tongue to the kisses
His taste not bitter, but ****.

The Fairy and the Serpent
A love so delicious it should be forbidden
Both having fiery passion
Makes them not so different.

They're sneaky and wise
But calm and collected
And when staring at each other
They see parts of themselves reflected.

He shields her with his hardened scales
And protects her with his venomous bite
She mystifies him with her glitter lust
And guides him with her magic light.

Here in their Nirvana Paradise
They've come upon a common ground
Their love is unrestrained and powerful
And a soul mate they have found.

Galactic starlight of gold
Fluorescent and glowing strong
I'll keep it even though
I can't hold it very long.

This odd ball of bright
Is everyone's guiding star
With it you can see the city
And you can see very far.

But it's the only light in the city
Because every other it consumes
Who needs more than this ball of bright?
Only the greedy, it presumes.

It has a mind of it's own
It's goal to protect and control
The people worship it humbly
Their oppression something unknown.

They can't leave the city
To the world outside
The ball of bright though is hungry
For more power, in it's pride.

Cause the star is confined
To these city walls
Though it's powerful
It cannot leave at all.

So within these walls it suffers
As the people suffer as well
Though they're blissfully unaware
Of the stars want to rage Hell.

The starlight ball so bright
Really wants to leave the city behind
In it's yearn for freedom
It has a plan in mind.

It'll expand the walls of the city
By raging wars and fire
Gain more land and thus more freedom
And build it's tower higher and higher.

That is not what it really wants
The freedom is nice and fine
Though it's not really freedom at all
But power hungry in kind.

Because though it has more land
More people and more power
The walls still trap it endlessly
So it resides alone in it's tower.

Immortal life for the star
Along with power and land
But a yearn for freedom
To be held in a hand.

And let it go into the sky
Back to where it belongs
We took it for our own greed and power
Let it be free to go home.

Stars shouldn't be confined
Within city walls to rule everyone
To be worshiped and fed power
When it should just have freedom.

Feed it and it grows strong and mindless
But let it be free and it will be soft and guiding
Feed it and it will be powerful and hungry
But let it be free and it will grant wishes to your liking.

So keep the stars in the sky
They can still guide us through the night
But they're free up there
And it's better for everyone in their plight.

Today I feel beautiful
Like a flower blossoming in spring
I've only just begun to blossom
Sprouting, I am becoming something.

Today I feel strong
Like the trunk of a tree
Weathered but mighty
My roots the base of me.

Today I feel light
Like a feather flying
My burdens not heavy
Or preventing me from trying.

Today I feel happy
Like a smile reaching eyes
The sadness once carried
Released like heavy sighs.

Today I am great
No matter the circumstance
Today is a good day
A day for my second chance.

Don't let them drag you down as they die
It's hard to let them go, but you must
It's the way of life.

They're heavy on your shoulders
An unnecessary burden to bare
Free them as they grow colder.

Don't let them drag you down when they die, it'll only destroy you
Let them fall to the ground
This is what you must do
This is what is true.

When I saw the fire in your eyes
It made me want to cry
And even though I cried
I saw in the mirror, the fire in my own eyes.

It's a burning tragedy
The way you feel for me
It makes my heart bleed
It's a burning tragedy.

It's dark outside and the moon is bright
It casts a glow across where I stand
I'm thinking of you tonight
Wishing I could hold your hand.

Right now I'm thinking of love
Right now I'm thinking of sorrow
I raise my eyes to what's above
Yes! There's still hope for tomorrow.

I haven't lost my sight
I can imagine the world is lonely
I'd rather like to bask in the moonlight
For this one time only.

But my skin it itches with wonder
And my feet want to dance
This must be some spell that I'm under
Or is this my second chance?

Youth strikes my features
But at the center I am old
Out from the night come the creatures
And with them comes the cold.

I know so much and yet so little
My mind has expanded to infinity
Though my reality feels brittle
I can hang on through serendipity.

This is my magical power
I weave the world with my fingers
The clouds in the night rain down a shower
I'm am the dancer, the thunder the singers.

This is my chance!
I'll fashion a quilt of morality
I'll swirl it as I dance
Making the divine fabric a reality.

But alas, this is only a dream
And I'm dreaming of love and sorrow
As I finish up the last seam
I think there's still hope for tomorrow.

It's dark outside and the moon is bright
As I'm sleeping soundly
Such a dream won't slip from my sight
I'll remember it profoundly.

Just when I think
My inspiration has run dry
You sneak your way into my mind
And show me how to fly.

The words I construct
Flit across the page
With love and romance
And freedom from a cage.

My heart soars for you
And sings a melody
Lovesick and a romantic
For you, from me.

You've changed my life
In a magical way
From black to colorful
From plain to gay.

But what I'm trying to tell you
Is that you're very special to me
In more ways than just my love for you
But how you set me free.

It's strange how time goes by so slowly
But I feel like it's been so long
Since we have been together
Writing our love song.

But it is really great
That time tricks us like this
Cause I'd like to cherish you
In every moment of bliss.

I love you, sir
More than I think even -I- know
And I'll hold onto you forever
Because you're now stitched into my life flow.

No one told you,
When you would turn thirteen,
That you would suddenly do your make-up,
And try girly things.
You would no longer like baseball,
But rather going shopping for shoes,
And going to the mall,
To watch boys and what they do.
No one told you,
That when you would add one more year,
You would start to change,
And your life you would begin to steer.
You would date your first real boy,
And obsess over him for a week,
Then he would treat you like a toy,
And find he is not what you seek.
No one told you,
That when you would turn fifteen,
Make-up would not be all that important,
And you would not much like girly things.
Once again you would like sports,
But did not quite obsess over shoes,
You would have a crush on a dork,
And you would not be sure what to do.
No one told you,
That when you would add another year,
You would think **** is a fashion,
And that boy you had liked is now a queer.
Then that queer became your best friend,
And he would take you shopping for shoes,
But you would rather get a job,
And start becoming something new.
No one told you,
That when you would turn seventeen,
You would realize sixteen is so far away,
And feel stuck in between.
You would have your job and your best friend,
And all the shoes you ever could want,
But it would not seem like enough,
And your body you would not really flaunt.
No one told you,
That when another year would go by,
That you would still feel like a teenager,
And you would not know what to do with your life.
High school would finally be over,
And yet you would miss it so much,
Your best friend would have moved away,
And you would feel like you have lost your touch.
No one told you,
That when you would turn nineteen,
You would be shopping for furniture,
For your best friend that had moved away.
And that he would come back into town,
Deciding he was not gay,
And he wanted you to be down,
For getting married one day.
No one told you,
That when life gets a little uncontrollable,
The most unexpected happens,
And you would find it unavoidable.
No one told you,
And I am sure you are thinking that I am right,
That when you were a teenager,
You felt like life was so “tight!”
And other times it was not so great,
Like when you partied ‘til you yakked,
And when you lost your virginity,
It was with that guy that did not want you back.
And when you would do drugs for the first time,
You would have to sneak out of your house,
And you would fall asleep after the high,
And your parents would find out.
No one told you,
All those things you thought: you would never do,
And all those things they said: you would not,
Even though you thought you ought to.
No one told you,
About the tears that you would cry,
And the times you would laugh so hard,
That you would *** yourself and lie to get by.
And all the classes you would skip,
To get things you did not need,
And that you would drive your car into a ditch,
Man, don't you wish you had not done it?
But if you had not,
You would not be who you are,
And I bet you are happy they did not tell you,
And I bet you are happy your wish on a star,
Did not come true.
All because no one told you.

I told him my secret
Of the love that I've kept
Deep in my heart, from him.

I divulged all the details
Pouring out my soul of emotions
And serving my heart on a silver platter, to him.

At first the initial shock
Of telling all my desires
Showed on my face, but it was acceptable, to him.

He completely agreed
And understood my words
My poetic confession appealing, to him.

He loves me, he say's
And I love him
Which is exciting to me, and to him.

Now that the secret is out
The passion is unleashed
Which is entirely okay with me, and with him.

Where we stand is spiraling
Into a depth thought unreachable
And the idea is less terrifying, and more exhilarating to me, and maybe to him.

I've accessed intense emotions
That I thought were only for the insane
But maybe I'm crazy, to him.

I've opened my heart
Everything I am, spilling out
And it seems it is more than just a little something, to him.

I expect this to work out
Maybe for the long haul, I don't really know
That would be nice to me.. and maybe a little crazy, to him.

A little crazy never hurt anybody
At least it never hurts me
And clearly, that's okay with him.

Everything.
Everything's okay.

I'd breathe for you
If you needed me to
And I'd let it out slowly
To give you a sense of inner peace.

I'd see for you
If you needed me to
And I'd describe my sights
To allow you to see what I see.

I'd speak for you
If you needed me to
Though it isn't my brightest idea
I'd hold my own, so you could be free.

I'd think for you
If you needed me to
I wouldn't recommend it
But I'd do it if need be.

I'd feel for you
If you needed me to
Touch everything to be touched
So that you could feel it too.

I'd walk for you
If you needed me to
And I'd go to the end of the world
To get you to where you need to be.

I'd smile for you
If you needed me to
Even if I was down
I'd abolish my frown, to be happy for you.

I'd cry for you
If you needed me to
And I'd let out all of my sorrows
On behalf of the pain you feel.

I'd fight for you
If you needed me to
Even at my worst
I'd challenge anyone, anything.

I'd stop for you
If you needed me to
Even when I think I can't quit
I'd drop everything.

I'd laugh for you
If you needed me to
And I do every day
Because you make it so easy.

I'd climb for you
If you needed me to
Even if I hated the idea
I'd go right to the top, without complaint, because I know how you are.

I'd give up everything
If you needed me to
Even when I try to say I would never
I would, for the love in my heart.

And most importantly: I'd die for you
As scary as that sounds
The intensity I feel for you
Is like below freezing water, or the center of the sun.

Don't be afraid
Of my feelings
As crazy as they sound
I can still be practical
I can still be logical
I can still watch out for myself, watch out for you.

I don't mean to be so dramatic
Or theatrical
But I feel this way
I really feel this way.

Let me tell you a story of a girl
Whose life  was like no other
In the beginning
Everything was a struggle.

When times got tough
She would lay lifelessly
In the dark.

The tears she would cry
Would keep a steady flow
Until her emotional outbursts ran dry.

When these times came
She felt in her heart that
There was no cure.

But when they would pass
A new feeling
Would overwhelm her.

Then she would smile
And go on with her life.

This story I'm telling you
Is the story I live.

This is the story of my life
It's not like any other
Even with a new beginning
Every day is still a struggle.

But now when times get tough
I know it's just a routine
The pain still hurts..
But instead of looking at it like a sunset
I smile and it's instead a sunrise.

And every day is a new day
One that will easily pass by.

So this story I tell you
Is to show all of you
That even when it's tough
And even when it's rough
You can get through it.

Just remember this:
This could be the story of your life
It may not be like any other
Even with a fresh head
And a new beginning
Every day might still be a struggle.

But then when times get tough
It's just the other half of the circle
The pain may still hurt
But there's always that new sunrise.

Keep. On. Pushing!
It hurts, I know. But you'll make it.
The tears you cry, will eventually run dry.
And you'll smile, as I did.
Then the sun will rise high.

And even with every day a new struggle,
It's all part of the sunset and sunrise.

Red makes the color of love,
White is the wings of a dove.

Orange is the color of Halloween,
When Black joins in they make quite a team.

Green covers the peel of a lime,
And Silver is what coats the shell of a dime.

Gold is why there's a shine in a ring,
And the Yellow of the sun is what makes birds sing.

Purple fills the midnight sky,
And Blue is the color of tears when you cry.

Pink is quite a girlie shade,
And Teal is the color of ocean waves.

These are some colors of the rainbow,
This is only a few, how many do you know?

I feel like I should be writing
There is so much to say
And yet so little
At the same time.

I want the world to know
That happiness is easy
As long as you know how
To look past the grime.

It can be found anywhere
In a far off land or on some mountain
But usually
It's right under your nose.

It can be found in anything
In a smile or a wish
That's usually
How it goes.

Happiness is sometimes fleeting
But often it is always there
You just have to find it in the right spot
Sometimes it's simply in the air.

Other times it can't be found
But you're sure it's where you left it
Maybe try looking somewhere else this time
It hasn't up and vanished.

And when you think there's none left at all
That's when you probably have it the most
You just don't see it in the obvious places
It's like looking for a ghost.

Lift the veil from your eyes
Happiness is everywhere
Just remember to look in every corner, crack, under every rock
I promise you, it's there.

I tip them upside down
I throw them on the ground
It's the only way I can look at them clearly.

When they're right in my face
Everything seems out of place
And I can't seem to understand them sincerely.

When they fall apart
It damages my heart
And I have to put them all back together.

To read them right
They have to be in plain sight
So I can interpret the future weather.

What I'm talking about
Brings upon some doubt
That's hiding in the back of my mind.

But when I lay them straight
I can predict my fate
And the truth I will know, and can find.

Many things are applicable
And possibly despicable
To what I'm trying so hard to explain.

But really what it is--
The answer to this quiz
Is that my emotions are difficult to preordain.

So I'll look at the sky
And release them to fly
Because that is the best thing I can do.

Let them go free
And just let it all be
Then they will be easier to construe.

When am I going to realize,
That I can do whatever I please?
I can speak out my opinions
And I can drop my formalities.

I don't have to wait to be told
Whether or not it's okay
I can do anything I desire
I can say what I want to say.

I have the right
Who needs validation?
I don't need it, neither do you
Nor do I need confirmation.

I can write my own rules
I can stay up late
I can break them, too
And I can sleep all day.

Why do I seek to be told,
Whether or not it's all right?
I can do whatever I want
I'll spread my wings and take flight.

To be bold is to do what you want
Not what you're told
And I know I want to be bold
I'm not going to wait until I get old.

I'm not going to wait until I break
From holding myself back
Cause then I've waited too long
To conquer what I lack.

Time is running out
Even though they say you have plenty
But they say that as a comfort
Cause they waited, like many.

I won't wait any longer
Time isn't going to freeze
When am I going to realize,
That I can do whatever I please?

My heart aches with the overwhelming feeling of depression,
A feeling that gravity itself is pulling at the thread that holds everything together.
And yet it's the thread that binds my pain to my heart.
I can't hold back the tears anymore,
I can't control my emotions,
I can no longer keep the blade of tragedy and agony sheathed.

My heart it burns with the want and need of release,
A feeling that the single thread that keeps me together has come loose.
It is good.  And it is bad.
I can't hold on anymore,
I can't even feel the pain anymore,
I can no longer grasp the light-- but the hilt of that blade seems to fit to easily and comfortably into my hand.

A win-lose situation.
And a repetitive process.
A continuum.

My heart it bleeds from the wound that the blade has created from my own hands,
A feeling of finally being released from the hold of that single thread.
And yet..
The horrifying emotions will eventually return,
Just as the thread will sew itself back through those worn out places of my heart.

I feel old sometimes
Like a blossom trapped between pages of a dictionary
A dictionary that had been left in the attic for years.

I feel young sometimes
Like a kitten that plays with it's toy on the floor
A kitten that never knew that there was more to life outside the house it lives in.

I feel hated sometimes
Like a blister bubbled on the bottom of your foot
A blister that you have to deal with for the rest of the hike.

I feel loved sometimes
Like tasting chocolate for the first time
A chocolate bar you received from your love on Valentines Day.

I feel ***** sometimes
Like how you feel after a day at the beach
A day at the beach that you still didn't shower after you got home.

I feel clean sometimes
Like that feeling you get when it rains and you're standing in it
A rain after the hardest week of your life.

I feel alone sometimes
Like when you're surrounded by all your loved ones but you don't exist
When you seem to go unnoticed when all you wanted was to be seen.

I feel claustrophobic sometimes
Like when you're trapped in an elevator with too many people
Trapped, when all you wanted was to be alone.

Sometimes I wish I didn't feel
But if I didn't feel
I wouldn't be me
And if I wasn't me
I wouldn't feel.

Before I even started writing
I knew I wouldn't want to share it with you
Because it's about you
Or really, directed at you.

I probably won't share it with you for a while
I  don't want you to feel any pressure
From my emotions
From my needs.

I'm a little upset
Well maybe 'upset' isn't  the word
But I'm bothered
And I keep thinking about it, and have been all day.

You wouldn't tell me if something was wrong?
Really?
Why?
I don't understand.

But I guess I slightly understand
Trust has to be earned..
You make it seem so easy
To not tell me things.

Like it doesn't bother you at all.
You answered quick to my question
As if you had been hiding all ready
Because you knew the answer, before thinking about it.

I guess I'm just wondering
When you're going to open up
But I'll give you space, I'll give you time
Because that's who I am.

And I'm sure I should just stop expecting
You to tell me things
When I suppose it's something normal for you
To hide away, behind your walls.

I get it
You probably think I don't, but I do
I know what it's like to hide
I do it all the time.

I know what it's like not to trust
Or trust the one you love
With your secrets
With your pains and your scars.

But I'm all right with that
It's not gonna stop me from loving you
It's not gonna stop me from telling you how I feel
Or telling you my secrets.

Cause maybe you have to figure me out
Before you can trust me with all those things you don't tell me, or anyone
Maybe that isn't the case
But I can tell myself that, and it'll make it understandable.

I know I can say all these things
But you won't open up
You'll have to do it on your own time
And I get that, I do.

I guess I just wish you could talk to me
And maybe that's a bit of a jump
Because you do talk to me
But I guess I just wish you'd tell me those things you don't tell anyone else.
That you'd tell me your deepest secrets
And let me past the surface.

Everyone can wish, but most don't receive.

Lies like liquid dripping from your tongue
You hang it out, forked and scandalous
Your words like venom, they stung
And I look at you like you have no soul.

The taste of honey on my lips
My words are soothing and fresh
We tear at each others pride, and it rips
Like poorly sewn seams of a dress.

Your eyes are vicious and angry slits
Mine are doe-round and bright
There's a darkness lingering around all your infamous wits
And I knock them down easily, one by one.

You're a tattered and tortured thing
You live by your words, but would not die
And I skip around and merrily sing
Oblivious, or not, to the hatred you harbor.

Like magnets we oppose each others side
But it takes two to tango
You are here and so am I
We will learn to live together -- Yin and Yang.

Like a Daisy you smile
When the sun beats down on your face
Your hair is blowing in the wind
And you're walking with a felines grace.

You have a body sculpted by Gods
And I had always envied you
With hair pretty and long
And the best personality to boot.

I thought I wanted to be like you
But that wasn't the case
I just wanted to be me
And something similarly great.

So I went out into the world
And sought out myself
She was hidden in a couple of rocks
And waiting on some bookshelves.

When I found her she smiled
It bloomed across her face
And she took my hand and led me
Down a beach to a magical place.

I no longer envy your beauty
But marvel at you with smiles
And realize when I look at myself
I have my own womanly wiles.

And why do we envy each other,
Us ladies all pretty and sweet?
Because we never look in the mirror
And let our reflection and self, meet.

I wanna be dancing
With the bass thumping loud
Sweaty and half naked
Lost in the crowd.

People all around me
A laser light show up above
The DJ's playing beats
Music that I love.

Raw, wild and filthy
Hips swaying like a snake
The darkness illuminated
By the light shows people make.

Everyone is dancing
Here in the middle of the floor
Bodies rocking and grooving
Sinful sweat dripping from our pores.

But for now I fantasize
About this moment in my mind
Sometime soon it will come true
And I'll get to bump and grind.

Like a loose leaf I fell from the tree,
The fall was long and freeing,
'Til I reached the bottom.

A wind has since then carried me,
To places far and wide,
I no longer know where I fell is.

The wind is both soothing and brash,
I don't trust it will take me back,
But to more beautiful sights.

Sinking
Sinking into a hole with vines to trap you
Thorns to stab you
To keep your heart from mending.

The darkness is welcomed
As much as you are afraid
But you're use to the fear
It haunts you often.

And looking up you see the sky
It explodes in cosmic colors
Nothing you can be a part of
You can only watch and yearn for it.

Your limbs you cannot move
And you realize you've stopped breathing
Or maybe you never did
You can't grasp the truth.

It all slips through your fingers
Like water through cracks
And everything is cold
And everything is lifeless.

In this hole you're confronted
With everything you need to face
You want to
But you want to hide.

You'll figure it out
Slash the vines
Destroy the thorns
Climb out of the hole.

Eventually
With time
You'll get to the sky
Up, up and away.

Because it's colors are so intimidating
But you want it so bad
It's right there
You can see it!

You cannot touch
You cannot have
But one day you will
You will, you will.

It's above you, you see
One day you'll leave this hole behind
To be with the other clouds in the sky
Cause really you're just a cloud, like all of them.

And you rain on yourself
All the time
And it's a continuous cycle
But all cycles break in the end.

Break your cycle
Be with the sky
And explode yourself
In cosmic colors.

You soothe all my aching pain
You cleanse me like refreshing rain
You leave behind a pleasant stain
You are sweet like sugar cane.
You teach my I've got much to gain
You keep my from riding in the tame lane
You allow me to be a little vain
And you love me as powerful as a freight train.
Our love is a smooth but scenic terrain
Though sometimes we go against the grain
Our passion is nothing close to plain
And more comfortable than a ball and chain.
I love you
Through thick and through thin
Though innocence and sin,
Like flowers to sunshine
It's not hard to define
I will love you
Like the sound of a rhyme
And hopefully, for a glorious time.

I wanna hold on to you
I wanna kiss you like I ought to
I wanna make love to you
I wanna touch you like I always do.
I wanna console you
I wanna tell you I love you like I ought to
I wanna protect you
I wanna shield you like I always do.
I don't wanna let you go
I wanna let my feelings show
I wanna tell you what I know
I wanna keep you from woe.
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
You can't always have what you want, they say
But you told me, clearly
That I can have you however which way.

I won't think twice about it
Though I will admit
That I was dealt ****
But I didn't quit
So I deserve this.

Staring into the fire I see
Your face and wish you were here with me

But even deep within my secret desire
I know we will never be

Unfortunately

I had to let you go
Because  you didn't love me anymore

But even still I want you to know
That I love  you down to my very core

Unfortunately

I don't want these feelings anymore
I can't get you out of my head!

Yes my broken heart is healing
But I won't forget the tears I shed

Everything is black and blue
Everything is dark and cold
Without you, who am I to hold?

Unfortunately nothing is fortunate anymore
Unfortunately you're gone
Unfortunately I'm still here
Unfortunately we lost our bond..
But fortunately everything is now clear.

You validate everything
I have wished to be validated for
Everything so small
And everything so big.

You point out everything
I've wanted to be pointed out
And not only with your words
But you like it, too.

And everything I've ever wanted
You've made it happen
Everything I wish I may, wish I might
You granted.

I wanted to be beautiful
And now I am
I always was
But I see it now, like you do.

I wanted to be unique
And now I am
You've encouraged me to be the difference
That I've always tried to be.

I wanted to be adventurous
A real die hard thrill seeker
I'm not quite there
But I believe I can be anything now.

I wanted to be loved
Madly, out of control but exciting loved
And here you are
Surpassing even that.

I wanted to grow
And I reached to the sky so many times
But I didn't know
I couldn't do it alone.

I wanted to be thought of every day
Or at least thought of affectionately
You think of me all of the time
And I don't doubt your love.

I wanted to be important
To one person, or to all
And just by one look
I know I'm your world.

I wanted to be acknowledged
For all those dumb things you want to be acknowledged for
And you do it so well
And sincerely.

I wanted to be accepted
No matter my faults
And you take it all
With open arms.

I wanted someone to smile
Because of me
Because of something I did
Because of something I said
Because of something I am
Be happy, because of me.

I've only known distaste
Because of me
Because of something I did
Because of something I said
Because of something I am
Being unhappy, because of me.

Because of who I am.

Everything I am
You've grown to love
And I think all my wishes
Have come true.

I don't have to cry those tears anymore
The ones of wanting to change
Because all I wanted
Was to be loved for me.

And now I am.

Open your eyes
Look at me
Do you see what I see
Between you and I?

I can see the wavelengths
Pulling and pushing
Growing and shrinking
Like ocean waves.

I'm connected to you
Open your eyes to see it
Accept the webs
Tying us together.

Now take a deep breath
See it ripple
As I breathe with you
It rolls.

It's a compromise
Of our desires
Feel the waves, see them
Wash over your skin.

The color is vibrant
Iridescent, fluorescent
Warm, wet, comforting
In rainbow shades.

It's glittered with stars
Like our own galaxy
I love you, you love me
That's all that matters.

The center is our hearts
With our bodies making the waves
The connection is strong
And inevitable.

The difference between you and I
Is forgotten
And we are one
In this galaxy, this web of glowing technicolor.

You eyes are blue
With honey so sweet
Accenting the sad-sad shade
Like a silver lined cloud.

It's funny, strange even
How the color of your eyes
Match the rain
That haunts you.

A complicated and versatile color
That collects in many locations
In everyone's life
Your life, my life.

Tell me what you see
As I breathe with you
Cause I see it
Do you see it too?

The truth is beyond the horizon
it lies asleep
in the deep sea

The truth is sought after
to no avail

It will only wake and rise
when
the time
is right

The clock of eternity ticks
But no one knows the time
Every second counts
Adding up towards the end

The truth that is sought
will awaken

and bring
the end
of time

And all that has been waited for
Will commence in just one second

And in that one second
The truth will unfold
to reveal:
the end
and the beginning
of time.

"I really don't like this song
It sounds so terribly dead"
I looked around at all the people
They hadn't heard what I said.

"Turn it off!" I said
"Turn it off!" I said
"It's driving me completely insane!"
But the people there were inside of my head
And the song they played was the same.

Spread your wings and fly
Like a bird in the sky
I know you're asking why
We had to say goodbye
I can still hear your cry
Your breath like a sigh
And while I'm up so high
I'll wonder why you had to die
---Goodbye.

I think I'm beginning to fall pretty hard
In that tumbling down a hill sort of way
He's a great guy, perfect really
Always brightening my day.

Actually it's more like my life
That he makes better all the time
I'm constantly happy and upbeat
No matter the way or rhyme.

This is his doing
The way he just comes up in here
Shakes up my world
All upside down, but totally clear.

I mean it's clear to me
Where this is going
I'm not sure if he knows
But love is going to be overflowing.

Soon, very soon.
Like a flower
It will blossom
It will bloom.

I'll take this all to the depth of my heart
My emotions flourishing
Growing and expanding
Nourishing..
My soul.

It's gonna happen
I can try to hide from it
I can try to run from it
But it will get me and and it--
Will just be.

We're all individuals
But part of a tree
Some of us are leafs
And grow into green.
Others are seeds
That plant a way of life
Some of us are flowers
Growing beautiful, through strife.
Plenty are juicy fruits
Coming with the harvest to please
Then there are the branches
That carry them all and put them at ease.
The bark covers the tree
Protecting all that it is
And the roots grow deep into the ground
Keeping the tree from falling amiss.
We all grow towards the sky
But most don't make it that far
Will we ever reach the heavens?
Will we ever touch a star?
But whatever piece you are
No matter our differences
Were all a part of the tree
Past, future, and present tenses.

Not all the colors within myself,
are bright and flecked with gold.
In fact some of them are dark,
and some of them are old.
A few are striped and tiled,
others are polka-dotted and lined with black.
Lots of them are glittery,
and some of them are layered in a stack.
Several are pastels and pretty,
a couple are neon and glow.
With all the colors inside myself,
I make a contrasting, ridiculous and wild, rainbow.
Everyone has colors within themselves,
That makes up who they are,
Some of them are tacky,
Lots are metallic like a star.
But a lot of them are specific,
Each hue to each person,
Every palette is unique,
Just look at everyone!
So if you look inside yourself,
And check out your color collage,
I'm sure you'll be pretty impressed
With your colorful modge podge!

Flower petals fall
From a wilting bloom
The rain has long been gone
It hasn't brought it's yearned for gloom.

The blossom looks down
To the earth it sprouted from
It's back bending over
The rain, it wants it to come.

Though it's death is near
A new plant will arise
From the seeds it drops
And the rain falling from high.

When the next blossom blooms
It will smile up at the sky
But until it can be born
Another has to die.

I love you more
Than the flowers love rain
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than the lizard loves the sun
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I hate pain
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I want to run
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I want to cry, sometimes
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I hate stress
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I love writing rhymes
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I know how to express
So I kiss you like that.

And you like it like that,
So it'll always be like that.